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Old 12-27-2009, 05:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

HI guys. Brief history of myself and my cat Sarah. I never liked cats before. I was a roommate at a friends house and she had 2 cats. Tonkinese. One was very outgoing and talkative the other one Sarah was shy and very scaredy. Anyway, she grew attached to me and i ended up falling in cat love with her. She is shy and quiet, not to mention beautiful. I lived there for 6 years, then my older sister came to Ca to live with me. My friend told me she would let me have Sarah, because Sarah would be upset I was gone. Oh by the way, when I would go on vacations she would poop and pee on my bed, because she was so upset i was gone. So now my sister and Sarah and I have been living in this condo for 2 years. Sister has always been slightly allergic to her, but Sarah hardley ever comes out of my room except to eat, potty and sometimes go outside (which she never ventured outsied of the patio area. Always close to the door. lolol. Well, now aparantly my sister is getting the allergy pretty bad now and wants me to give her back to my friend. My friend and I both agree this cannot be done, since she has just gotten 2 new cats and Sarah would fall apart from stress. I'm almost thinking so unrational that I would rather move out to another place, which I am still considering. I know many of you have given cats away before. For some reason I can't stop crying thinking that I'm going to have to give her away. She is the love of my life. I just want some input on how some of you have felt and your stories to help me deal with this. Crap,I wasn't this upset when my parents past lol How selfish I feel.
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Old 12-27-2009, 06:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

I would move, rather than give her up. I would continue to be close to my sister, but I would move, nevertheless. Actually, she should move, but I know you don't want to hurt her.

I think you are too upset right now to remember how devastating it was to lose your parents.
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

Is your sister taking allergy medication? If not, that's the first place to start. I find Xyrtec to be wonderful stuff...actually I buy the generic version in BJs and it works great.

You can also help reduce dander in the air by wiping the cat down, regular vacuuming (rugs & furniture), and hepa filters. Also, she shouldn't let the cat in her room at all.
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Old 12-27-2009, 08:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

Quote:
Originally Posted by doodlebug
Is your sister taking allergy medication? If not, that's the first place to start. I find Xyrtec to be wonderful stuff...actually I buy the generic version in BJs and it works great.

You can also help reduce dander in the air by wiping the cat down, regular vacuuming (rugs & furniture), and hepa filters. Also, she shouldn't let the cat in her room at all.
I completely agree with the above statement. There are other avenues besides getting rid of your Sarah. My brother and his wife are the proud owner of Mouser. A stray tomcat that landed on their doorstep a few years ago that the owner kept outside (he's declawed, mean people!). My brother and his wife fell in love with his sweet self and started feeding him. His wife did not know her level of allergies until they started bringing in Mouser to their house. The owner eventually let them have him without a complaint.

They did the above actions to help curb her allergies, plus they would bathe Mouser every two weeks to help with the cat dander. Hope that helps! But do what Doodlebug suggest and have your sister look into allergy medicine first.

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Old 12-27-2009, 08:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

I forgot to add...Xyrtec does make me kind of sleepy, so I take it at night before bed and by morning the drowsiness side effect has worn off, the the allergy med is still working well.
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Old 12-27-2009, 08:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

There are a few things your sister could do to alleviate her allergy symptoms...

1) Groom the cat daily so that she doesn't shed as much on the furniture
2) You can use "cat wipes" that reduce the amount of dander that leaves the fur. I don't know how effective these are but you can give them a shot.
3) There are a lot of "natural" herbal supplements that she can take, some more useful than other, if she feels uneasy about taking antihistamines every day. None of these will be as effective as OTC antihistamines, but honestly even the placebo effect will help a bit.
4) Get a vacuum that has a hepa filter in it.
5) I know a few people on this channel give their cats baths regularly (once a week) and find that this helps a lot

Honestly, I know how you feel. A couple weeks after I rescued Mak my roommate/landlord said that he had to go and I spent a week in tears. In the end, I decided to move out. I don't regret it at all. For me, it wasn't a decision that was her vs. my cat. I knew that if I moved out, I would still be able to maintain a close friendship with my roommate, but if I gave away the cat... that was it, he would be out of my life forever. I didn't want to have to live with someone who I resented because they made me get rid of something that I loved so dearly. In the end it's a decision that you have to make for yourself.
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Old 12-27-2009, 09:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

I hope you don't have to give Sarah away! I agree with the above posters... I'm also allergic to my cats. I don't get itchy or react to bites or scratches, I have asthma attacks. So I self medicate with generic allergy meds and use an emergency inhaler when my asthma acts up. I leave the windows open 99% of the time for fresh air and regularly vacuum, wash bedding, and spend time at work or outdoors so that I don't have constant exposure. (I've also considered an air filter, which may help but are very expensive.) Over time, I've grown accustomed to my cats and no longer have as many allergic reactions as I used to.

When I was diagnosed with asthma, they told me I should get rid of my cats, but I knew I couldn't do it. They're living beings, not disposable toys. I know it seems harsh to have to tell your sister to get over it or force her to take meds or even move out... but you can try to explain that there are lots of cats in shelters who can't find homes and lots of people now are giving up their pets because of the recession. Offer to help out as best you can (cleaning and anti-allergy sprays, etc., maybe even help pay for meds?) but let her know that Sarah is part of your family too.
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Old 12-27-2009, 09:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrysalis
When I was diagnosed with asthma, they told me I should get rid of my cats, but I knew I couldn't do it. They're living beings, not disposable toys.
I've had people tell me that as well, when my asthma acts up. When my asthma acts up, it's about 99.9% weather related. NOT cat related.
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Old 12-28-2009, 10:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

If push comes to shove I would find somewhere else to live and take Sarah with you. Your sister can cope on her own but it sounds like Sarah can't - she is devoted to you. As someone else has said your sister came to live with you knowing you had a cat so really it is up to her to try to remedy her problem - not you and Sarah. Sorry if that sounds a little harsh but can you imagine how Sarah would cope if you weren't there for her?

Good luck - I hope you find a solution.
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Old 12-28-2009, 11:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Heartbroken!! I have to give my cat away

Hi guys. Thank you all so much for the helpful suggestions and support. Here's the update. Sarah is staying!!!!! After 2 tense weeks of really not speaking to my sister, and I was just getting ready to drop the bomb on her about me moving out, we have come to an agreement. We went to a nice restaurant and had a nice meal and good conversation. Nothing about Sarah though!!!. So when we got home I decided to tell her about giving her to a friend's old mother and then I was going to ask her if she still felt that Sarah had to go and If she was going to say yes, I was then going to tell her I was thinking of mvoing out. But it never got any further then that. After I mentioned about Sarah leaving, my sister got whelly and said she has been feeling a lot better and is able to breath. She just bought a $500 hepa air purifier and a new hepa vacuum $250 and also scrubbed and cleaned all the cabinets (which i did not know since I was at work) She also is taking some meds for it, which she doesn't really want to do, but she finally realized how important Sarah is to me. So we came up with a game plan of daily grooming and weekly baths and a little extra care in keeping the condo clean. Also, someone had said about the condo being closed up. I live inSan Diego and the doors and windows are open 24/7. However,just this last month it has been a bit chilly and we were closing all doors and windows. So that was a big problem. So now I sit here crying of JOY!!! and just yesterday I was flipping out!!! Funny how life works!!! Again Thanks to All for responding. If I can figure out how to put a pic on this forum I will .
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