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Old 10-15-2012, 09:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry Insensitive Family Member!

I am so sorry, but I have to vent my anger. I know you guys will understand.

Quick review: I found a kitten at my mother's house Friday evening. She said it had been there since the night before and was meowing up a storm. If it didn't leave her property, she was going to dump him at the humane society.

I couldn't have that, as our shelter is very high-kill and the only shelter in the area. So I took the kitten home with me and he has been living here all weekend - taking him to get a wellness check at the vet at 10 this morning!

So my mother, knowing full well that this kitten has lived here for two and a half days already, cuddling and playing with my husband, myself, and our three-year-old daughter. We've even named him! Of course we're attached already - there's just no way around it.

Well, my mom needs me to take her to pick up her car from the mechanic today. I told her yes-indeedy, that would be just fine and dandy and just give us a call whenever the car is ready. But FYI, we'll be gone around 10 and will be back in about an hour or so - just making sure the kitten is in good shape before introducing him to his housemates.

She went into this complete nutty-as-a-fruitcake tirade about money and how the vet will "charge an arm and a leg" to give the kitten a checkup...blah blah blah...money money money....

Its worth a mention that my hubs and I have been together 12 years and never had any money issues. He is more than gainfully employed - I stay at home with my daughter - obviously if we had money issues, I'd get a job!

Anyway, Ma said something along the lines of, "they are going to charge you hundreds of dollars today!" [Hundreds? HA!]

I asked her, annoyed, "Well, where else am I supposed to take him to get checked out, then?"

She replied, huffily, even more annoyed than I was, "The humane society! He needs to be at the humane society! I would have done it myself if you hadn't taken him! I will never let you back at my house when a stray is around! Never!!!"

I frankly told her, "Give me a call when your car is ready." and practically hung up on her. I am so mad, I could spit.

How could someone be so insensitive? Mom's always been paranoid about money issues - she's the type who is terrified to let her kids out in the real world in fear that they'll screw up. I've been out 12 years now...nothing has ever happened.

But to be this way about a kitten. A little, helpless kitten! I am so angry right now!

Ugh, and I have four cats now - kitten included. I'm far from being an animal hoarder. But I do save lives when I can. I have neglected to take in adult strays before - but they can fend for themselves. This is just a little baby...

I am so mad, guys. Did I mention that? ha!
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Yikes. Sounds like the money thing is such an issue for her that she's blind to the kitten's wellbeing. Well, it's your money, so I think you have every right to choose how to spend it. Not to mention you're spending it super responsibly to save a life.

Are there any other shelters in your area that are no-kill? Maybe give her a list of those should she ever come across another stray. That way she could contact those places over the humane society.

Not sure what else to say but I hope she warms up to the kitten eventually What did you name him?
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:58 AM   #3 (permalink)
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You're doing the right, kind, considerate, humane thing. Don't let your mom get you down.
Not to get all Anne Landers/Dr. Phil on you but: any chance your *mother* has money problems? Or maybe your mother is trying to justify her own (subconscious) guilt about dumping a cat. Or, your mother is really worried about the doctor's appointment and is diverting her attention on to you. Kind of like redirected aggression in cats.
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Old 10-15-2012, 10:04 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I feel for you. My family is the same way. She freaked out when I got our dog(a year and a half ago) so much that I didn't tell her when we got our first cat(last November ) and her cage mate two weeks later. She didnt find out till march when a big mouthed aunt saw it on Fb and blabbed. She lost is and as well freaked out about money, etc. I of course didnt tell her about the third cat. She only found out when we bought out house and they came to see it. They saw the two cats(one was the newest one but she never saw them) then the third one came out and she flipped her lid. I still get made fun of by relatives saying my house is overrun by animals. My mom even yelled at bf for allowing it(he loves animals and rescuing too).

I simply ignore it now. If I let it get to me then I would get so mad I would never see my side of the family again. It's your life and your decision. The kitten is obviously better off with you than a high kill shelter. Remember , you did a great thing.
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Old 10-15-2012, 10:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
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My 3-year-old named him, "Nini." Well, we think its a "he." I'll find out today! Either way, Nini works!

My mother doesn't have any money problems, but she is spending a lot of it at the moment. Her million-and-a-half year old car broke down months ago, spent over 1K to fix it, it broke again, fixed it, now its broken again! I told her to just go out and buy a new one, but she decided to spend that money on a new RV even though the one she has is fine and dandy itself. But she could totally afford both if she wanted to. Money's just no issue to her, really. She's not a millionaire, but she's as well off as any little old lady could hope to be in retirement!

But its possible that the mere action of her spending it has gotten her paranoid about me spending mine. You know the type - she's the only person who can do anything correctly and she expects everyone to go to her for advice.

She's not entirely hostile toward animals or cats (she has two cats herself). She just doesn't care for them like we do. Her animals just live with her until they die - no checkups, no immunizations, nothing. When I became old enough to drive, I did it myself because I couldn't bear to think the cats were sick or needed their shots.

But so far as feeding them, playing, stuff like that, she's fine. I just don't think she's in for the commitment.

Needless to say, she simply doesn't care how high the kill rate is as the shelter. I'm mad right now so I am just going to blast her all day without a second thought to it, but I think that's one of the most selfish things you can do. We live in a really low-income, poor economic, rural area. Just one shelter.

She truly thinks that dumping it is the easiest way to make it "not her problem." Out of sight, out of mind. She likes to tell herself that the animals she has dumped in the past were adopted by some loving family. Yeah right.
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Old 10-15-2012, 10:35 AM   #6 (permalink)
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3furbabies, your post made me laugh so hard! I can just picture my mom in my living room, chatting it up and a kitten waltzes in..."Hey, Grandma! What's up!"

It sounds rather teenage-y to say this, but its my life and I can do what I want! I am *thisclose* to telling her this, I swear.

Its not even so much as the original mention of dumping it that ticks me off, its the mentioning it today when its been living here, cared for, and named!

What in ayche-ee-double hockey sticks are you supposed to tell a 3-year-old child when you rip the kitten they've been cuddling with for over two days with away, and send it away never to be heard from again?! Its not only cruel to the cat, but cruel to the child!

And my husband! He'd smack me over the head with a frying pan if I so much as gave him a cuddly little furball to play with for a weekend and all of a sudden, dump it.

I just don't know why she can't keep her bleepin' mouth shut. The more I think of it, the angrier I get! Raarrr!
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Old 10-15-2012, 11:40 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Try to think of it this way- you are teaching the NEXT generation how to be kind, open and loving toward animals. It might be the best thing that you can do.

Nini is a cute name for a new kitty. Hope all goes well at the check up and I hope that you are able to post a few pictures of the whole fur family (you can add the skin kid if you want. we like them too).
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Old 10-15-2012, 11:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midgiepooh View Post


What in ayche-ee-double hockey sticks are you supposed to tell a 3-year-old child when you rip the kitten they've been cuddling with for over two days with away, and send it away never to be heard from again?! Its not only cruel to the cat, but cruel to the child!

I just don't know why she can't keep her bleepin' mouth shut. The more I think of it, the angrier I get! Raarrr!
The child would get over it the same way I got over losing a kitten when I was around that age. He used to join me in my games with toy soldiers. Life's problems are very transient for a three year old.

Has anyone checked to see if this is a lost kitten -- made an attmpt to find its guardian/caretaker. There could be another three year old who's lost a kitten.

Calm down before you get sick..
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Old 10-15-2012, 12:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midgiepooh View Post
3furbabies, your post made me laugh so hard! I can just picture my mom in my living room, chatting it up and a kitten waltzes in..."Hey, Grandma! What's up!"!
Haha, sounds funny but it's true. One was on the condo and another one came down stairs. When the third one was beside the second one my moms like 'what is that???' I'm like 'uh a cat?' She didn't find that funny though, lol.

Mine is like yours, but she is more indifferent to cats. She is more of a dog person and thinks cats are animals that should stay outside(total opposite). I remember as a kid we would always have stray cats having babies in the garage. My mom would shoo them away or call animal control(they put them down where she lives right away) of course I was little and had no control but it made me so sad.

I wouldn't think much of it though. Some people don't have as high a regard of animals as others. Let her think what she wants, you know you are doing the right thing.
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Old 10-15-2012, 12:35 PM   #10 (permalink)
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The checkup went without a hitch! We discovered "he" is actually a "she" and she couldn't be in better health! The only unfortunate thing about it is that it was kind of a waste of time to even bring her - she's that well off! But hey, that's a problem I love to have!

Anyway, no one has lost a kitten in the area. My mom has only one neighbor and I've already called them. The rest of the area is farmland as far as the eye can see. Almost all of the strays we come across were born in an abandoned barn on a defunct farm. I can only assume Nini is one of those.

Oh...and the checkup was only $30. And yes, I told my mom and gloated the whole time!
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