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Old 11-09-2012, 02:11 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Elisabeth, that's exactly what I mean! That's exactly the right way to use crates for both cats and dogs.

Crating itself is a good idea for a lot of dogs...him suggesting you confine your cat so its 'fair' for his dog isn't ok. It's possible he'll change his mind I'd you do move in together and he gets to know your cat....but IMO it's more likely that he'll put his foot down about it because then it's 'his home too'. :/

If it was just this issue then I'd be likely to wait and see, relationship-wise. But it would sure be something I'd think seriously about.

Becky and the cats: Jitzu (11), Torri (9), Doran (, and Muffin (
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Old 11-09-2012, 04:43 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Ritzpg View Post
Ask your (x) boyfriend if you can adopt the elder dog.
And then tell the boyfriend he has been replaced. By the dog.
YES!! Perfect solution

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Old 11-09-2012, 06:59 PM   #23 (permalink)
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For the record, Oz is fine with his crate for trips. He's a pretty mellow cat so it helps. If I pull out his crate he'll get in it on his own and looks at me like "where are we going?"

(As for the boyfriend and I, I don't know how much longer it will last. I hate to be an awful, shallow person but we are from two different backgrounds. It wasn't so bad when we both had careers. But since he took an hourly retail job, things have been uncomfortable. I'm finding it hard to respect him for throwing years of education and experience away. I came to that realization when I am going to my company's Christmas party alone without even informing him of it. I knew about this party after the fight.)

By the way, thank you for some of those posts. Some sure made me giggle!
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Old 11-10-2012, 09:48 AM   #24 (permalink)
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I am not familiar with the community here yet but as an outsider, it does seem a little controlling of him to have suggested that in the first place. I mean, he is entitled to his opinion on cats but you come with the cat just as comes with the dogs, so you both have to deal.
Since your attitude right off the bat was like, "I could dump him, I love my cat too much" (which I thought was hilarious and I laughed) it suggested to me that your guys' relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with- let alone something with which would work if you moved in!
When I met my bf I was living with my mom, we had 2 cats, a dog, 2 rabbits, and 2 turtles. We moved in pretty early- 6 months or something (had to do with getting ready for the new school year and him coming back to the province) I took my little dog and rabbit (at that point one rabbit passed away and I re-homed the turtles through my rescue due to having spina bifida) My bf learned a lot about living with pets lol
I was the same, just not outright with it, the dog I had for a lot longer than him. Pets came first.

I think crate training can be done right, but is often abused as a training aid and treated more for a confinement. Like, why even have pets if you're going to bar them up all day! I can never understand. I feel bad for your bf's poor dogs, I truly do. I wish he was more open to hearing you out instead of demanding you crate the cat.

Cats and dogs are such different animals. The dog will not get "jealous" lol

Good luck with this scenario!
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Old 11-10-2012, 04:38 PM   #25 (permalink)
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If he just can't find another job, then I applaud him for taking one regardless of whether or not it is his 'dream job'. working is working .. however, if he just did it so he could slack off, then meh. Basing an opinion of someone on their career is quite shallow. A career shows what a person does to earn a living, but says nothing else about a person's qualities. Many good people work hourly jobs, and many arrogant, crappy people are career people 'shrug'.

As to what started this conversation originally, if the dog choose to self crate that's one thing. I will say I have a 12 almost 13 year old dog that is not left unattended .. ever. He persists in marking and can't be trusted, so he gets to stay in the bathroom when I leave. It doesn't matter, he's sleeping the whole time I'm gone anyway.
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Old 11-10-2012, 05:56 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by OliverandCo. View Post
The dog will not get "jealous" lol
I'm don't know if dogs can get jealous of people, but they can about other dogs. A neighbour I had over the back had two dogs. The dominant one was very jealous if the other one got petted. The poor animal was starved for affection.
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Old 11-11-2012, 11:05 AM   #27 (permalink)
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They can obviously feel jealous if another dog gets treats or attention and they dont but if everyone in gone from the house except the cat and dog then the cat won't be dragging garbage and treats down to eat in front of the crate to make him jealous. The cat will likely just sleep.
I am under the impression that the dog was confined to the crate bc the owner didn't want to deal with them. Or he was at work all day. Not a life for a dog.
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