I need some emotional advice

[Arianwen]

Originally Posted by onyxsham

Perhaps forgiving is the Christian thing to do, but I am not christian and the guy, if this whole thing is true, is insane and obviously has no morals. There is no point in forgiving him and quite frankly no point in interacting with him. He lacks common human decency and something like that cannot be taught. What are you going to do, send him to sensitivity training. I would avenge the cat, find something that he likes and destroy it (make sure its inanimate object, like a signed jersey or something and burn it, then send him the video and tell him you find that team vile and disgusting.

I am a Christian - I know I should forgive but in this instance the sin wasn't against me but against a genuinely innocent creature, which I am not. I have to admit that I am with you completely. I think this guy is utterly despicable.

[Hairball]

Good point, Arianwen. A person should only forgive offences done to them personally, or perhaps to their loved ones. In this case, the offence was done to another being (a cat), whom we didn't even know----therefore not really up to any of us to forgive.

[Marcia]

Originally Posted by onyxsham

Perhaps forgiving is the Christian thing to do, but I am not christian and the guy, if this whole thing is true, is insane and obviously has no morals. There is no point in forgiving him and quite frankly no point in interacting with him. He lacks common human decency and something like that cannot be taught. What are you going to do, send him to sensitivity training. I would avenge the cat, find something that he likes and destroy it (make sure its inanimate object, like a signed jersey or something and burn it, then send him the video and tell him you find that team vile and disgusting.

AGREE, AGREE, and AGREE except... forgiving has absolutely NOTHING to do with Christianity. The forgiveness is NOT for the perp BIL's actions, it is for MyBabiesDaddy's peace of mind. It will lift the burden off HIS shoulders. Would you rather see MyBabiesDaddy stew in hatred, resentment and loathing? The anger and hatred gnaws away at you if you do not release it. And vengence is NOT the answer and only escalate the whole affair and not end well. Better to do a kindness to another cat, preferably by BIL, if, big IF here, he has repented. If not, then it is better to just let the whole thing go and keep a distance from the jerk.

[MyBabiesDaddy]

@marcia - I kind of feel like others have noted, that its not my role to "forgive" him, since he didn't do anything to me personally. I understand what you're saying though, I just don't think "forgivness" is what will allow me stop resenting him. In fact, I don't think he really deserves any kind of forgiveness since he doesn't seems to regret what he did! I think my only recourse is to give him a cold shoulder until I have some sort of indication that he regrets what he did. Only then can I convince myself that he had made a terrible mistake and than I might be able to give him a second chance. I can learn to not resent him if I know it was a mistake, but I will never stop resenting him if he has no regret.

@ragdoll-joy - I agree,and I'd want to kill whoever hurt my babies too. I was so incredibly angry at my BIL because in my imagination he had put one of my little babies into the trap and thrown him away to die.

[LunaTheHimmydoll]

I have met similarly despicable people in my life but luckily enough none were family members. I would just try to put it out of your mind and spend as little time with this guy as possible. I mean, what else can you do? I can't help but to think that there is something fundamentally wrong with a person who would do a thing like that. You are certainly not going to reform him.