Thank you all for taking the time to read my post. He is my brother in law because he's married to my sister. He actually didn't even understand what he did "wrong" until my sister had to EXPLAIN to him that he did something bad. He actually told me that its no different then throwing away a mouse In a trap. Firstly, I told him, I wouldn't allow a trapped mouse to die slowly, as much as it would hurt me, I'd end it's suffering quickly. I explained to him that a cat has feelings and emotions and People keep them as pets, so they're not "vermin". After I left the house my parents tried to calm me down and told me I shouldn't get so upset at him just because he feels he way he does about cats. I didn't even bother to respond to them because the fact that they said that to me shows that they are just clueless. They tried to tell me that he understood what he did was wrong end he regrets it now, but based in the way he was laughing about it, I just don't buy it. My sisters isn't an animal "lover", so although she understood what he did was wrong, it doesn't affect her like it did me, since I can relate to the poor soul because of my cats.
@catinthemirror: if I saw someone mistreating their cat like that I'd never speak to them again and offer to take their cat away from them since they obviously don't care. It's a little different in this case because he's family and as much as i don't want to ever see him again, I will.
@anie: you make a good point in that as much as I'd perhaps "want" to forgive him, I can't. I can't erase the thought of the suffering cat. When I left the house and went to get some solace from the outdoor cat I felt a lot better. I took it as a "sign from god" that god had taken care of his creature and sent someone to free him. The next night I went looking for that outdoor cat again and she wasn't there. I hope that someone let the cat out, it doesn't deserve to die so horribly. But the point is even if I "wanted" to forgive him, I don't think it's me he needs forgiveness from, it's from God and the poor cat. So I don't have any way of moving on. I just have to deal with it somehow, and I'm having a hard time. Every time I think about it I get so angry and sad and depressed.
@Nan: he, and my whole family, know how I feel NOW. I was VERY angry, and I was close to jumping over the table and attacking him. I purposely completely ignored him the rest of my stay with my family. At the time they didn't know I love cats, so I know he didn't say it to hurt me. He wasn't even talking to me, I had overheard him talking to his brother.
@those who want me to report him, I agree that I thought about it. But I don't think it would make any difference except to make him hate the cats more. I hope that he learned his lesson and doesn't do anything horrible to the rest of the cats near his work.
The one good thing that came of this is that as I was brooding and fuming in the living room, his 10 year old son, my nephew, came to me and said "for what it's worth, I agree with you, not my father". I made sure to explain to him what was so horrible about what his father did. I hope that he learns to grow up and love animals, or at least, be compassionate towards other living things.
I know I'm going to visit my family in 3 months and I'm dreading it. I'm actually very close to not going there (different city) just because I am revolted by having to see him. sigh* I just can't understand how people can be so cruel
Im hoping that somewhere along the discussions in this thread, someone will help me figure out a way to make my point clear to him, have him understand what he did wrong, admit what he did was beyond awful and have him make amends, not to me, but to the cats. In a purrfect world I'd love it if he donated some time or at least money to a cat shelter , or even leave food out for the ferals near his office. But I doubt that'll happen since I doubt he gives those cats a second thought. How does one convince a person who doesn't care about animals to care? Ultimately I think it's something I'll have to internalize and learn to live with since I'm helpless and powerless to make him change.
Thanks for hearing me rant. If I had a shrink I'd definitely be trying to figure it out with them.