Rescue FAIL!!!

[Nan]

I would second and third the opinions given that you should go to your local shelter(s) and look. A couple years ago my long-time cat companion had te be put to sleep.

I had been wanting to do a kitchen renovation & decided it was the perfect time to do that when I was catless. But I still looked online and felt a connection with several cats that I saw. I was not going to be able to adopt for a few months because of my decision about the renovation.

I looked at my local humane society's webpage at least weekly and saw a bunch of cute cats. They had a bonded pair (torties) that were fostered out at a different location. I was just sure that these were going to be my cats. When the time came, I went to the humane society. These 2 cats were there. One of them wouldn't give me the time of day; the other was quite shy but cute. I was kind of disapointed that I didn't feel a connection; though they were still "possibles". I visited 3 times. I looked at practically every cat they had. I also saw another long haired adorable cat and talked to someone about her. The 3rd time I asked if they had any bonded cats and was introduced to my cats. It was definatly love at first site when I saw Harli. She was so friendly! My former cat was a grey tiger tabby, and when I saw Lily it felt too good to be true; I fell in love with her too.

[JustOneMore]

Originally Posted by Blakeney Green

I hope you understand that I'm not saying this to criticize you, only trying to speak as the voice of experience - but bonding with a cat's picture and story is very different from bonding with a cat face to face. All cats have quirks and different ways of being demanding that can really take you by surprise and throw you for a loop. That pretty face can conceal serious behavioural problems; on the flip side, the plainest cat in the shelter may be the most loving pet you could ever want. There's no way to be sure you will click with a particular cat aside from spending time with him or her.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that you settle for a cat you feel no bond with or have no interest in caring for; that wouldn't be a good thing for either you or the cat.

What I hear people saying is more that adopting a cat based on a picture and story is a bit like marrying someone based on their online dating profile. Not to say it could never work out, but there's going to be a lot of missing information about how compatible you actually are.

I would also strongly caution you against thinking of any cat as yours before the paperwork is signed and you bring them home. You can set yourself up for tremendous heartache that way. Even if the cat is available, you may not be chosen, or the rescue organization may decide that your home doesn't have the resources to support the cat's special needs, or the foster home may decide to keep the cat as a permanent family member, or in rare cases the cat may even become unadoptable or die before you can bring him or her home.

I know feeling a bond can happen easily and isn't always preventable even if you wanted to. (There's a cat I saw at an adoption event a few months ago that I still think about, but for various reasons me not adopting her was the right decision for all involved, including the cat herself.) I also think you have to be a bit realistic, though, that a cat isn't yours until the cat is yours.

I wish you well in finding your new pet.

I think your right and I've learned through this process that rescuing is A LOT different then buying from a breeder (which i am very much used to). I should not have let myself get so tangled on them so fast. I'm not the type to fall so easily but there were just certain things I read about them that made me feel connected to them. I don't know if I'm made for rescuing either. I guess the future will tell.

ETA - Also, I don't think your criticizing me or being mean. I think you were very nice in saying where I went wrong. Thank you for your input.

[JustOneMore]

Originally Posted by marie73

Think back to the story behind your avatar. It just means that there are other cats/kittens who need a good home more than the ones you're posting about. It'll all work out.

I'm so glad I got my bratz instead.

Thanks for your kind words. The thing is that you know what happened to those kittens. I don't feel closure with my situation. I feel like I gave my heart away and lost it.

UPDATE

I finally heard back from the shelter with the female cat. She has already been adopted out. I felt a little disappointed but mostly happy for her. It sounded like she went to a really great home and so that makes me happy.

I've still not heard back from the shelter with the male cat. I've made up my mind for now that I'm not even going to consider rescuing again until I figure out what happened to him or that I'm not allowed to adopt him. I do have a family member in his area and I've been considering contacting them to get ahold of this shelter. If it comes to it, I'll do it, but for now I'm waiting and trying to do what I can from here.

Thank you everyone for your words of advice.

[marie73]

Originally Posted by JustOneMore

Thanks for your kind words. The thing is that you know what happened to those kittens. I don't feel closure with my situation.

Actually, I don't. By the time the shelter got back to me about them, I had already met and fell in love with the twinz. I'm sure they found a great home, but I was mostly sad because they'd probably be split up.

The right cats will find their way to your home, and your heart.

[JustOneMore]

Originally Posted by marie73

Actually, I don't. By the time the shelter got back to me about them, I had already met and fell in love with the twinz. I'm sure they found a great home, but I was mostly sad because they'd probably be split up.

The right cats will find their way to your home, and your heart.

Thanks Marie.

[ezmeray]

Originally Posted by JustOneMore

... This is not about having any cat, this is about having the cats I've already made a connection with. I'm not going to go get any old cat from a shelter, but thanks for your advice. ...

I don't know.. I don't really think there is any such thing as just 'any old cat', I think all cats are special and deserve equally loving homes.

I first saw my cat at a local health fair, the humane society had a few cats there, and my family saw her, and had to have her (we hadn't even planned on it, but some things just work out when you least expect).

also,
Marcia: I think it's amazing that you only adopt older/adult cats. That's what I plan to do eventually when I have my life settled (after finally finishing my education, and settling in one location for good). Older cats have so much life and love, and deserve to be loved and adopted, vs just the kittens and young cats finding homes.

[MyBabiesDaddy]

I have to agree with other posters who said that you need to meet the cat face to face. When we decided to get a companion to my Cuddles I went to the shelter and spend 2 hours just watching the cats interact. I saw an absolutely adorable little kitten who was mushy and lovable, but she hissed at a few other cats, which concerned me. Then I saw my Simba, who was just a playful and naughty little thing, and although he barely gave me the time of day, I knew he'd be a great playmate/companion to my Cuddles. Plus, since he wasn't "special" looking, we felt he might have a harder time getting adopted. Cuddles and Simba are now best friends, and as an added bonus, Simba is mushy and a purring machine the second we walk by him!! Go to a shelter, meet the cats, and see who makes you swoon, and pick him/her!

[maggie23]

i haven't read all the posts on this thread, but i would recommend along with some of them that it would be a great idea to visit some shelters in your local area before adopting these 2 from different states. there are SO many kitties in need in all of our own "backyards." they need love just as much as any other and you might just find 2 you completely fall for AND get along with each other.

if you adopt these 2 who have never met before and it turns out they don't like each other, it could be a tough situation. there are a lot of kitties out there who are considered BONDED and shelters will prefer or even insist that they be adopted together.

good luck in your future role as a cat slave. it's so rewarding!