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Old 09-06-2005, 09:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Im worried my cat doesn't like me!

im really worried because, although i give him love and respect, my cat doesn't seem to love me back. hes only a kitten (7 months) he doesnt seem to want to know me.
i think he is only using me to get food and a home. the only time he purrs is when i give him food. he is not a lap cat, and i respect that all cats are not lap and cuddle cats, but i just wish he would share his love with me the way i share my love with him. does anyone have any tips on what i could do to make himn like me and spend time with me more?
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Old 09-06-2005, 10:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
ZAR
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Mmmm thats sad to hear, do you play with your cat alot, try and play more and I'm sure your cat will be happy and like you more, also let some else feed if your living with anyone then your cat won't just tink your the bringer of food. Anyway I hope this helps.

-HEYHWA
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Old 09-06-2005, 10:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
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My cat wasn't a kitten when I got her, she was an adult from a shelter home. It took her eight weeks to get used to me and my home. For those eight weeks she hardly came near me.

Perhaps you should give your cat some more time to get used to you? If the worst happens and she doesn't bond with you, I'm sure you could give her to someone else and get a new kitten. Don't mean that in a harsh way, but if you really feel she isn't loving, replace her. I'm sure other cat lovers would like to have her as a pet.
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Old 09-06-2005, 10:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cat_fan
My cat wasn't a kitten when I got her, she was an adult from a shelter home. It took her eight weeks to get used to me and my home. For those eight weeks she hardly came near me.

Perhaps you should give your cat some more time to get used to you? If the worst happens and she doesn't bond with you, I'm sure you could give her to someone else and get a new kitten. Don't mean that in a harsh way, but if you really feel she isn't loving, replace her. I'm sure other cat lovers would like to have her as a pet.
Yeah well we got Cortia when she was 3, and for about the first week she did not go near anybody, but 7 months seems a long time to me...

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Old 09-06-2005, 11:05 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Isn't that what we're for? Food and shelter? Sorry. I know how you feel actually. My Marcellus was like that...still is in many ways. Is this your first cat? Cats are so different, some are just all sweet and cuddly and some are just more aloof, doing their own thing. All my cats purr and love me up more when it's time to eat...that's just being "Cat." I think that's a good thing. Does your kitten show love in other ways? Does your kitten play with you, I'll bet he does or would.
How does your kitten react when you pet him, scratch under his chin. Some cats are very overt and you know they love you and some, you just have to be patient, looking for the little signs. Some cats are just naturally more quiet and aloof. Also, your kitten is still a kitten and playtime is still big in his book. Is your kitten neutured yet? If not, it could be that he's starting to mature and definitely may be thinking of other things, which may make him seem even more aloof as time progress. Get him nuetured if he's not.
Personally, I think your cat should think of you as the bringer of food...I see food as a bonding thing. That is how most animals are trained, with treats. My personal thoughts are to do scheduled feedings. My cats are very affectionate before feeding time, but I like that. Also, all 3 of my boys, two of which were not that affectionate as kitten,s are becoming more and more affectionate as they get older, they're 2 1/2 years old now. The other thing too, I say this kindly, cats often will retreat if they think we are hovering and expecting too much, cuddling, etc when they don't want it. Offer food and fun, with no expectations, and your kitten may just come love you up when you least expect it.
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Old 09-06-2005, 12:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think you might also try spending small amounts of scheduled time with your cat, brushing him and playing with him. Set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes or so a few times a day and spend that time working with him.
It might help with the bonding!
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Old 09-06-2005, 01:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Your kitty might not be that demonstrative, but I bet he loves you really. I was a bit disapointed when we first adopted Jimmy (aged 4), that he wasn't a lap-cat and rarely purred. We've had him nearly 2 years now and gradually have realised that he does show affection, but in his own inimitable way!
He doesn't much care to be stroked (unless he's really in the mood), but he loves to groom *us*. If you hold your hand out to him, chances are he'll give it a good old wash. He likes to be in the room with us, too. If he hears our voices he'll walk in and flop down on his side looking very relaxed - maybe in a corner away from us, but we know he just likes to be there. Soemtimes he'll lie down leaning against your leg.. but he'll never get on a lap. The other day Partner was doing some DIY in the kitchen, and Jimmy was just lying on one of the units like a lion with his front paws crossed, just watching him work. He looked really chilled.
You just have to look out for your own cat's signs of contentment. I bet he really does love you.

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Old 09-06-2005, 07:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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First, your cat is still pretty young and likely the first priority at that age is still playing. He might have more time for you if you join him in his favorite activities. Keep in mind that he is also unlikely to recognize that feeding and caring for him is work for you which is done out of love for him - don't hold it againt him, that's just how his world works. If you want an appreciative audience, you need a dog. I bet there are also times of day when he is more and less receptive to love and cuddles - it might just be the middle of the night or while you are out during the day. A couple of young male cats i know like to wake you up in the morning with kisses and only want petted at that time.
Second, if you do have specific expectations from a cat and want another one, try to adopt an older cat whose personality is already more apparent. Also, if possible, volunteer to foster the cat in your home before you adopt. You might go through a few fosters that aren't right for you before you find the one that is (but do keep in mind they take a while to adapt to new people and places - my current foster took two weeks to first climb on my lap, another didn't in the month i had her) but you will have a lot better chance of getting what you want.
Thinking about it, young cats go through phases, just like young people, and yours might just be a teenager right now...
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Old 09-07-2005, 02:03 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I have noticed, however, that my cats went through a period of adolenscence. Just like teenagers, they don't want to be around their guardians.

For my boys, the period was between seven months and thirteen months. Afterwards, they became docile and loving again.
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Old 09-07-2005, 04:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
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We recently adopted 2 litermates - almost 4 months old now - and their personalities are vastly different.

One is an attention hog and will let us hold him for minutes on end, he will sit on our laps and purr while we pet him, and he will even snuggle up to us in the bed.

The other kitty rarely comes up on anybody's lap, sits on the end of the bed if at all rather than snuggling up with us, and only likes to be petted occasionally. He will allow us to hold him for 30 seconds, max, then he is off to do something else. But he is generally in proximity to us - sitting on the other end of the couch or under the couch while we watch tv, on a chair under the kitchen table when someone is in the kitchen, sleeping on a chair in our bedroom at night.

Some cats are just more social than each other or social in different ways.
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