Re: Cat disklikes being touched
I feel your pain. I have a 7 year old female that I've had since she was 6 weeks old. She's been extremely spoiled and pampered her entire life, and she still behaves pretty much exactly as you described your cat. She's extremely skittish and hates to be touched, and will often try to bite anyone that touches her. But enjoys sitting next to me while I talk to her. I think all cats just have different personalties. While most are lovable, some cats just can't be bothered. And some are more proned to higher anxiety/stress.
First, if you haven't already... I'd have a vet look at her, just to make sure theres not a medical reason that she's sensitive to you touching those areas.
There are things you can try to calm her stress such as a Feliway Plug-In Diffuser, Feliway Spray, Composure and Rescue Remedy.
I tried the Feliway Diffuser and it did absolutely nothing for my cat, but others have had success with it. I just ordered the Feliway Spray which supposedly works better, so I'll be trying that next. I tried Rescue Remedy for the first time last night, and it definitely had a weird effect on my cat, kind of zoned her out.. but my cat has other issues at the moment too, so I can't really give an effective opinion on how it works just yet, without trying it some more. What works on one cat, won't necessarily work on another. So its all trial and error finding what will work for your cat.
Good luck with your kitty.