Please help, before I have to re-home her. - Page 2

Vivid Dawn · 11-27-2011, 11:24 PM

None of my cats (or even Xanthe, for that matter) are snuggly "lap cats". Paizly and Zinny are rescued ferals, and even though I have raised them since they were 6 weeks old, they refused to be held. I can pet them for a few moments, but then they shy away just out of reach to flop down and lay nearby.

Nebbie was dropped off at the rescue I work for, and I think she might have been abused by her previous family. It took me 6 months to even TOUCH her, and she still flinches sometimes if I move at her too fast.

They will all lay on the bed or couch, and in a rare instance Paizly will put her head on my shoulder while I lay quietly and completely still in bed. Otherwise, even though they are near me, they don't want to be touching me.
They make the whole "cats are aloof" thing true!

Div · 11-28-2011, 01:31 AM

The first kitty I got howls when I pick him up and try to cuddle him lol you'd swear I was torturing him! In fact my husband rushed into the room in the beginning screaming "OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?! DID YOU HURT HIM?!" BUT he loves to rub against my legs, sit at the edge of the counter top watching me, he likes to sleep by my head (sometimes), he likes his head scratched (sometimes) lol you get the drift. And our second edition is just a snuggle baby! He has what I like to call "Mommy time" - where he demands to be picked up and he buries his little face in my neck until he's satisfied. He's definitely my lap cat.

I know it might hurt your feelings that your cat bonded with someone else - but there's definitely a reason for it. Cats can't critically think - but they can feel. And I think Jax can feel the stress, over this situation. I would work on giving your kitty space, treats, and just relaxing.

I hope you don't have to rehome because of this.

wondercat · 11-28-2011, 10:19 AM

Cats have such odd personalities. When Cutie was alive Cleo (his sister) was not very social, she let me rub her head but hated being picked up and always slept on the couch and not with me. I let her be and understood her. Cutie passed away a few months ago and since then Cleo changed and lets me pick her up, she purrs, sleeps with me, and follows me like a puppy. When the kittens are playing and tearing up the house she just comes and sits on my lap. She loved Cutie, but I think there was an understanding between them, and somehow I was Cutie's property or something.

catbrb · 11-28-2011, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Div

The first kitty I got howls when I pick him up and try to cuddle him lol you'd swear I was torturing him! In fact my husband rushed into the room in the beginning screaming "OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?! DID YOU HURT HIM?!"

LOL too funny!

Abbie · 11-28-2011, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Div

The first kitty I got howls when I pick him up and try to cuddle him lol you'd swear I was torturing him! In fact my husband rushed into the room in the beginning screaming "OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?! DID YOU HURT HIM?!"

9 times out of 10 Mitzi does this too! My OH and I always joke that "it's terrible having a Mummy and Daddy who love you so much and just want cuddles, isn't it?!"

MowMow · 11-28-2011, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abbie

My OH and I always joke that "it's terrible having a Mummy and Daddy who love you so much and just want cuddles, isn't it?!"

That's about what I say to Shepherd Book when he screams about being kissed. "ooohhhhh nooooo, it's soooo awful to have a mommy who kisseess you and looovees youuuu!!!"

Carmel · 11-28-2011, 06:30 PM

My aunt's two/three year old cat is a lot like that. She doesn't like to be held or pet, will raise a paw to stop your hand, lightly bite or lick you when she holds your hand down. She is very inqusitive though, wants to be around people she knows (scared of strangers), will even sleep beside my aunt in bed, but never sit on her lap.

Some cats just aren't cuddley. She does get along better with your sister, and that's great, but overall I'd say it's just who she is. Maybe in time she'll become more interested in your attention, not all cats are lap cats from the start and some never become lap cats - some cats are even bred not to be lap cats. It may not be what you want out of a cat, I can understand that, but she is yours. Unless maybe your sister wants her (although she could have just been friendly to her since she was in a strange location with less human interaction throughout the day) I think you should keep her, she's your responsibility and hopefully (it seems) you do care about her, her quirks aside. A new house is bit likely to make her magically more sociable.

Cats&Plants · 11-29-2011, 01:14 AM

Kisa and Logan weren't terribly affectionate until they were 4. I wanted a lap cat and neither of them were interested so we decided to get one more kitten. Ended up with two because I couldn't decide on one. Guess who are our lap cats? Kisa & Logan lol

I know it's hard when you want to cuddle and love your kitty and they want nothing to do with you. Kisa is only affectionate on her terms and mostly with my husband. I tried desperately to get Kisa to love me, but she is definitely my husband's cat.

I would stop worrying about it and just enjoy the moments you do get to share. Play with her and love her from a distance. She sounds like a lovely cat, I wouldn't rehome her just because she doesn't cuddle and get all lovey with you. I find cats calm down around their fourth year and the bond grows between you. She's only two, still very young and active. I think of two year old cats like they are teenagers, they don't want affection, just food and space. She can sense the negative energy, you have to accept her for the cat she is and not try to force her.

11-27-2011, 11:24 PM	#11 (permalink)
Vivid Dawn Cat Addict Join Date: May 2010 Location: Utah - USA Posts: 1,509	None of my cats (or even Xanthe, for that matter) are snuggly "lap cats". Paizly and Zinny are rescued ferals, and even though I have raised them since they were 6 weeks old, they refused to be held. I can pet them for a few moments, but then they shy away just out of reach to flop down and lay nearby. Nebbie was dropped off at the rescue I work for, and I think she might have been abused by her previous family. It took me 6 months to even TOUCH her, and she still flinches sometimes if I move at her too fast. They will all lay on the bed or couch, and in a rare instance Paizly will put her head on my shoulder while I lay quietly and completely still in bed. Otherwise, even though they are near me, they don't want to be touching me. They make the whole "cats are aloof" thing true! __________________ MY PETS: Paizly Zinara Nebula - FERALS: Disco (MIA) Rune Tangelo Zazzle - PETSITTING: Xanthe

11-28-2011, 06:30 PM	#17 (permalink)
Carmel Cool Cat Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,209	My aunt's two/three year old cat is a lot like that. She doesn't like to be held or pet, will raise a paw to stop your hand, lightly bite or lick you when she holds your hand down. She is very inqusitive though, wants to be around people she knows (scared of strangers), will even sleep beside my aunt in bed, but never sit on her lap. Some cats just aren't cuddley. She does get along better with your sister, and that's great, but overall I'd say it's just who she is. Maybe in time she'll become more interested in your attention, not all cats are lap cats from the start and some never become lap cats - some cats are even bred not to be lap cats. It may not be what you want out of a cat, I can understand that, but she is yours. Unless maybe your sister wants her (although she could have just been friendly to her since she was in a strange location with less human interaction throughout the day) I think you should keep her, she's your responsibility and hopefully (it seems) you do care about her, her quirks aside. A new house is bit likely to make her magically more sociable. __________________ Last edited by Carmel; 11-28-2011 at 06:34 PM.

11-28-2011, 01:31 AM	#12 (permalink)
Div Jr. Cat Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 42	The first kitty I got howls when I pick him up and try to cuddle him lol you'd swear I was torturing him! In fact my husband rushed into the room in the beginning screaming "OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?! DID YOU HURT HIM?!" BUT he loves to rub against my legs, sit at the edge of the counter top watching me, he likes to sleep by my head (sometimes), he likes his head scratched (sometimes) lol you get the drift. And our second edition is just a snuggle baby! He has what I like to call "Mommy time" - where he demands to be picked up and he buries his little face in my neck until he's satisfied. He's definitely my lap cat. I know it might hurt your feelings that your cat bonded with someone else - but there's definitely a reason for it. Cats can't critically think - but they can feel. And I think Jax can feel the stress, over this situation. I would work on giving your kitty space, treats, and just relaxing. I hope you don't have to rehome because of this.

11-28-2011, 10:19 AM	#13 (permalink)
wondercat Cat Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: NYC Posts: 223	Cats have such odd personalities. When Cutie was alive Cleo (his sister) was not very social, she let me rub her head but hated being picked up and always slept on the couch and not with me. I let her be and understood her. Cutie passed away a few months ago and since then Cleo changed and lets me pick her up, she purrs, sleeps with me, and follows me like a puppy. When the kittens are playing and tearing up the house she just comes and sits on my lap. She loved Cutie, but I think there was an understanding between them, and somehow I was Cutie's property or something.

11-29-2011, 01:14 AM	#18 (permalink)
Cats&Plants Tom Cat Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Edmonton, AB Posts: 453	Kisa and Logan weren't terribly affectionate until they were 4. I wanted a lap cat and neither of them were interested so we decided to get one more kitten. Ended up with two because I couldn't decide on one. Guess who are our lap cats? Kisa & Logan lol I know it's hard when you want to cuddle and love your kitty and they want nothing to do with you. Kisa is only affectionate on her terms and mostly with my husband. I tried desperately to get Kisa to love me, but she is definitely my husband's cat. I would stop worrying about it and just enjoy the moments you do get to share. Play with her and love her from a distance. She sounds like a lovely cat, I wouldn't rehome her just because she doesn't cuddle and get all lovey with you. I find cats calm down around their fourth year and the bond grows between you. She's only two, still very young and active. I think of two year old cats like they are teenagers, they don't want affection, just food and space. She can sense the negative energy, you have to accept her for the cat she is and not try to force her.

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