Need advice on a very scared adopted kitty

[dweamgoil]

Originally Posted by mimitabby

When we tame wild kittens we put them somewhere where we can always reach them. I think your cat was probably NOT abused, more like, she's just not socialized with people.
Continue petting her under the bed. Give her treats when you pet her. Find something she thinks is irresistible (you might have to experiment). Go in there and read, talk, do your exercises, turn a radio on (leave it on all day when you're not around). She has to get used to you.

I like this a lot and think it works well. Also try putting the treats about 3 feet away from you while you continue reading your book, and decrease the distance each time you go in. Eventually, she will need to get them from right next to you. Let her come and get them when she feels like it. She will associate the treats with you and that good things happen when she approaches you.

It just requires patience, but they do learn to trust you bit by bit.

[Lyndzo]

I appreciate everyone's advice. I guess patience is what it will take. She was starting to come around more, but on the weekend we clipped her nails and she went back a few steps. She is starting to come out of it a bit with me, but wants nothing to do with my fianceé. Every night he brings her treats, so I'm hoping that will help.

[Lyndzo]

I wanted to give an update on Penny, to see what everyone thinks.

I think she is slowly starting to get better. She allows both my fianceé and I to pet her while she's under the bed. She purrs almost instantly. She definitely favours me more still, she loves when I rub her belly. She will even stand up and re-position so that I can rub the other side of her belly.

In the mornings before breakfast, she comes right up to me and rubs against my leg. She lets me pick her up for a hug before I feed her. BUT after I feed her she stops doing that and doesn't come too close. The only other time I can get that close is when I feed her dinner. But I have noticed that in the evening when I get home if I walk by her room, she will come out to the doorway to watch me.

Aside from petting under the bed, she still runs from my fianceé. I think she has progressed a little bit, what do you think? Do you think she could ever fully come out of being scared?

[Lyndzo]

Also, a new picture of her.

[Alpaca]

Good progress and she's very cute!

Well, like I said b4, don't have any expectations and it'll be good. Like don't have it in your head 'oh no, she's been with me for x amount of time and she's still scared' every time u see her. Cats are good at reading ppl. Just tell your fiancee to couple the treats with the attitude if you still would like to use treats. Whenever I see Jack and he's looking at me, I give him a big smile (closed mouth since seeing the teeth could be seen as a sign of confrontation) and say 'Hi Jack, whatcha doin'?'. He knows I'm happy to see him and very often, he'll meow in response and come over for a cheek rub.

I never used treats to get Jack to come around though. I find if you use treats, then the pet gets so used to them, they'll be demanding them every time they see you. I spent a lot of time sitting with him, reading and talking with him any chance I got. I thought if I just sat in silence it would be intimidating. I'd talk like I was talking to a friend or a 5 yr old child.

My Cap'n Jack has been with me for about a year and a couple of months. Even now, he's still skittish and will still get scared with certain things. My father largely ignores him and it's only been recently that he's started to not be scared of my father. It used to be whenever my father came into the room, he would bolt first and ask questions later. I think Jack was scared about the ignoring because he couldn't tell if my father was friend or foe and he could probably read that my father doesn't particularly like him. My father likes Miu better and Miu totally knows. Whenever he comes home, she rolls on the floor affectionately to get his attention.

Anyways, good luck! Every cat is different, you'll have to try a variety of things to see what works!

[CJinCA]

good progress! I noticed Lickorish was friendly before breakfast but wanted to be left alone afterwards, at least for awhile, so we just let her be. It took about 3 months before she would stay in the same room with hubbie. Still gets a little nervous around him sometimes, but its a work in progress. Its partly being patient with the cat and partly training the SO. Hubby was inadvertently doing all the things that make a skittish cat nervous, so we had to work on him too Just keep on spending time with her, pet her when she lets you, and play with her (dangle toys are irristable to Lickorish, even when she is afraid of the person holding it.

[Lyndzo]

Thanks again for everyone's advice! I am just letting her do her thing.

Now she is following me around morning AND night and rubbing against my leg. I am loving it but not pressuring her. I'm just letting her get comfortable.

[JillianS]

leg rubbing! She loves you Different cats show it in different ways-even if they aren't scared. My Libby is not a lap cat (don't think she's ever sat in my lap), and I can't hold her for very long, but she's very affectionate in other ways (leg rubs, comes up to me when I'm sitting on the couch, looking for some pets before she goes to sit down, and even though she isn't 'on top of me" like some cats, she does like to always be in whatever room I'm in.

it'lll come