Kitten is a bit play aggressive, rowdy and won't bond with SO. - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-23-2012, 12:34 AM Thread Starter
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Kitten is a bit play aggressive, rowdy and won't bond with SO.

Three weeks ago, we adopted a kitten named Peanut from a so-called rescue organization. Since then, Peanut's been quite the character. When he's not jumping all over our other cat, Chinchilla, he's running all over the place and being play aggressive. Sometimes he appears to throw tantrums where he literally kicks himself in the face. It's a bit disturbing to watch. I've looked up various ways to discourage bad behavior, but none seem to work. He likes water, so spraying him doesn't work. I've tried blowing in his face and telling him NO. It gets his attention, but he learns nothing from it. I've tried scruffing him, but he doesn't settle down at all. Are there any other ways I can teach him right from wrong? Is there a way to make him understand that Chinchilla doesn't want to play and that she is the main cat of the house? We can't separate them because we live in the equivalent of a one-room apartment.

Also, he doesn't seem to like my SO too much. We adopted him together, so Peanut saw and was held by both of us, but he seems to have bonded to me. When I leave our living area, Peanut kicks off and acts out of control. My SO tries to get him to calm down, but he won't listen and doesn't want my SO near him whatsoever. He bites him and runs away. I looked up ways to bond and my SO has been feeding Peanut and petting him and giving him treats and playing with him, but it doesn't seem to help. SO is upset that Peanut won't bond to him and it makes me feel guilty about the bond I already have. Are there other ways to get a bond going or is it just a matter of waiting it out?
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-23-2012, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted by LadyMiseryAli View Post
Three weeks ago, we adopted a kitten named Peanut from a so-called rescue organization. Since then, Peanut's been quite the character. When he's not jumping all over our other cat, Chinchilla, he's running all over the place and being play aggressive. Sometimes he appears to throw tantrums where he literally kicks himself in the face. It's a bit disturbing to watch. I've looked up various ways to discourage bad behavior, but none seem to work. He likes water, so spraying him doesn't work. I've tried blowing in his face and telling him NO. It gets his attention, but he learns nothing from it. I've tried scruffing him, but he doesn't settle down at all. Are there any other ways I can teach him right from wrong? Is there a way to make him understand that Chinchilla doesn't want to play and that she is the main cat of the house? We can't separate them because we live in the equivalent of a one-room apartment.

Also, he doesn't seem to like my SO too much. We adopted him together, so Peanut saw and was held by both of us, but he seems to have bonded to me. When I leave our living area, Peanut kicks off and acts out of control. My SO tries to get him to calm down, but he won't listen and doesn't want my SO near him whatsoever. He bites him and runs away. I looked up ways to bond and my SO has been feeding Peanut and petting him and giving him treats and playing with him, but it doesn't seem to help. SO is upset that Peanut won't bond to him and it makes me feel guilty about the bond I already have. Are there other ways to get a bond going or is it just a matter of waiting it out?
How old is Peanut? How old he is will have a direct effect on how you can correct his behavior.

You say you've tried using a few methods to correct his 'bad' behaviors...if he doesn't know they are 'bad' or not allowed is it fair to punish him? IMO it's not, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with him being naughty, it just means you change the way you deal with it when he is.

As far as teaching him right from wrong...um no. You can't really teach him that. He will never think it is 'wrong' to steal food, jump on the other cat, or claw things. He CAN learn that it isn't allowed. It sounds like the same thing, but there's a BIG difference.
If you start thinking he 'knows he is wrong' then you are more likely to react harshly. In reality the things he is doing are normal kitten things. They are what his instincts tell him to do, and he will never see them as being 'wrong' because cat's simply don't think that way.

I wrote a post a while ago about how to teach kittens good manners. You can find it here: Part 1 Part 2


Becky and the cats: Jitzu (11), Torri (9), Doran (8 ), and Muffin (8 )
The boys at 8 - not lol
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-23-2012, 01:31 PM
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As for bonding, grooming has always worked for me, have SO gently brush kitty but on as much as kitty will tolerate.
What toy is SO using with the kitten?
Feather teaser have always worked for me.
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-23-2012, 06:29 PM Thread Starter
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Peanut is almost 4 months old. He does kind of listen when I tell him, in a firm and low voice "no", but he will shortly go back to biting at me or grabbing my arm. With Chinchilla, he doesn't get her cues that she doesn't want to play and believe me, she makes it quite clear to him by growling or giving him a bap on the head. We can try time-outs. We put him in the kennel during bed-time as to avoid getting injured because he attacks limbs under the blankets and has jumped on my SO's head.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-23-2012, 06:47 PM
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When he doesn't listen to you telling him no then just walk away. NO petting, no carrying him to his time out place. Just no interaction. SOon he'll learn that if you say ouch or NO and he continues then play time stops and there's no more fun to be had.

As for the other cat... I had to let MOwMOw deal with Book himself. When MowMOw got fed up enough he ripped into Book like a monkey on a cupcake.... as long as there was no blood I let the fur fly and they've seemed to work it out. Saturday was first time in a few months that MOwMow had to flip out and do more than hiss and howl at the kid.

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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-23-2012, 11:00 PM Thread Starter
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He got a time-out just a few minutes ago because he seemed to be mounting Chinchilla and it was really bothering her. The rescue place we got him from said he was neutered. Do neutered kittens try to mount females, even though their testes are not working? Chinchilla is spayed too, so she's not in heat or anything.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-27-2012, 07:22 PM Thread Starter
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Is he not getting the message?

So yea, Peanut is still bothering Chinchilla. He is still constantly trying to jump on her and is still attacking her tail and back end. Chinchilla growls at him every time and gives him that angry stare and even gives him a smack, but it's like Peanut either doesn't get it or just isn't listening to her. It's starting to get stressful for me and my fiance because we just want them to get along already.

How do we deal with this, or is it up to Chinchilla to make it clear that she does not wish to be played with? I don't need either of them getting injured.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-27-2012, 11:50 PM
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At 4 mos. old, Peanut is just starting into a very active playful, bratty, teenage phase. Chincilla at 11yrs. is not amused, and finds him a pest and likely just wants to snooze in the sun, as she's now in her senior years. If you have a water gun and are good with it. When Peanut jumps on Chinchilla try and squirt it at his backside. He shouldn't see that you have done this, but he may be startled enough to think that Chinchilla is doing it and leave her alone. If that doesn't work, you could try clicker training with him, and there are lots of suggestions and demos on You Tube, or distract him with a toy. If she's really being upset with him, and she may be as he looks to be a big for a 4 mo. old and will likely be bigger and stronger as he grows, I would separate them in different rooms, if you cannot be there to supervise them. It's not fair for a senior cat to be harassed constantly by a bratty kitty that may be bigger than she is. Let her discipline him as well, but he may be one of these kitties that won't back off when she hisses, growls or swats at him, but it stimulates him to attack even more. He's likely not mean, just being rowdy as kitties are at his age and up to a year or so, but I think you will have to try to not let him bother her too much as it will stress her too much, and usually too much of that leads to health or behavior problems. Good luck!
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