So, we have had 2 (or sometimes 3) cats for the past 20 years. When one of our cats got old and close to the "Rainbow Bridge" we typically adopted a kitten as a companion for the remaining cat. We most recently had Milo (12 yrs. old) and Toby (3 yrs. old). Milo slept all day as older cats do, and Toby followed us around the house, talked to us and begged for attention. He occasionally jumped on Milo or groomed him, but there wasn't much interaction. Milo recently passed away and it seems as if Toby has increased his need for attention.
We are wondering if he is feeling the need for a companion or if he is just using the fact that Milo is no longer around to gain more of our attention. He is at our feet constantly and frequently cries for attention. Does anyone think that adopting a second cat my give him something else to focus his attention on or might we end up with two cats that follow us around and demand attention? We are more than happy to give Toby the attention he needs, but we don't want him to be lonely when we are at work.
I will say that it is nice just to have one cat to take care of after all these years. We just want our Toby to be happy!
dseag, I'd guess that Toby is missing Milo, even if they weren't close, and that he needs some reassurance, hence his need for more attention. I had the same situation after Margaux passed away. Celia was never close to her in the 13 years they lived together, but Margaux's absence really upset her. She would stare out the window for hours, meow at me as if I could bring her back, and just needed (still does!) so much attention from me.
Whether or not getting a second cat is the right thing to do is one of those questions that's impossible to answer. I would probably wait a little bit to try to get a better sense from Toby about what he wants. He's still young and might appreciate having a companion. On the other hand, since Toby is a cat who likes getting a lot of attention, he might really enjoy having you all to himself. It would depend a lot on the new cat's personality. If the new cat were very independent, more like Milo than Toby, it could be a good fit.
In my situation, after several months of looking for and not finding the right kitty companion for Celia, I decided it was ultimately better for Celia to be lonely than to be stressed by a new cat. But Celia was already 14.5 years old at the time. At Toby's age, he might adapt better to a new cat. Adult cats will also accept kittens more easily than other adult cats.
You might consider trying a foster-to-adopt program to see how things go?
It sounds to me that Toby is missing his buddy Milo, even tho he wasn't that close to him. Toby does sound like a needy cat that craves attention, so that likely is not going to change. Another cat/kitten would definitely draw off some of the attention he's demanding from you, and provide companionship for him while you're at work. I also like the idea of a foster kitten which should be more socialized to other cats and people....preferably an older one over 4 months old who will be showing what type of personality it has. I suggest a female with a laid back personality, since generally speaking they aren't quite as demanding of attention as males are. Some people don't believe that the color of the cat has any impact on its personality, but I beg to differ. I would steer clear of torties and calicos, which can be dominant and bossy. Creams, greys,blacks and brown tabbies, tend to be more laid back and get along with other cats. Of course cats are still individuals and there are always exceptions!
Thank you for your input! We are giving Toby non-stop attention, but I think a young, socialized foster cat is in our future!
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