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Having trouble introducing new cat

1K views 4 replies 2 participants last post by  catloverami 
#1 ·
Hello,

I had 3 resident cats (two males, and one female, all ~6-8 years of age, all fixed) who are all happy and healthy. I lost my black cat last year and after waiting a bit, I went to the humane society and brought a healthy ~1 year old neutered male home. I kept him in the bathroom for a week so everyone could get used to smells on either side of the door. He could peep under the door and they could see him and vice versa. I let him out to another room so I could spend independent time with him and the would see him when he was moved.

Yesterday I started letting him in a large room so the others could come meet him face-to-face. Things were tense for the others, but not for the new kitty as he just played happily. When my female would try to come over to him, he would spook her and she would take off. He would then run and bite her. I don't feel that he is trying to fight, as she would make the first move and he seemed to react when he was startled. This has happened a few times now.

I know this takes a bit and I just started yesterday, but I just don't know what to do when he goes after her. I would make sure she is ok then put him back in the bathroom. Should there be something else I'm doing? I just don't want to make it worse.

Thank you!
 
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#2 ·
When should I accept it's not a good fit?

I adopted a ~1y/o neutered male from the humane society. He's loving, good with the dogs, and respects bondaries with 2 of my 3 cats - which is my problem. He goes after and attacks my ~7y/o spayed female. The others (both neutered 8 y/o males) will keep their distance still and he respects them. The female will hiss, run and urinate everywhere and he will chase her and bite her if he can, and will lead to a full cat fight at times.

I introduced them slowly (1 week isolation, 1 week swap spaces for a bit, 1 week feed together with boundaries, 1 week together but watched) and it was as to be expected. I have had the pheromone diffuser on. I play with him to burn energy. I called the HS and they said to regress one week and keep him on a long lead when I could watch them (several hours a day) and isolated otherwise. I have tried a spray bottle to facilitate her standing up for herself, but he still goes after her still after about 7 weeks now.

She's the only one that throws a fit and bolts. I thought it was mostly playful and curiosity, but he will bite her so I don't think it's playful at all. She is afraid of him now, so trying to get them together is just awful.

I know that introducing cats takes time and believe me, I have done everything I can thing of and spend hours a day working at this. I don't want to "give up" but I know if this creates an unhappy home it's not good for anyone. He's a wonderful cat to everyone except the one female.

This breaks and shatters my heart, but when do I accept it won't work out? I'm happy to try any tips!! I love the little guy. Thank you!!
 
#3 · (Edited)
Go back to square one....you're rushing it and expecting good results too soon. A lot also depends on a cat's upbringing as well. If the kitten is well socialized, as well as your girl girl, with other cats and people, i.e. left with its momacat and litter mates until 12 weeks of age, it learned good cat manners, as this is a crucial socialization period from 5 to 12 weeks for cats when they learn to control their bite and claws and to read other cats' body language. If your girl missed out on this phase it may take longer, or she may just get to the point where she can tolerate this new boy without being aggressive.
Here are some good tips from Jackson Galaxy.
Cat-to-Cat Introductions | Little Big Cat
 
#4 ·
I'm losing my mind, my cats still won't get along...

My new male cat (~1.5 years, neutered male) gets along with my existing males. He doesn't like my female. I have worked with them for over 3 months now. They tolerate each other, but he waits at the bottom of the stairs for her to come down to chase her back up. The litter boxes and food are downstairs (I have several litter boxes, but they only use the litter robot. I have tried adding and adding, they refuse). I will isolate him so she has roam, but he does it when he can.

He has started peeing on the bed you have to pass to get to the room with the preferred litter box. After months of trying to get them to be ok with each other, he is peeing/marking now. He was fixed last December and I did get a urine sample tested and he's healthy, so I know it's behavioral. I'm at my wits end. Is there hope? I can't have the urine in the house, and if I remove the bedding I'm afraid he'll choose a place that is harder for me to access.

Is there a point where I should realize it won't work? I don't want to give up, but I feel like I'm making her miserable by trying.

Thank you.
 
#5 · (Edited)
At 1.5 yrs. your black boy is at the age where if he were a feral cat, he would be staking our his territory....that's what all the urine marking is about now. He seems very fixated on your female to make her life a misery. I had a situation somewhat like yours where one of my neutered males detested a female after she attacked him from getting too close to her first litter of kittens. He constantly attacked her after that, and she learned to keep a low profile, and tried to avoid him. He was very jealous of her, and would attack if I talked to her, petted her or paid any attention to her. I had to give her loving out of sight and sound of him. This went on for many years; finally the male died at 13 y.o. and the next day she was a different cat---jumping in my lap, seeking attention, and was so happy the male was no longer around to antagonize her. She died at 16 yrs., and in retrospect, I should have re-homed one of them, as she had many years of misery with him. Will your boy change his opinion about your girl cat? Hard to say, but you can't make a cat like another one and it doesn't seem like he will change his mind. A cat that urinates while being attacked is showing a lot of fear, so it's not likely she will ever stand up to your boy. This constant stalking and fighting is very stressful for you and especially your girl cat. So you may need to consider to re-home one of them, more than likely the girl, since your boy gets on well with your other two boys. Since she is a timid cat, a home where she's the only cat would likely be best for her. All the best!
 
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