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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 08:21 AM Thread Starter
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desperate fur mom - cat introduction problems

Hey guys new here!

Adopted a male cat from the shelter about a year ago. Decided to adopt another one a week ago. Things are not going so well for our new little girl.

I thought maybe someone with more experience could give us some advice on how to deal with this situation.


I know you probably get allot of questions regarding cat behavior and how to manage certain situations. But I am still hoping you are able to answer some of mine regarding 2 adopted younger cats.

We adopted a lovely boy from the shelter 9 months ago. Salem was 9 weeks at the time. He turned from a timid shy kitten into a little playful energetic rascal that tests our patients and our limits constantly. he is a real goof.

We decided to adopt another cat from the same shelter now that he is still young. Rosie was completely the opposite when we saw her at the shelter. outgoing, playful, adventurous, just turned 6 months ( but she is a tiny thing and he is huge)

We started out slow, giving her one room to explore. Feeding them on each side of a closed door for 2 days. Then letting her sleep in the bathroom to get comfortable somewhere else. On day three we started to trade placed for 1 hour, so she could explore the living room and they could both get used to scents.

day 4 we introduced them. He hissed and prowled at her. she did not give him any of her attention too busy exploring things. But the next day he still prowled her and would hunt her. She got scared...and started hissing at him.....and charging him! she smacked him in the face and he went on his back but did not do anything back.
she continued to charge him and he would back up. But he would not leave her alone, still prowling and cornering her.

We decided to take things slow again and kept them separated for 2 days again, feeding them with the door slightly open so they could see each other. they would eat without hissing, and even play with toys through the door together. But the moment he was too rough again and went for her paw really hard she started hissing again because he was being very harsh and predator like. even at feeding time she would hiss.

We decided that she felt confident enough now to explore the living room and him in it with us around.
She gave him no room for attacks, even though he tried every time. He creeps up from behind stalking her and then pounces her like she is prey. He does not hurt her very bad, because she fights him off immediately with a fierce passion and it throws him off big time. he will back off instantly. she stares him down and hisses until he retreats.

He is meowing at us, making funny frustrated noises, making gunny purr noises that sound like what is this???? trying to sniff her. She stared him down a couple of times tonight and he will lay down. She will find a higher place and he will try to dominate her but she won't let him. he will then lie below the higher place. attempting to get back up without success.

But the moment she runs to somewhere to play he hunts her from behind again and sometimes really hard. She still does not back down and hisses and bats him. She even hisses at us when we touch her. she will look at us and hiss too. she is so unsure. She is very scared, but has chosen the offensive side.

Next day. He won't leave her alone. She tries to explore, but he follows her around and corners her. Now he has started to attack her face on. he slams both his paws as hard as possible. She fights back and growls, and tries to get away but he won't let her. even when she is in her own room on the bed he attacks her until she is in a corner. He attacks hard, I saw some fur fly.......I separate them, closing her door to give her space.

I take it slow again and leave her in her own room for a couple of days and do the rotation thing again. But the moment she sees him she hisses and tells him to back off, and he will torment her and attack her without pause.

This has been going on for a week. It is so stressful for Rosie she is such a lovely playful and sweet natured cat.

What can I do to make him stop hurting her and attacking her. we tried feeding them together, proper introduction through closed doors with food on each side, playing with things together underneath the door. then playing together in one room. then giving them alone time, and switching rooms. praising them when things are good. he always goes for her. and not in a playful way. she is so sick of being tormented.

Last edited by marie73; 04-18-2017 at 11:07 AM. Reason: language
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 04:06 PM
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Wow, you kind of rushed the introductions, common mistake. They can sometimes take a few weeks. Here's a great link, it's not too late to start over. Good luck! I've used baby gates, too (3 stacked on one another), so they can see each other and not have contact.

Cat-to-Cat Introductions ? Jackson Galaxy

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

Always in my heart, my lovely Cinderella, running free at the Bridge.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 11:25 PM
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Yes I would just give it some more time. It took almost 2 months for my older cats to stop hissing at the new additions and now they get along pretty good. I even caught them cuddling today, it was super cute.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 11:55 AM
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A comment and a question. First as others have said this happened too fast. 3-6 weeks at least is required. You adopted your first cat at a young age, 9 weeks is too little to have learned how to behave with other cats. 12-14 weeks is far better. That rascal that tested your patience would have learned how to behave if he remained with the litter longer and had some correction from Mom. The question is did you have the male neutered?

Your new cat sound like she was better prepared to be social with other animals at 6 months of age. Your big guy just doesn't know and apparently cannot speak cat very well. Time is your friend here but he may never learn sneaking up on the new cat is a bad idea.

Two examples I have had, first I brought in a new male about 1 year old and introduced him to a 7 year old female. We went too fast, she wasn't interested even though his method of introduction was to walk up to her, flop down and raise a paw gently. They tolerate each other.

Second example, brought a 12 week old kitten into the house last summer. The two above realized something was different immediately. They were going to find and kill the intruder. Introductions took 4 weeks, the male and new kitten adore each other now, the old queen still cannot be bothered. Patience, time and supervision are key.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 04:18 PM Thread Starter
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He was a rescue, his mom was feral and the other kittens where much more social and got adopted at the shelter first. He was so scared of humans he hissed without sound, no one seemed to want him so we took him in. It took 3 weeks before he finally left his space underneath the couch. We really had to teach him not to bite us, because he was always testing his limits. he still does, but with us he knows his place. He has become a very social but naughty cat

She was found all alone somewhere in the countryside, she was very sick ( worms, fleas, ear-mites, gingivitis,upper respiratory disease etc) but somehow she was very good with other cats and humans.

He is neutered! she will be fixed april 25th. I am still keeping them separate. Which is stressful for my other cat. When she gets to roam around in the house we place him in our bedroom and he starts crying to get out.

The gate seemed like a good idea but I know Salem will just climb over it since it does not seal the top of the door opening, and rosie is a crazy climber so i doubt that she will stay put when she realizes she can climb the gates. She already does it with the gate we put up for our daughter in the kitchen.

When will be a good time to start introducing them again and how do I exactly approach this? Playing together doesn't work, even when we have 2 identical toys he wants hers, when we switch he just focuses on hers again and roughly takes it from her and it makes her hiss. which makes him even more angry. He can't play nice. The only time they played nice was at the sink when i ran the faucet, they were both so playful and he eventually jumped off and went to do something else.

They can be so great together. she is super playful. She seemed very interested in him from the start, So i Know they could have great chemistry. But not if he does not learn how to behave with her.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-26-2017, 08:18 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
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Unhappy cat aggressive towards new cat and now me!

I opened up a topic about the conflict between my 1 year old male cat 2 weeks ago ( neutered) and my new 6 month old female cat ( spayed). they first nose bump, no aggression just smelling, but the moment she walks off he jumps her and attacks her and will not leave her alone.

following the advice everyone gave me here I separated them for a whole week and a half again rotating them every 4 hours to a different living space and letting them eat with a closed door in between. Not ever seeing each other. Only smelling ( putting her blanket where he sleeps etc) Now I have bought 3 baby gates to close off the doorway so they can see each other.

She starts out in the big room on one side and he has the entire house. He does not hiss or growl at her, but he is very aggressive and rough. She tries to play nice and friendly through the gate but he just grabs on to her when he gets the chance and bites her hard. He is obsessed with sitting at the gate trying to stare her down. She hisses at him when he gets aggressive and yelps when he hurts her. He does not seem to care about the message she is sending. every time he hears her meow he stalks over there and tries to hurt her. but she also keeps trying to play with him, even when she hisses and growls when he gets mean.

We have put him on the other side of the gate now which is the smaller room, and he seems to have settled down more on that side. he just lies in front of the gate with big angry dark pupils. still no hissing and growling. she runs by and is having a blast playing in the entire house. every now and then she taunts him and runs by the gate lol he seems to have stopped hissing at him and he still tries to get at her the moment he gets a chance but is less dominant in hiss attempts.

The problem is with him being on the house side....he bit me! It was a pretty hard bite and he ran off because he knew that he would only get one try before he got into trouble. He has always been nippy, but we trained him not to bite hands and feet and definitely no faces. he knows the boundaries very well. He knows I am the boss and he is not allowed to show aggression towards me or other family members. he has always been very good with these boundaries.

He did it when I was filming their interaction so I could show you their behavior, I also filmed the part where he bit me and took off. I would like to know your opinion on what his behavior means.

Last edited by marie73; 04-26-2017 at 08:24 PM. Reason: video removed; youtube links not allowed
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