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Started OK, now not so good

921 views 6 replies 3 participants last post by  bluemilk 
#1 ·
Hi!

The relationship between my two new adoptees is going downhill.

Three weeks ago I adopted a 4-year-old male and a 9-year-old female. I introduced them gradually, and now they have free run of the house. Even so, they each have their own feeding dishes and litter box.

They seemed to start out on good terms, but it looks like the female is trying to dominate. They mostly avoid each other, but there are occasional angry swats. Meanwhile, the male is acting more stressed out, and he hides a lot more than he used to.

To complicate matters:
  • I have a friend staying over. She's sleeping on a sofabed in the living room. The cats don't seem to mind her, but I think it's adding to the stress.
  • The house is small: 2 Bd 1 B with large living and dining room.
  • We've had a heat wave: A week of temperatures over 100 degrees
  • I'm going back to work on Monday 6/26, so I'll be spending less time at home.

What I should do? I could separate them again. I have baby gates I can put up between the living room and the kitchen. That causes a hassle for me!

Any ideas?
 
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#2 ·
If your friend is staying over while you go back to work, I would just leave things as they are. All the things you mentioned...a visitor, older female cat becoming more aggressive, heat wave are all stressors, so it's not surprising things have gone somewhat downhill in their relationship. If your friend is not going to be at your home while you're at work, then I would separate them, just to give them a rest from the last few days and chance to really relax. Get some good catnip, fresh if you can find some, or the dried stuff at a pet store and before you leave rub lots of catnip on their stuffed toys, or even a piece of cloth if you don't have the other. Catnip is excellent at as a relaxant (tho some cats are not attracted to it) --good for people too, as a tea! Get up earlier on Monday morning, so that you can give the cats a 15 min./cat or so good workout in their own rooms with an interactive toy, such as "Da Bird". Get them really running around and jumping off and on furniture. Let them catch the bird occasionally, then at the end of the play sessions feed them their morning meal separately in their own rooms. Do a similar exercise session in the evening before you go to bed. Do this for another day or so with them separately, but then then do the same ritual with them together in the evenings, and then give them treats or a meal after the session. The goal is to make them associate being together and getting played with and treats as "fun time". Only feed them "treats" (store bought, or little pieces of chicken or cheese) when they are behaving well together, and at no other time. Praise them verbally in a singsong voice that they're "good kitties". Observe your girl closely, and if she looks very fixated or about to go after your boy, do a distraction.....throw a toy/small paper ball, etc. near her or make a "pssst pssst" sound with your mouth. You can train her to come to you with that sound, if you do it and then offer her a treat.....repeat it until she "gets it" that you want her to come to you. It's often natural for a female to "dominate" a male, in my experience especially if she's a tortie or calico, older than the male, or she naturally has a more forceful personality. Hope some of these suggestions will be helpful....all the best!
 
#5 ·
Sorry to hear that....do you keep clip your cats claws every 2 wks. or so? With this warm weather they may need to be clipped more often. Just clip the sharp tips of, and make sure you don't clip into the "quick" (vein in claw) or you will have a very difficult time clipping afterwards. Have your treats ready, and feed them immediately when you've finished the nail clipping.

You may have to keep them separate when you're not there, and only let them together when you can supervise them. It's hard living with a bully-cat, because I have one here too. Fortunately, Fitty's never savaged Zuba to the extent that he's had a hard bite or scratch that punctured the skin badly, (scratched but heals quickly) so have not had to make a vet trip for stitches or antibiotics. It is disruptive though, and Fitty sometimes has to sleep in another room; but most of the time they're cuddle and grooming buddies. Zuba does not fight back too much, as he's found if he does that just makes Fitty want to attack even more. Fitty is still in his adolescent stage and will be 2 y.o. this Tues., but he is starting to melllow out a bit lately. In your case you have a dominant female who is into her senior years. Liklely she will mellow out in a few more years. Often times in your case you need to pay more attention to her (talking sweetly, petting, grooming---anything she really enjoys), and limiting your attention and male to "private" sessions in another room out of her hearing with radio or TV on. Often will bully cats, it's a jealousy issue....they just can't tolerate seeing another get getting attention. Thanks for the update and keep us posted on any progress or not. Sometimes, cat relationships can't be fixed, and then you're faced with having to decide to keep one and re-home the other.
 
#6 ·
Another thing you can try is Feliway (I haven't used it personally) some posters have had it make a difference, others not. Also Bach's Rescue Remedy, a few drops in her drinking water, may make her feel less like bullying.
 
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