The vet was pretty much all bad news.
He believes this is all neurological. There are various causes in the 1) treatable with a lot of time 2) supportable but not curable and 3) quickly debilitating catigories. With #3 she will probably not live much longer, and so all my votes are against that one. When I told my mom I was hoping for liver/kidney problems she thought I was crazy.
He seemed to lean toward #2 option of momma cat got sick while she was pregnant and it damaged her cerebellum, which is in charge of balance/movement etc. This doesn't start showing until the kitten develops and gets older, but shows before the kitten is fully grown, pretty much at exactly her age. There is no knowing at which point it will stop getting worse, she may stay just how she is, or may continue until she can't walk.
At the exam he said his biggest worry was her ears, they twitch/wiggle constantly. She's always done that, as far as I can remember, and he says that is a sign of epilepsy and the cerebellum problem. She may be having mini-siezures. The ears are like a muscle tick she can't control. I wonder if she didn't have a seizure in the litter box and thats why she is so scared of them.
But on the hopeful side (kinda) it could be a liver/kidney malfunction has led to a build up of toxins, which would present with all these symptoms. Her kidneys are abnormally small. This is treatable with supportive drugs/diet/lifestyle but treatable. Also toxoplasmosis can cause brain/spinal cord lesions that also present like this, and that's treatable too.
The worst option (as far as I am conserned) is FIP, but he didn't seem to be as concerned about that. But it is completely untreatable and she will just continue to get worse quickly. Plus I have other cats who all live with her, so I worry about them now. He didn't think I needed to worry about everyone else getting it, and didn't seem too worried that's what was wrong but is testing for it. Or he was just trying to keep me from bawling hysterically in his office.
He did a complete blood work up, but I won't have the results till next week. They tested for all of the above plus a lot of other things. They gave her fluids (she is my furry water ballon now), and she is much perkier after that. He thinks the litter box thing is neurological, she can't control where/when she goes. She can come to me because she knows she has to go, but she may just be walking along and pee and not be able to control it. Tonight she fell and just started peeing before she could get back up. She peed all over herself, and was so upset about it. I know she would never do that if she had any control over it. So praying the bloodwork comes back kidney/liver problems or that she would atleast not get worse.