Am I silly?
I'd like to first say that I am a new mother. My daughter is 9 weeks today.
Flash back to July 4, 2005. I used to work for a vet and a stray cat have birth to two kittens. I walked in, held her and in that moment I knew she was mine. I actually said, "you're mine." I sang to her, helped her walk, talked to her and loved her like she was my baby.
Unfortunately, when I took her to get spayed, the tech tried to take her blood incorrectly and too many times...she ended up gassing her and she never woke up. He was 6 months and a day. I was heart broken and it took about five years to not cry on the day she died.
Now...go back to January 17, 5 days before my birthday. I absolutely hate my birthday because my dad almost passed away when I was 11 on my birthday. I get very worried of losing people close to me.
I had a cat, his name was Indy. He was 4 years old and he was my baby boy. I had him since he was 6 months.
About 9pm, January 17, I said goodnight, turned to walk away and he reached for me, fell over, convulsed, I held him and he took his las breath. We drove to the emergency vet and they said he may have had a heart attack an I refused to believe that because that is what almost took my father when I was 11. We really don't know what happened to him.
I keep his picture on my phone and around me at all times. I'm fearing January 17th next month. Am I silly to be this upset over his loss?! I feel like I am and don't know what I will do when that day comes. At least my newborn will distract me...