Not enough jokes. - Page 18

cinderflower · 06-30-2012, 06:31 PM

Inner Peace:

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy for you,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
　
then you are probably

　
　
　
　
　
　

the family dog.
(and you thought I was going to lay a bunch of spiritual B.S. on you.)

bluemilk · 07-02-2012, 12:14 PM

A man was driving down the road,and ran out of gas. JUST then,a honeybee flew in his window and asked hummingly, 'what's wrong?' 'I'm out of gas' the man replied. 'Leave it to me' replied the bee, and with an apian salute, flew into his gas tank. Some time later the car was fueled up and ready to go! 'What did you put in my gas tank?' asked the man

...BP...

Huge · 07-08-2012, 04:42 AM

A british (ok Scottish) player is in the Wimbledon final..... lol.

bluemilk · 07-28-2012, 03:30 PM

There's a place in London where your pets can exchange dollars for pounds.

BARK-LEY'S BANK!

**Xanti** · 07-28-2012, 04:01 PM

oh dear oh dear Blue

bluemilk · 09-11-2012, 08:16 PM

NASA update: The bar on the moon did NOT work out. It had no atmosphere.

bluemilk · 10-20-2012, 05:14 PM

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.

snowy · 10-22-2012, 10:35 PM

Excepts from what I heard at a talk, "Story of the 2 carrots":

2 carrots, carrot A and carrot B were driving on the road. Then they met with a accident and were both taken to the hospital. Carrot A was fine but carrot B was in bad shape and had to undergo surgery. Then surgeon came out from surgery room

Carrot A : How's my friend?
Surgeon : I have both good news and bad news.
Carrot A : (anxiously waiting for surgeon to go on)
Surgeon : The good news is, your friend is out of danger. The bad news is, he's gonna be a VEGETABLE for the rest of his life.

Goldtanker · 10-23-2012, 09:56 AM

bluemilk · 11-17-2012, 04:06 PM

What sound does a space turkey make?

Hubblehubblehubble!

10-23-2012, 09:56 AM	#179 (permalink)
Goldtanker Senior Cat Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Minnesota Posts: 640	__________________

06-30-2012, 06:31 PM	#171 (permalink)
cinderflower Cool Cat Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: indoors most of the time Posts: 1,283	Inner Peace: If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy for you, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without alcohol, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, 　 then you are probably 　　　　　　 the family dog. (and you thought I was going to lay a bunch of spiritual B.S. on you.)

07-02-2012, 12:14 PM	#172 (permalink)
bluemilk Cat Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Youngstown,Ohio Posts: 2,533	A man was driving down the road,and ran out of gas. JUST then,a honeybee flew in his window and asked hummingly, 'what's wrong?' 'I'm out of gas' the man replied. 'Leave it to me' replied the bee, and with an apian salute, flew into his gas tank. Some time later the car was fueled up and ready to go! 'What did you put in my gas tank?' asked the man ...BP...

07-08-2012, 04:42 AM	#173 (permalink)
Huge Banned Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 8,739	A british (ok Scottish) player is in the Wimbledon final..... lol.

07-28-2012, 03:30 PM	#174 (permalink)
bluemilk Cat Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Youngstown,Ohio Posts: 2,533	There's a place in London where your pets can exchange dollars for pounds. BARK-LEY'S BANK!

07-28-2012, 04:01 PM	#175 (permalink)
Xanti Super Moderator Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Taunton, Somerset Posts: 2,561	oh dear oh dear Blue

09-11-2012, 08:16 PM	#176 (permalink)
bluemilk Cat Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Youngstown,Ohio Posts: 2,533	NASA update: The bar on the moon did NOT work out. It had no atmosphere.

10-20-2012, 05:14 PM	#177 (permalink)
bluemilk Cat Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Youngstown,Ohio Posts: 2,533	How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.

10-22-2012, 10:35 PM	#178 (permalink)
snowy Cool Cat Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 981	Excepts from what I heard at a talk, "Story of the 2 carrots": 2 carrots, carrot A and carrot B were driving on the road. Then they met with a accident and were both taken to the hospital. Carrot A was fine but carrot B was in bad shape and had to undergo surgery. Then surgeon came out from surgery room Carrot A : How's my friend? Surgeon : I have both good news and bad news. Carrot A : (anxiously waiting for surgeon to go on) Surgeon : The good news is, your friend is out of danger. The bad news is, he's gonna be a VEGETABLE for the rest of his life.

11-17-2012, 04:06 PM	#180 (permalink)
bluemilk Cat Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Youngstown,Ohio Posts: 2,533	What sound does a space turkey make? Hubblehubblehubble!

Remove Advertisements Sponsored Links
CatForum.com Advertisement