|03-08-2006, 09:27 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2004
Funny cat poems
On a cheek or a chin
That is the way
for a day to begin!
A cuddle and a purr.
I have an alarm clock
That's covered in fur!
I'm Only a Cat
I'm only a cat,
and I stay in my place...
Up there on your chair,
on your bed or your face!
I'm only a cat,
and I don't finick much...
I'm happy with cream
and anchovies and such!
I'm only a cat,
and we'll get along fine...
As long as you know
I'm not yours... you're all mine!
There's music in a hammer,
There's music in a nail,
There's Music in a tom-cat
When you tread upon his tail.
Cat hair on the bedspread,
Cat hair on the chair.
Cat hair in the casserole,
Cat hair EVERYWHERE
Cat hair on my best coat,
Even on the mouse!
You live and eat and breathe cat hair,
When cats live in your house.
A Cat's Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
The king-size bed is soft and deep...
I sleep right in the centre groove
My human can hardly move!
I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight
And here is where I pass the night
No one disturbs me or dares intrude
Till morning comes and "I want food!"
I sneak up slowly to begin
My nibbles on my human's chin.
She wakes up quickly, I have sharp teeth -
And my claws I will unsheathe
For the morning's here and it's time to play
I always seem to get my way.
So thank you Lord for giving me
This human person that I see.
The one who hugs me and holds me tight
And sacrifices her bed at night
Cat Owner's Prayer
Because I'm only human,
It's sometimes hard to be
The wise, all-knowing creature
That my cat expects of me.
And so I pray for special help
To somehow understand
The subtle implications
Of each proud meowed command.
Oh, let me not forget that chairs
Were put on earth to shred;
And what I like to call a lap
Is actually a bed.
I know it's really lots to ask
But please, oh please, take pity;
And though I'm only human,
Make me worthy of my kitty!
When God Created Kitty Cats
When God created kitty cats,
He had no recipe;
He knew He wanted something sweet,
As sweet as sweet could be.
He started out with sugar,
Adding just a trace of spice;
Then stirred in drops of morning dew,
To keep them fresh and nice.
He thought cats should be soft to pet,
Thus He gave them coats of fur;
So they could show they were content,
He taught them how to purr.
He made for them long tails to wave,
While strutting down the walk;
Then trained them in meow-ology,
So they could do cat-talk.
He made them into acrobats,
And gave them grace and poise;
Their wide-eyed curiosity,
He took from little boys.
He put whiskers on their faces,
Gave them tiny ears for caps;
Then shaped their little bodies,
To snugly fit on laps.
He gave them eyes as big as saucers,
To look into man's soul;
Then set a tolerance for mankind,
As their purpose and their goal.
Benevolent ... and ... generous,
He made so many of them;
Then charged, with Fatherly Concern,
The human race to love them.
When one jumped up upon His lap,
God gently stroked its head;
The cat gave Him a kitty kiss,
"What wondrous love," God said.
God smiled at His accomplishment,
So pleased with His creation;
And said, with pride, as He sat back,
"At last. . .I've reached purr-fection!"
Cats are Wonderful Friends
Gentle eyes that see so much,
paws that have the quiet touch,
Purrs to signal "all is well"
and show more love than words could tell.
Graceful movements touched with pride,
a calming presence by our side
A friendship that takes time to grow
Small wonder why we love them so.