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post #1371 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 01:03 AM
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Pay for my college and I'll help you around the house.

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post #1372 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 09:21 AM
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Pay for my college and I'll help you around the house.
Thatís funny.

She has a friend that loved to clean and when they were teens she would come over and clean my daughterís room. I asked the friends parents if we could trade daughters because they said my daughter was so wonderful.
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post #1373 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 10:13 AM
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It sounds like your daughter needs to find her own place. At 22 you'd think she'd want to, wouldn't you?

I'm the youngest of 3 girls and none of us ever lived with my parents after college . . . somehow they managed to impart the idea that it wasn't allowed.


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post #1374 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 10:17 AM
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I'm with October. I'd sit her down and let her know that she either needs to pitch in gladly with a list of chores(and pay rent) or she needs to move out on her own and support herself
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post #1375 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 01:11 PM
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Iíve been on my own and worked a full time job since I was 17 with an exception for two years while going to college and then I worked part time. Both my older son and daughter moved out at 18 and own their own homes.
I like having her here, but I just wish she would pull her own weight around here and help out with some of the chores. I work full time 10 hrs a day and Iím tired of doing everything. It would help so much if she would just pick up the dog crap everyday and clean the litter boxes. It would also be thoughtful if she would wash the dishes even if she just cleaned up her own mess.
I also worry all time of what sheís going to do if anything happens to me. She starts yelling every time I bring it up and I just canít take the yelling.
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post #1376 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 04:20 PM
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I moved out at 22, and didn't pay rent at home before then, but almost all of the house and yard work was on me. Vacuuming, mopping, laundry, dishes, mowing and raking grass, dog poop cleanup, shoveling the monster driveway in the winter etc. I also bought the dog and cat food while I lived there. I did pay all of my other bills, phone, car, insurance and pet insurance.


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post #1377 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 04:36 PM
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I moved out at 22, and didn't pay rent at home before then, but almost all of the house and yard work was on me. Vacuuming, mopping, laundry, dishes, mowing and raking grass, dog poop cleanup, shoveling the monster driveway in the winter etc. I also bought the dog and cat food while I lived there. I did pay all of my other bills, phone, car, insurance and pet insurance.


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Wow, my daughter could learn a lot from you. I would never charge rent, but if my daughter did all that, I would be in heaven.
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post #1378 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 04:42 PM
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I would never charge rent,
Then you're enabling her slacker behavior. You can bank it for her (without her knowing) and give it back when there is a good reason to (wedding expenses, purchase of a home etc.). You'd be doing her a favor to get tough with her no matter how hard it is for you.



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post #1379 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 05:20 PM
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Wow, my daughter could learn a lot from you. I would never charge rent, but if my daughter did all that, I would be in heaven.
No offense intended but if she doesn't do anything to help out and pull her weight, not to mention yelling at her parent(I can't even comprehend doing that) and you don't want to do anything to change the behavior I have little sympathy. You've created your monster, now you get to live with her.

I can say you're not doing her any favors. She's going to have a really hard time dealing with life and learning lessons @ 30, 40, or 50 she should have learned @18-25.
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post #1380 of 1432 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 06:47 PM
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Growing up, I had an aunt that never moved out of her mother's house. She didn't cook, clean, pay the bills....she was tons of fun as long as you did what she wanted to do. Everything revolved around her. My mother (her older sister) was always so hurt and offended and angry about the favoritism that she saw. When Grandma passed away, my aunt naturally just took the house and everything in it....

History repeats itself....My younger sister never had to work as a teenager. She didn't have to pay her own way, clean her own clothes, buy food. Her boyfriend even lived in the house for three years and he did even less than my sister. She didn't move out until she was 26. But she still goes to mom's house to shower and do laundry. She is loosing her house to foreclosure and doesn't have a job. Where do I think she'll end up...hmm...?

I have spent years being hurt and angry about how my mother favors my sister and helps her with everything when she (in my opinion) doesn't deserve it. Not that it doesn't still **** me off at times....But I finally realize that my sister is a different person than me. My mom's relationship with her is just different than her relationship with me. My sister is a "taker", just like my aunt. People like that always find people to take care of them. They end up just fine.
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