The complaining thread

[builder]

Well, I was avoiding this thread because I don’t even want to get started, but I’m just really disappointed in my youngest daughter. She is 22 yrs old and just doesn’t have any desire to better herself. I’ve offered to pay for her to go to college and she is just satisfied with her restaurant job only working about 30 hrs a week. She doesn’t do much of anything to help around the house except that she does her own laundry.

I’ve been sick today with something and asked if she could at least mop the floors and put the dishes in the dishwasher. She just says no, so as sick as I was today I had to mop the floors and do the dishes. By the time I was done, I was so exhausted and sick that I haven’t been able to do anything for hours and then I had to get up and fix dinner. I just don’t know what I did wrong in bringing her up.

I have never been lazy like that and there have been times when I have stayed at someone else’s house, but I always did everything I could to help like doing dishes or whatever needed to be done.

[marie73]

Pay for my college and I'll help you around the house.

[builder]

Originally Posted by marie73

Pay for my college and I'll help you around the house.

That’s funny.

She has a friend that loved to clean and when they were teens she would come over and clean my daughter’s room. I asked the friends parents if we could trade daughters because they said my daughter was so wonderful.

[October]

It sounds like your daughter needs to find her own place. At 22 you'd think she'd want to, wouldn't you?

I'm the youngest of 3 girls and none of us ever lived with my parents after college . . . somehow they managed to impart the idea that it wasn't allowed.

[MowMow]

I'm with October. I'd sit her down and let her know that she either needs to pitch in gladly with a list of chores(and pay rent) or she needs to move out on her own and support herself

[builder]

I’ve been on my own and worked a full time job since I was 17 with an exception for two years while going to college and then I worked part time. Both my older son and daughter moved out at 18 and own their own homes.
I like having her here, but I just wish she would pull her own weight around here and help out with some of the chores. I work full time 10 hrs a day and I’m tired of doing everything. It would help so much if she would just pick up the dog crap everyday and clean the litter boxes. It would also be thoughtful if she would wash the dishes even if she just cleaned up her own mess.
I also worry all time of what she’s going to do if anything happens to me. She starts yelling every time I bring it up and I just can’t take the yelling.

[kayla baxter]

I moved out at 22, and didn't pay rent at home before then, but almost all of the house and yard work was on me. Vacuuming, mopping, laundry, dishes, mowing and raking grass, dog poop cleanup, shoveling the monster driveway in the winter etc. I also bought the dog and cat food while I lived there. I did pay all of my other bills, phone, car, insurance and pet insurance.


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[builder]

Originally Posted by kayla baxter

I moved out at 22, and didn't pay rent at home before then, but almost all of the house and yard work was on me. Vacuuming, mopping, laundry, dishes, mowing and raking grass, dog poop cleanup, shoveling the monster driveway in the winter etc. I also bought the dog and cat food while I lived there. I did pay all of my other bills, phone, car, insurance and pet insurance.


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Wow, my daughter could learn a lot from you. I would never charge rent, but if my daughter did all that, I would be in heaven.

[doodlebug]

Originally Posted by builder

I would never charge rent,

Then you're enabling her slacker behavior. You can bank it for her (without her knowing) and give it back when there is a good reason to (wedding expenses, purchase of a home etc.). You'd be doing her a favor to get tough with her no matter how hard it is for you.

[MowMow]

Originally Posted by builder

Wow, my daughter could learn a lot from you. I would never charge rent, but if my daughter did all that, I would be in heaven.

No offense intended but if she doesn't do anything to help out and pull her weight, not to mention yelling at her parent(I can't even comprehend doing that) and you don't want to do anything to change the behavior I have little sympathy. You've created your monster, now you get to live with her.

I can say you're not doing her any favors. She's going to have a really hard time dealing with life and learning lessons @ 30, 40, or 50 she should have learned @18-25.