I have nowhere to vent..Nowhere to write..So I write here
Dads been slowly dying from liver cancer for the last 5 years, according to doctors he should have died 5 years ago...I could never really accept it, it was just day to day, years to years, he was never going to die in my head..
I brought Allie home last year and 3 months later when I showed him baby Olivers picture and told him im getting another persian kitten he thought I was turning into my aunty(crazy cat lady)..
Well he sure went bonkers for Oliver, he used to visit my dad all the way until the machines turned on...Oxygen machine made a lot of noise and soon after Oliver would not visit him in bed...
I watched my dad die last tuesday at 5 am, I was already awake at 4am listening to him breathe from my room...Since hes been gone the 2 cats/kittens have been constantly in his room at night...I think they know hes gone..
I just lost Smokey just last year which truly introduced me to what the definition of grief was..I took his death very roughly, more so then what should be normal which in turn is helping me a lot now.
Dad was a motorbike fanatic from harleys to yamahas it was his life...I was working outside his window the other day on my plants and was only thinking about my plant..My heart suddenly jumped when my sensces alerted me to a quiet room. I guess for so many years I always heard noises from the window now nothing but silence...
I am glad I have Allie and Oliver, it truley makes a world of differance..Everyone goes through this experience..Life and Death and the world keeps on spinning not stopping for anybody