She is gone, and I am lost w/o her, I don't know how to cope

[ashley.hood4]

Hi my name is Ashley, and I am CRAZY about my animals!! I have three cats, one dog, three sugar gliders, and one ferrett. Of all my furry critters, the cats definitely rule the roost! About two months ago the ultimate queen B of the family, my Neesie, was killed. She only had three legs, due to a mishap with a car when she was younger, and extra toes on both of her front paws. She was a beautiful calico that meant the world to me! I only had her for 5 years, but those 5 years were the best! She was with me when I graduated, when I first met my fiance and moved out..etc.. so many important events in my life. She was my best friend and I was hers. I was raised on a farm, and had cats all of my life. I have seen so many come and go. I always promised Neesie I would protect her. Because of her three legs, I was very strict about never letting her step foot outside. I have recently bought my first house, and two weeks before the big move is when it all happened...On Sept. 12th my fiance was preparing for the big move, loading up the trailer. Since he was constantly in and out he left the door open. Neesie managed to sneak out, and before I knew it I heard her screaming for me. My neighbors dogs had gotten her and had their way with her. By the time I found her it was too late, and I just cant help but look back and try to figure out what I could have done to change what happened to her. Hearing her last screams haunt me. I have been so upset and depressed! A couple weeks later I decided to search for a handicapped or special needs cat to adopt, to help fill that void. I was so determined to find a cat that looked exactly like neesie, three legs and all. I guess I was just desperately trying to get her back, which is not going to happen. My other cat Sassy had given birth to a batch of 5 kittens about two weeks before Neesie died. At the time I had no intention on keeping one of them, my plan was to find them good homes, and then find a special cat (which are harder to find homes for) for myself to care for. Well my plan did a complete turn around when I found one of the kittens lying on its bed unable to move, while the others were playing and being normal kittens. I rushed him to the vet where he was given a 50-50 chance to make it through the night. He was too little and too weak to to get any blood tests, so she gave him fluids,and sent me and Guss home with an antibiotic. Once home I retrieved some pedialite to keep him hydrated and kept him on a heating pad to keep his body temp up. To my surprise, He made it through the night. Throughout the days following, he began to progress, but as he became more and more stable, his symptoms became more clear. blindness, large dome shaped head, wobbly, unable to keep a balance. I continued to take him to the vet for rechecks. After examining him she concluded that the diagnosis is Hydrocephalis, which is fluid building up in the brain. I currently have him on prednizone to relieve and control the fluid from continuing to build up. He is such a little fighter, but it is such a rare disease, I just hope he will have a semi long life span. It's so weird how things turn out, He has really helped take the death Neesie off of my mind. I would still take her back in a heart beat though. It's just taking me a lot of time to cope. I hope that eventually I can love Guss as much as I loved her. P.s. Sassy's kittens were not unwanted, I let her have one batch before i got her fixed. and I do not let my cats run around mating, when I was younger at my mom and dad's they had all kinds of barn cats, and I was constantly trying to care for them and sneaking them in my room. And Neesie's accident with the car happened at my mom and dad's and that is when I had my last straw with everything and made sure, no matter what they said about cats in the house, that Neesie would be safe indoors with me. And thats when our beautiful relationship began. I have been living with my fiance for three years now and our animals are very well taken care of.

[Leazie]

Hi Ashley. It sounds like you gave Nessie a wonderful life filled with love and understanding.

Nessie got out of the house because of an accident. I know that it does not make it easier- just 2 weeks ago my Taz went out the front door and never came back. I am focusing on the good times that I had with him, at that has helped a lot.

I believe that Nessie sent Guss to you because she knew that you would be able to love and care for him in such a special way.

((HUGS)) to you

[ashley.hood4]

Thank you so much, I am sorry about your taz also. It sucks so bad! I think what bothers me so badly is that I heard her last screams, and I was too late, so she died so scared and alone. I just don't know if I will ever love another cat as much as her. I really hope I can fill that void of not having her some day. I love Guss to pieces it's just that I don't even know how long of a life he is going to have with me. His disease is so rare for cats and every time I research it up, The website says "If your cat has hydracyphalis your cat is going to die." Or it will explain the symptoms and etc... but I never find anything on how long they can actually live with this disease, with proper treatment. I talked to one lady I know, who worked at a vet and she told me that once they found out the cat had it, they immediately put them to sleep. This is the first case my vet has seen also, but she says it's basically just a watch and see type deal. So we have him on steroids right now, and we will see where it goes from there.