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#1 (permalink) |
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Jr. Cat
![]() Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: B.C, Canada
Posts: 39
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Hello. I have not posted here for quite some time.
This morning my hubby left to go to work at 5:20am ... and then I heard him pull back into our driveway. I thought he'd forgotten something, until he walked in our bedroom and told me " He's been hit! He's dead." I sat up in bed and started crying and then asked him who, since we have 3 cats .. 2 male ones. When he uttered the name "Ozzie" I lost it. Ozzie was a beautiful orange and white male tabby mix. I had gotten him from my sister. She found a heavily pregnant Grey Torti in her yard and took her in and 2 days later she had 3 kittens. She managed to pawn this little orange and white one off on me. He was born September 7th,2010. I grew very fond of Ozzie and he became my "favorite" as he was a great cat with my 5 yr old daughter, very affectionate, playful and absolutely gorgeous. We moved from our mobile home where they were inside all the time to living in the country a bit where they could run and play outside. At 5:30am my husband and I picked Ozzie up off the road. I cried the whole way walking down our driveway ... I sat there beside him in my PJ's crying and crying his name. I have not had to do anythign like this in 13 yrs. It's just as hard now as an adult as it was when I was 10 yrs old. Only dif now is What do I tell my daughter? How do I act like nothing is wrong. We put him in a garbage bag, just so my daughter wouldn't see anything, and put it in the garage. Hubby is leaving work early and going to go bury him at his parents place since they have a special spot there for animals that have passed on. My parents have told me to go with the " he ran away" story for now. I think I will, just cuz she is so grown up for her age, I would like her to keep her innocense in this category. I'm already finding it hard to do my normal day stuff, I'm so used to Ozzie following me around, waiting to be let outside or waiting for my daughter to sit on the couch so he can snuggle with her. It's also laundry day today ... I'm used to him, after I've sorted the dirty laundry, falling asleep on the dirty laundry. *Sigh* I miss him. I'm torn between telling my daughter he ran away and telling her the truth. Any advice? I'm also going to have to take some water down the where he was killed and hope it washes a bit away. It's hard looking out my livingroom window and seeing his blood on the road. It was really hard for me to post these pictures. ![]() ![]()
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#2 (permalink) |
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Tom Cat
![]() Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 453
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Oh sweetheart!! I am so sorry for your loss. It's very difficult to lose a friend like this, especially when they are so young.
As for your daughter, she is only 5 and probably won't completely understand the concept of death, especially if she's not experienced it before. I would tell her an abridged version of Rainbow Bridge and that he has gone there to play in the fields, and that he won't be coming back. I don't think she needs all the details of his passing at this point, just he's gone there and won't be able to come back home. Again, my condolences, my thoughts are are with you. Rachel |
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#3 (permalink) |
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Jr. Cat
![]() Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: B.C, Canada
Posts: 39
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Thanks. It's been very hard. The worst part is looking out my livingroom window ( i have a view of a lake and i look out often) trying to catch a glimpse of something beautiful and then out of the corner of my eye .... seeing where he passed. He was such an amazing cat but hubby and I both feel guilty because we got mad at him yesterday for eating all the catfood meant for the 3 of them and I got mad at him for being in the room where the baby was sleeping. I keep telling myself that he knew we loved him, and that we took good care of him. 2 nights ago I went into town late to pick up a perscription and when I came back home Ozzie was sitting on the brick wall of our driveway and when i got out of my truck I walked over to pet him and talk to him. That memory is sticking in my head hard right now. I think I'm going to tell my daughter that he has passed and I'll explain a lil bit about the Rainbow Bridge to her. I believe she's way to young to know the details about what happened and way too young to see him and see goodbye. Hubby's going to bury him this afternoon I believe at his parents or maybe somewhere on our property I'm not to sure tho.
I've had alot of cats growing up and have only had to do this with one other when I was 10-11 yrs old. The way I felt about Ozzie I have never felt about any of my other pets, he truly had my heart the second I saw him at only 1 week old .... he still has my heart. I wish I could go back and make sure he was inside lastnight. |
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#4 (permalink) |
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Jr. Cat
![]() Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: B.C, Canada
Posts: 39
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So I decided to tell my daughter that Ozzie is in Kitty Heaven. She looked at me and flat out asked " Did he get hit by a car?" I didn't know what else to say other then Yes. I read her the Rainbow Bridge poem and her and I cried together. I wanted her to hear about where Ozzie went. We burried Ozzie about an hour ago at Hubby's parents place. They have a special section there for animals that passed. It was hard taking him out of the bag and wrapping him in his fav blankie. I'd never gone threw this stuff when I was a kid. So being the adult/parent and having to do this was really hard. I'd never seen anything like that before. I felt so bad. I miss him so much.
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#5 (permalink) |
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Cat
![]() Join Date: May 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 284
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This entire post made me cry..im very sorry you lost Ozzie! I hope your daughter as well as you cope with it ok..again very sorry
__________________
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God". ~Unknown |
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#7 (permalink) |
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Senior Cat
![]() Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chile, South America
Posts: 745
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Oh my...I am so, so sorry...
I went through the exact thing with my beloved girl Sun. She was only 7 months old... She managed to escape one night and next morning at 6 am we found out she was hit by a car. She passed away instantly...it was right outside my house. I know there is very little anyone can say to ease your pain. I just want to tell you that time will heal it, and it will be ok...as hard as it is to believe that now. The pain may never go away completely, but you learn to live with it and start remembering all the good moments, and eventually stop crying. Do not blame yourself, it was just an accident and I bet he was a happy kitty and had a wonderful life with you. I also thought about how I yelled at her the day before because she climbed on top of a lamp and broke it, and that only thought made me go on my knees crying with guilt. But don't feel sad because of that, it was just one minute of a happy life! Most kitties don't have the luck he had to live with you, to be loved and respected as he was. Don't torture yourself with the wathifs, they won't get you anywhere. I tortured myself for months with the what if I checked that stupid window, or what if I woke up in the middle of the night to find her, or what if I had showed her before how dangerous the road was...I even had a recurrent dream where I stopped the car and rescued her. But torturing your mind trying to think what could have been different won't change what happened. It was not your fault. You don't need that burden on your shoulders in a time like this. Don't let anyone tell you it was just a pet and that you should get yourself together soon. You need the time to cry and mourn. Try to talk to supportive people who will understand what you are going through. I came to this forum when I was desperate for the loss of my kitty, trying to find some consolation. Everybody was great and very supportive. Talking about it sometimes makes you feel better. So if you wanna talk, feel free to PM me or to post I'll be thinking about you and your family so you can find some consolation, all the good vibes and good thoughts for you. I know how hard it is, how tragic and sudden and how unreal it becomes when you lose a loved one on such an unexpected, violent way. But I can assure you time will make it better and you will be able to remember him and all the good memories with a smile on your face. a big, big hug from the distance... Lenka PS: Im sorry for my mistakes in English, I'll always be learning.
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Lenka and... ![]() Sweet girl Sun, we miss you so much! Run free at the bridge. Last edited by Lenkolas; 08-28-2011 at 08:12 PM. |
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#8 (permalink) |
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Jr. Cat
![]() Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: B.C, Canada
Posts: 39
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Welcome to Facebook - Log In, Sign Up or Learn More I looked at his pictures and listened to that song. Very fitting for everything right now. I miss him so much! |
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#10 (permalink) |
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Jr. Cat
![]() Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: B.C, Canada
Posts: 39
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Thank you everyone .... it's been really hard. I was good for a while after we burried him but now it's all hit me again. I'm used to him curling up on the couch with me after kids are asleep and me and hubby watch tv. I'm used to him meowing at the screen door in the livingroom to come in for the night. Tomorrow's going to be hard aswell .... I have to head into town and that means pulling out of our driveway right beside where he was hit .. and evidnece still there.
Lenkolas: Thanks so much. I'm finding talking about it on here is helping a bit .. obviously not completely yet. This does seem so unreal. I told my Hubby on our way home from burrying Ozzie .... I feel numb all over, like i'm in a bad dream waiting for someone to pinch me and bring me back to reality, but this is reality and no offense reality in this sense really effing sucks! I loved my Ozzie so much! And for someone to take him out of my life and my family's life so carelessly and violently hurts. Hubby and I figured from how stiff he was already and the last time either one of us saw him he was probably hit around 1am, which on our street on a saturday night means someone speeding and/or drunk driving. I so desperately want my baby back right now! Feel free to click the facebook link, it's an album of Ozzie. He was the most beautiful I've ever had, big but beautiful. Nice markings and color, sweet eyes, cute pink nose, the longest tail I've seen on any cat although not sure if it shows in his pics, and his personality OMG the sweetest most affectionate boy I've ever had the pleasure of being owned by. |
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