Goodbye Kaeyara

[Dori]

On Oct 01 my sweet kitty Kaeyara had to be put to sleep from kidney and renal failure. I originally came to this forum looking for support for my loss and the share my knowledge of cats.

Kaeyara's life with us started in early summer. My boyfriend and I were going out for a walk when I noticed a group of kittens across the street, playing in the bushes. My thoughts immediately were on finding them good homes. With a few hours, a couple towels and kitty carrier, we managed to catch four out of the assumed six kittens.I still see the other pair who moved down the neighborhood but they are older now and all I can manage to do is feed them.

We took the kittens home with us, called the shelter and being put on a waiting list to find these kittens homes. My boyfriend and I laid a blanket in the tub, bought some kitten food, and every day spent individual time with every kitten. We avoided naming them for months, but ultimately decided to keep them. Kaeyara had always been the strongest of will and determined to fed us off to protect her siblings. We named her after a character from my book. An elf princess, who was distrusting of everyone, but once she is close to you, forever loyal.

Kaeyara stayed small, but loved eating. When we noticed in late September that she had stopped eating, I immediately made an appointment for the following morning. She seemed lethargic, wouldn't play or drink. I was very worried about her. I tried to make her comfortable and when picking her up to hold her, she coughed blood on my hand. Naturally, I panicked and placed her in a crate. I took her to the closest emergency vet. After a lot of crying and waiting, the vet told me she had probably gotten into the lilies my mother had sent me for my birthday the week before. I had no idea they would hurt her, let alone kill her. The vet told me her kidney levels were so high, the readings couldn't even probably label them and she would die without weeks and weeks of treatment. Even then, she explained, that the chances of her surviving were very slim - that she was too far along and the best choice would probably be to let her go. I was heartbroken and terrified.

At home, I had six more cats. The lady was kind enough to offer to do blood work on all my other cats without charging additional fees. Lending me five additional crates, I returned home and rounded up my cats and admittedly, destroyed the lilies in a screaming fit of loss. Luckily, all the tests for my other cats came back with normal levels. They gave Kaeyara pain medication and I took her home with my other cats. My boyfriend was at work, and didn't get off until 3 am. I knew he loved our babies as much as I did, so I laid with Kaeyara in the bed room four hours, waiting for him to come home.

We spent time with her when he arrived before taking her to the vet, gently brushing her fur and stroking her ears. When he went to put to her sleep, I was appalled when one of the other workers there interrupted out last few minutes to ask me to pay. At the time I was too distraught, now I am angry at her. It was inapproiate and rude, insentivie and a number of other words I cannot label here. Regardless, I set up a payment plan and allowed my boyfriend one on one time with Kae. We returned and decided together not to be there when she was put down, but only when they put her to sleep before hand. I wanted the last thing my baby saw to be us. She was wrapped in a towel and taken away. I don't know how long I cried, but I am glad my boyfriend was there. I am crying now.

We took her collar home and cleaned her food bowl, both are sitting on our dresser. We had no where to bury her, so she was cremated and taken somewhere to be laid to rest with other pets. Of all the cats and animals I have lost, this one had to be one of the hardest. I felt guilty because they were my flowers, foolish for not knowing they could hurt my babies, and heartbroken because it was my choice to let her go. I wished I had had all the money in the world so we could have tried to save her. I wish, but that isn't the case.

Life has started to feel normal again here in this household, but there will always be a hole where she used to be. I may have a lot of cats, but I love them all so much.

[Valentine's Heart]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that sometimes we do things not knowing that there is harm in what we are doing. You didn't know about the flowers and you will have to forgive yourself for that. No matter how many pets we have, it hurts to lose one. The vet once told me to put chicken broth on one of my cats food to entice him to eat. She didn't warn me about making sure there were no onions in the broth. My cat died of congestive heart failure. I will never know whether it was caused by the broth that DID have onions in it or not. But I had no idea that onions were bad for cats. It's so hard to know everything and not make any mistakes. My heart goes out to you and try not to be too hard on yourself. Humans make mistakes. But if you had not taken her in, she would have been feral. You have given a home to the others as well.
I wish you the best.

[FancysMom]

what a punkin! i am so sorry for your loss. she has the same gray and white markings that my Fancy has.