I had to say goodbye to my little Zoe Bowie today. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I don't ever want to do it again, but I know I will.
Zoe got sick in March. We'd been treating her for an URI that never got better, only worse. Finally a couple of weeks ago she was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma. She was given weeks, at best, left to her. It was super aggressive. She had stopped eating on Saturday night and had started to show visual signs of pain. I knew I had to let her go, even though it was breaking my heart.
Zoe was my shadow. Anywhere I was, Zoe was. She slept with me, she sat on my lap when I was on the computer, she meditated with me, she sat on the edge of the bathtub and dangled her tail in the water when I was taking baths...any time I was home I just had to look around and I would find her.
I miss her so much already, and it's only been a few hours. I almost can't bear to be in the house because I know it's missing her. I knew it would be hard for me, but I never thought it would be this hard.
This morning when she was on my lap, I took a little snip of her fur for a keepsake. I wanted to do this while she was alive so it had that energy on it. Now just looking at it makes me burst into tears. I'll never get to pet my super soft kitty ever again. I'll never get to hear her purr and look up at me with the most love filled eyes ever again. I'll never get to see her lounging in the sun ever again. She was only 11, and I honestly never expected her to be taken from me so soon.
I will miss her forever.