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Old 04-16-2005, 02:42 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My bunny, Co-Co

I can't really remember how long ago it was when I got him. It started out with my parents, my sister, and me going to the pet store to get my sister a bird. I found this one little brown bunny, only a baby. There was something about him. So we left that day with a bird, and a bunny. For the first few days I was so happy to have him and I was playing with him all the time. But after that, I started to ignore him. I didn't really want to pay any attention to him. You see, we had only had a cat before the bird and my bunny came along. And I don't know if this is normal behavoiur when you first get a new pet, but I think it was a bit overwhelming for me even to have a rabbit after just having a cat for so long. Co-Co I think was intimidating to me. I don't know how to explain it. A few more days went by, and one moring he was laying on his side, his stomach was going up and down really fast, his eyes were partly shut. I can't remember, but I think I said to myself "I've seen him do this before, he is probably just scared." My mom said to me "It looks like something is wrong with him, is he okay?" I said yes and assured her everything was fine. This is the part where I start crying. I went to school. I couldn't stop thinking about him the whole day. I knew there must be something wrong. I get home and my mom is sitting crying on the couch. I came in and I said "Co-Co died today. Didn't he?". She said to me "Yes... why aren't you upset about this? He was your bunny. He was just a baby." I had no emotions. It wasn't until later that I couldn't stop crying for weeks. It turns out that Co-Co was taken from his mother too soon, and he had a heart problem or something to that effect. My mother had decided to take him back to pet store the same day he was breathing fast, he died on the way there. The store gave us credit instead of repaying us. But that obviously didn't make it right. I feel so horrible about the whole incident. I only needed a couple more weeks to get used to him. I swear. I feel so bad. I can't even think about him or I start crying, even now when I'm 16. I don't even have any pictures of him. I keep blaming myself. Maybe it is my fault. But I never wanted him to die. I seriously can't explain how I get when there are new pets around. I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on from this. I can't remember if the vet said it was inevitable that he was going die. Regardless, I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself. I don't know how to get past this. I don't know what I was thinking.

I'm sorry Co-Co. I love you.
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Old 04-16-2005, 11:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh, Wesley, I'm so sorry about Co-Co. Please don't blame yourself. It sounds like there were problems with Co-Co that you couldn't have fixed yourself, whether it was his heart or being separated from his mother.

Wesley, even if you did everything right, you would still be blaming yourself. That's just a normal human reaction. Whenever a person or pet dies, we always think first of the things we didn't do and not all the good things we did. You gave Co-Co a home, and because of you he didn't die alone in a pet store cage. Please remember that.

You will be OK, even though you will be hurting for awhile. Think of something you can do for another animal, like helping out at an animal shelter or making a donation of pet food or blankets. Doing something positive will help you take your mind off your sadness.

Good luck, and please let us know how you're doing.
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Old 04-16-2005, 12:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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it is so sad and overwhelming to lose a pet... even one we have not had for very long.

it isn't your fault that he was taken from his mother too soon. And it sounds like you almost felt numb at first... that is a normal reaction to a sudden shock... that is no reason to feel bad!

as human beings, our first reaction to a loss is to blame ourselves for the things we "should have done" - and that's not fair to ourselves! We do the best we can, and hope that is enough. It's always easier to look back afterwards and say "I should have done this differently", but by then we have a totally different perspective!

like lymekaps said, at least the poor baby had a home and people who cared about him instead of dying alone in a cage at the pet store, where no one would have likely mourned his loss.

you are a good and caring person. please don't blame yourself... this is never easy, but you will find comfort in time. Be strong. Hang in there!
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Old 04-16-2005, 01:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Don't blame yourself.
It sounds like you're going through a normal grieving process. Guilt is a normal part of grieving.

Quote:
Guilt is the next stage of grief. It is normal to blame yourself for not doing something or anything to prevent the loss of your loved one. You may feel guilt that you never let your loved one know how much he or she ment to you. You may regret that you never told him or her things that should have been said long ago. You may think "so many things would have been different if only I had known
http://www.mannslonakerfuneralhome.com/grief.ivnu
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Old 04-16-2005, 02:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry you're hurting so much from your loss. RIP Co-Co.

Please don't beat yourself up, remember that hindsight is always 20/20. There are always a million "if only" or "what if" when you're looking back. What happened was completely beyond your control.

On the positive side, look at it as a valuable learning experience, and when you're ready, one that will help you take care of your next pet that much better. Or take Lymekaps' suggestions, it would be therapeutic for you. Any of those actions would be a very good tribute to Co-Co's memory.
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Old 04-16-2005, 09:18 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Wesley my heart goes out to you, Co-co and your family. You sound like a very caring person. Im sure this bunny knew it was in a better place than the pet store. Dont hold yourself responsible for the irresponsible actions of a pet store.

Donate your time to the Humane Society, or donate money or food to a bunny rescue in tribute to Co-co. Last time I was in at our Humane Society they had several grown bunnies up for adoption. You can make something good come from this.



In Memory of Co-Co
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Old 04-16-2005, 10:30 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I sort of know how you feel. I lost my dog just after I graduated high school. We were never very close because I was allergic to her and I never really cried after she died. A year later, I was telling my new boyfriend all about her and how she used to love to race me up and down the yard and how I picked her out when she was just a puppy and how she was afraid of this one spot on the kitchen floor and I just started crying. I felt better after I cried, but before I had always felt guilty about not spending more time with her. Telling my boyfriend about how special she was and how I missed our little time together--and crying--made me realize that I had loved her. Then I could start forgiving myself.
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Old 04-18-2005, 01:46 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Thank you all so much for your support & sympathy. I am doing much better. I have now realized that no matter what happened, I cared so much for Co-Co and I believe he knows that. I am thinking about getting another bunny in the future. Whenever I think about him now I no longer begin to cry. But I still think it will take me awhile before I can fully move past this. Farmers/pet stores should know not to sell bunnies at such a young age. I pray that no one else has to have a tragedy like this happen to them.
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Old 04-18-2005, 06:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, Wesley. When you are ready to try again, I'm sure you will be a very good pet owner. You obviously care a great deal. Thanks for letting us know how you're doing.
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Old 04-18-2005, 01:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Wesley, it takes a while for the pain to ease, but, even though you will never forget CoCo, time will help you to adjust. It's very sad that her life was so short, but in no way was it your fault. God bless you and give you peace of mind.
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