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Old 01-08-2013, 01:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Grieving in Ohio

Hello me and my girls are looking for fellow cat lovers who understand loss and for reading about other people's good and bad experiences as well witout being told how silly we act over our cats. I am38 and have an 18 and 13 year old daughters. We have a black stray kitten (spooky) who came to our home a week before Halloween, starved and injured an she was probably only about 4 weeks old. We took her in and nursed her to health and she is a joy.
This past Friday night our house cat Bruty, stopped eating and drinking that evening and was very lethargic. I had told my husband 1st thing in morning I was taking him to the vet. Spooky who usually aggravates Bruty until he gets up and plays with her, had simply stayed curled up by him with her chin layer on his side all night. This prompted more concern to me, about 1am I noticed him breathing rapidly. I felt his nose (dry) and give him water by a syringe. And pet and tried to cam him. I started looking up symptoms online and had thought gastro problems (we had tried a new food recently) and he had thrown up a couple of times, nothing drastic or out of the ordinary. So I stayed up til 5 am with him giving him 3cc's of water at a time til I passed out, his breathing seemed slower and him more alert.
The next morning I woke up at 10 am, Bruty was the same. So me and my girls left for the vet. Right off of the bat the vet told us to consider euthanizing him, that he was suffering. I could not understand that I said no I want to take him home slow his breathing and we will take it fom there. Not to make this longer than it is. Bruty. Who was 1 1/2 years old, healthy and had all his shots was in Chf, dr. said as young as he was probably a birth defect, no bacteria in fluids drawn off and heart was almost double the size in x - ray, the Dr. tried drawing fluid off and Lasix, bruty had deteriorated so fast he had progresses to open mouth breathing, gasping, sunken in sides and nose and gums cyanotic,and that was after being on oxygen for an hour an the other treatment. When seeing him like that and struggling to breath I finally understood why the vet suggested euthanization. This was sudden and we were not prepared for this outcome. He had bee active up until about 9pm. We said our goodbyes and left the vet, Bruty was unique, I have lost pets in the past but have never grieved like this, I don't know if its seeing my girls in pain, the way this happened or what. My biggest issue I am facing is my 13 yr old had a dream that he was mad at us for what we did. My 18 year old has read up on how it can be treated. This is the first cat I had to make that decision, did I act to rashly? Should I have gave it more time? The vet assured me that even if I took him to a hospital it would result in a more costly euthanization. Anyone else been in this boat,we made the decision together how do ease my children guilt?
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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You did what you could. You loved Bruty a d he was suffering. I am really sorry for your loss.i had a St. Bernard that was the love of my life. Like your kitty she started going downhill really fast. When we took her to the vet, she did X-rays and found lung tumors and an enlarged heart. She too was suffering and in pain. My husband and I made the decision to put her to sleep. That was almost two years ago and I still have not gotten over losing her. I have the kitties that are a great comfort to me. I love them to death, much to my husband's dismay (he likes animals, just thinks I baby them too much). I just think Lilly was very dear to me. She came at a time in my life when I really needed her. Just give yourselves and your girls time. You loved Bruty, took good care of him and stayed with him until the end. I am sure he knew that he was loved. I wish nothing but the best for you and your girls.
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm very sorry for your loss. You did what you could to help this cat in the short time he was with you.
It's normal to grieve for a pet.
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Old 01-08-2013, 03:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I am sorry for your loss. Bruty is in a better place now.
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Old 01-08-2013, 03:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I am so sorrry for you loss! This is doubly sad because it involves children and death is difficult to adjust to for any one, let alone a child. You just have to try and accept (and tell your 13 yo) that the vet made the right call. They are trained - we are not. They make the big bucks to make the hard calls. There are some vets that are probably not that great, but I do believe that 99% act in the best interest of the animal more often than not. I know you are hurting, but it won't help to second guess your decision and beat yourself up. I'm positive it was the right call based on what you wrote. Very best wishes.
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Old 01-08-2013, 03:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcia View Post
I am so sorrry for you loss! This is doubly sad because it involves children and death is difficult to adjust to for any one, let alone a child. You just have to try and accept (and tell your 13 yo) that the vet made the right call. They are trained - we are not. They make the big bucks to make the hard calls. There are some vets that are probably not that great, but I do believe that 99% act in the best interest of the animal more often than not. I know you are hurting, but it won't help to second guess your decision and beat yourself up. I'm positive it was the right call based on what you wrote. Very best wishes.
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My vets and their staff have been very gentle and loving towards my cats!

They always ask about the cat that I am not brining in. lol
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Old 01-08-2013, 04:25 PM   #7 (permalink)
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You've been through a horrible experience but everything you did was done with love. Please tell your daughter that your little darling is not angry.
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thanks to all for your words of comfort it has helped the girls and me a great deal. We only had him a brief time but he had a huge impact on us all. My father became very ill and depressed this whole past year. We live with him and I took care of him. He was weak and depresses and Brutus would sit on my fathers rollator walker and meow and bat at my dad till he took bruty a ride. Some days that was the only exercise he would get and would lift his spirits. Bruty full of attitudy would not let him quit walking until he was done, if my dad stopped he would bat at his hands ( never scratching him) till he felt it was enough, he did what I couldn't do, motivated my dad. Who has recovered well. I think Bruty had a big part in his recovery as his personal trainer. I'm a nurse who works with mentally ill and a lot of depressed elderly people. Pet therapy works wonders cats are just amazing creatures.
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Old 01-09-2013, 07:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Have your daughter read "Rainbow Bridge". A friend sent it to me when we lost our first cat Annie. I had never read (or even heard of it) before and it was a great comfort to think that she is whole and happy now.
The Rainbow Bridge Poem - A Pet Loss Poem


RainbowBridge.com
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
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If you took pictures of him, it might help to make a memory book. You can put pictures in it and jot down memories of the good things and fun times that you once had.

Right now you are hurting from the loss, but some day you will be able to look back and be thankful for the time he was with your family.
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