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Help: Just got a new kitten and my old cat HATES her

7K views 21 replies 8 participants last post by  3furbabies 
#1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Ok guys so I decided to rescue this beautiful little female kitten. I have Jinx who is 1.5 years old and I've had him 1 year 3 months. I introduced them slowly and things seemed to be going ok. A couple hours later he was hissing and in return she hisses and makes that guttural noise. He has swiped at her and hit her a few times but its not been with claws. I also changed the litter to fresh litter. They have their own feeding dishes with a mutual fountain in the middle.

I was up and down all last night just to make sure things didn't escalate. This morning he is still aggressive and even hissing at me sometimes when I touch him after touching her. He has never hissed at me before. I sent him to our bedroom for a while. I thought about getting Comfort Zone to help the transition. I'm worried because my boyfriend and I both work during the day.

I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal because in general, Jinx is so mild mannered and laid back. He gets along with everyone. One thing I thought was her foster parents have a 27 pound male cat--could his scent possibly be on Pia and that's what is causing the over aggression? Or is this t caliber of aggression normal?

Any help/info is appreciated.
 
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#6 ·
Definitely introduced them too fast. The kitten should be isolated in a "safe" room and the "incumbent" cat given run of the house the majority of the time. By putting him in a room away from the humans you are punishing him for acting on his instincts...this new little interloper is invading his territory and he's defending it. They should not be given free run of the house together for days or even weeks. Leaving them home alone together even longer.

You've been give a link to one good introduction article. Google "cat introduction" and you'll find many more. I also recommend getting Cat vs Cat by Pam Bennett Johnson (or Johnson Bennett...I can never remember which it is)...excellent info for multi cat households.

The good news is that kitten to young adult intros usually go fairly quickly and easily when done right. This really shouldn't take more than a few days to a week...but you need to proceed at their pace, not yours.

Oh...and another reason for isolating the new little one for a few days is to ensure that she is healthy, especially since she's a rescue. It may not be immediately obvious that she has fleas, parasites, ringworm etc and you don't want to pass that on to your current cat if you can help it.
 
#7 ·
Small suggestion: let them have each others blankets so they really get used to each others smells before re-introducing.

I was fortunate enough to have the world's easiest introduction with the last two youngsters I brought home but, even then, we had a blanket they had been using in the sanctuary laid out on the living room floor for a couple of days before they arived so all the cats could have a good sniff.
 
#8 ·
It's true you need to separate them or some time and let your original cat used to the idea that there's a new cat around and he's staying. What we did is separate for about a week before we started small introductions. The first introduction was my husband walking into the room holding our original cat just so he could make eye contact. Then the second time; still holding him he would stay for longer. Third time we let him walk into the room on his own terms while we supervised and so on. Each visit got longer. There's always going to be hissing and swiping during those times but that's just him saying, " hey, I'm boss here, and this is my territory."
The hissing and swiping will eventually stop, it just takes time.
My first cat doesn't like it when the others get too close while he's near me, or he doesn't like them getting too close while he's eating his treats. He gets what I call, territorial and I understand.
I always try to intervene before a "situation" happens, but sometimes the newer residents just have to learn. ( don't get too close while eating, let the other cat have his "special time.". It's amazing, but they do learn. And before you know it, everyone's playing together and seeking each other out for company.
Be sure the true aggressiveness has stopped ( where someone is likely to be injured ) before leaving them home alone together.
 
#9 ·
The first introduction was my husband walking into the room holding our original cat just so he could make eye contact. Then the second time; still holding him he would stay for longer.
I don't recommend this at all...it's a great way to get bitten or scratched. Better to let them see each other by propping the door open an inch or two or through baby gates.
 
#10 · (Edited)
Hey guys, thanks for the help. I realize that I did introduce them too soon and have been doing better about keeping them separated. I give them there own time + time together with me. The only reason I sometimes put my guy in the bedroom as well is because that's where he is a lot so he's very territorial plus I want to give her a chance to explore. Lots of times when I go in the bedroom to retrieve him (its never for a long amount of time) he's on his favorite blanket making eyes with me as I walk in.

While she was a "rescue" the people who rescued her had her up to date on immunizations, spaying and even treated her for ear mites. They wanted to keep her but they have a 27 pound main-****, 2 other cats inside, 4 outside cats, a dog, bird and a daughter in college lolllll! I say get rid of the others and keep her (joke). I'm glad that she made the decision to put her up for adoption. I also use Revolution on Jinx and will do so on her when its time. Ironically he has his routine checkup/immunizations in two weeks and I've scheduled Pia for a checkup next week. I wrote a separate post in error when I should have responded here... I've copied below ....

So its been a busy two days. I'm a wee bit sleep deprived due to the new kitten but its well worth it. I'm puzzled by Jinx's behavior. I have now started to separate them more throughout the day. I make sure to spend time with the other while one is in a room and then I alternate and spend time with the other. Separating seems to calm them both down. When I'm sitting down, I usually let them together for a while and there seems to be a lot of curiosity going on. Jinx is still lightly tapping her (no claws) however, he is also doing other things.

He's been batting his eyes at her, starring at her curiously, if she's somewhere, he'll lay down 2-3 feet away on his side with his front paws up making eyes. But if she tries to walk by, he jumps up--sometimes he swats her and chases her under the bed or other times he just follows her with his eyes. He'll run up on her like he's gonna hit her but he stops and wants to sniff and she hisses and then he either backs off or may hiss back. His behavior towards her almost seems that he is becoming more curious and wants to play? I'm curious to know your thoughts.

She has become more bold with him as well. This morning she kept pushing her ball over his way and running up to it even when it was right in his face. He looked baffled that she even tried it and hissed somewhat but didn't hit her or move. One other thing, for instance now I have Jinx in here in the office with me. I'm letting Pia get a run of her new home. Jinx is whining and begging to get out. And earlier when I had her in the bedroom by herself, he was outside of the bedroom whining--almost like he wanted to her to come out.

I know that it is a process and will take a while before they are BFF's but I do feel like they'll eventually be buds. They have improved greatly since Friday so there is some progress there. I have been making sure to rub them both at the same time and maybe alternate hands so that I put the other scent on each. I also have been given treats when they are both in the room and making sure to talk to them both and just show them love esp Jinx so that he is not threatened.

Update of the update: OMG, she just hopped up on him and laid down and batted her eyes, his eyes were big for a while then he started giving lovey dovey eyes and shook her and she fell into the crook of his paw. He's licking her head now and she's purring!
 
#12 ·
That's exactly what it is: a little furry family and I couldn't love mine more. The part about watching their friendship grow and creating that bond is truly one of the best experiences you will have with them. I love to watch mine play hide and seek while sometimes pouncing on the other one as they quickly pass by. .......not sure how I ever got by without them........ So much joy!
 
#14 ·
So I tried Feliway and within hours, I noticed increased aggression in Jinx. He went from a few love taps to chasing her down and pouncing when we were integrating them. This morning, he slept in the room and my boyfriend slept up front with Pia and when they first met, they touches noses, rubbed a little. The minute they got near the room with the Feliway he was pouncing on her and the most aggressive attacks I have witnessed! I unplugged it. I realize that some have success when others don't. I just felt like that might be the culprit. I hope Amazon takes it back :(
 
#15 ·
Just wanted to add, don't think he hates her, he's just defending territory as cats do. Prince and Niki fight all day (she came to live with us 7 months ago), then the instant I open the door of the apt., they run outside and become best friends. Last night they were lounging in the building lobby, I went downstairs to bring them back home, Niki wanted to come and Prince didn't. They'd been there for about half an hour together happily, yet the moment Niki climbed into the elevator with me, Prince started crying for me to come take him too. This happens a lot, which means as much as he looks like he hates her, he feels "at home" as long as she is with him.
 
#16 · (Edited by Moderator)
Awww, I know that he doesn't. That was just my human distress describing it. These days they are sniffing one another, rubbing just a little, making eyes and laying together. However one false move and he paws her. He acts affectionate then hits her. They are still separated while we are at work. Using Feliway made his behavior even worse imo. He went from just tapping her to pouncing on her and trying to pin her down.
 
#18 ·
Hey guys. Just a little update. The past couple of days have been confusing to me. We are still keeping them separate, her in the bedroom and he runs free throughout the house during the day. When we are home, we allow them both to come out but don't force them to like each other. They have started touching noises when they first see each other in the mornings or after separation. Pia is now allowing Jinx to sniff her and she is sniffing him.

He plays with her. At first I thought he was bullying but then I realized that he might be playing (maybe a little too rough IMO). He will lay down on his side, raise his paws up and blink at her. Then he might run up to her and tap her on the side and take off running. She has started chasing him back now! So he'll chase and tap her then take off running, then she chases him and taps him and takes off running and it goes on. Sometimes she does cry out if he runs really fast and jumps or pins her down but after observing the little hellion{lol} I do think that sometimes she does it b/c she knows we'll come running; however, I do keep a close eye on them.

There still is some jealousy with him and he has started biting her just a little on the tail and neck. I looked it up and was told it was a dominance thing as well. I wonder why did he start doing that now? I just noticed it the past couple of days. He also sits in front of places where she is. Like she is playing in the bathroom and he's sitting there in the doorway watching, not playing much but the minute she runs by, I'm sure he'll swat at her side. IMO his aggression has calmed down. If anything he plays a wee bit too rough sometimes. The hardest part about the whole aggression thing had to be keeping quiet and not intervening. I won't lie, it was hard and sometimes I did intervene but allowing things to run its course seems to be working out.

We do make sure to pay extra attention to him and I still slip him special treats and hugs and kisses. I love him so much, I would never abandon my baby. I understand how he could take it as that and become jealous. All in all, I think there has been some improvement. Honestly, once he is sleeping in the room again, I think it'll get better. I read that it is important to let your kitty sleep with you for reassurance and trust (Is that correct?). My boyfriend and I make sure that one of us always sleeps up front with him but its not the same. I can't wait until they are good enough to sleep together with us, one big happy family :) We said we might try all sleeping together this weekend sometime since we are both off but I'm not 100% sure yet.

Thanks for reading my long update :) (((HUGS)))
 
#19 ·
Sounds like everything is working out. I know it's hard not to intervene when play gets a little ruff. But remember, they are speaking in their own little kitty language that only they understand. It's how they communicate. I can tell when my girl has had enough from our male cat and that's when I walk over with a shake of my finger or a clap and say "okay, that's enough!". But I never touch him. I always want to make sure all my interactions with him are positive and I never want him to perceive me ever in a negative way.
He gets it. And if he gives me "a sad look". Like "what?". I scoop him up and love on him. I tell him, "moms not mad at you, but Hermione has had enough.". It seems to work for me. In all the time I've had him, coming on four years now; he's never acted afraid of me and that's how I want it.
As far as sleeping arrangements go, I've always slept with kitty's so as not to have them fearful at night. Once the new kitten is integrated fully with the family then all the cats sleep with us. I put a litter box in the room with the door shut so they have to stay in the room. Eventually you will be able to sleep with door open at night and all your fur babies are right there with you.
Worked every time!
 
#20 ·
Hey guys :)
Just a little update on my wittle family. Things are somewhat better but not quiet there. My boyfriend and I realized the other day that Jinx is more aggressive when I'm around. On Friday my bf was off and they were able to roam around some, he said maybe one little hissing match broke out but they played and chased all day. The minute I got home Jinx became aggressive and started his usual shenanigans.

Saturday night we fell asleep before putting everyone up and to my surprise I woke up @ 5 am with both cats on my bed asleep. I greeted Jinx and then Pia came over and greeted and I could see his eyes get clear and I knew at that moment, the truce was OVER lol. He was aggressive within 5 minutes. However at least there was some progress made right? They do play some, he'll chase and swipe her and she does the same thing but.........

He has stared biting her like on the front of the neck, tail and back. WTH? He doesn't even swipe her anymore, he just bites. . Even when I feel that he is too aggressive, she always goes back to play. She will cry out and sometimes he will stop and other times I'm not sure that he would if I didn't call out to them. I could have sworn I seen him try to mount her today. Sometimes she has had enough and she'll walk right up to him and whack the crap outta him.

He has also taken up to whining. Even if we are in the room with him, he'll walk back and forth and cry. I always go to him and I can't stress how much attention I pay this little booger ! It's not enough though... He seems so sad and distant. We had a few rituals pre- Pia... 1) He would attack my feet every morning and run away like he was playing (I always got so tickled by it) 2) He would be waiting for us at the door when we come home from work, meowing and talking and 3) He always "helped" me get ready in the morning and shower in the evening. None of that now :(

I won't lie, I'm frustrated and over the hissing and fighting. I've been down because he seems so sad. To an extent I feel like I betrayed him. I loveeeeeeeee my little Pia but if I would have known it would be this hard on him (or me for that matter) I may not have gotten her. It kills me to see him so unsure and sad. There is no turning back now. I just keep telling myself it will get better one day and they'll be the best of buds. Its hard though.

I really appreciate all of the help and encouragement. Its nice to have people with similar interest to talk to. I ask a lot of questions and often make mistakes but I appreciate the patience that some have had with me going through this ordeal. I have attached a pic of them on the cat mansion the other day :) They look REALLY cute! I can't wait for more moments like this.
 

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#21 ·
Hang in there! I went through the same things with my (Little Man). He would sleep under my chin every night. Follow me from room to room no matter how long or short the visit was, watch me get ready in the morning etc., but when I got the new kitty everything changed, it was like he was mad at me, like I somehow "betrayed" him.
It does get better. In fact, of the three cats I have, they seek each other out the most for playtime and roughhousing.
To get your Jinx back to where he was; all I can say is re-affirm, re-affirm, re-affirm........did I mention re-affirm? Re-ffirm your affection for him. Go out of your way to make him feel special. I do head rubs, my face against his, I tote him around like he's king, I bring him to bed every night, I slow blink at him all the time, and returns the favor. Also, he save my affection for the new kitty when he's not in eyes view for the mean time. Because he stopped laying nnext to me every night, (although he takes a spot by my feet instead), I go to him. I switched to the bottom of the bed and cuddle him. It's amazing, it really works. He's following me around again, crying for me when I'm not in view and coming to me for love and loud purrs.
What ever your efforts are now, I say triple them. It has really done wonders for him.
Don't stress, the whole waking up and finding them sleeping on the bed together is a very good sign.
 
#22 ·
Give it time. Sounds like you and the kitties are on the right track and things will settle down in a few months. My first two I never had to intro because they were around the same age and friends from the rescue. The third cat is 6 so there were some issues, she was an ex breeding cat(she's a ragdoll) who misses her ragdoll siblings. She did not accept the kittens right away cause they were much younger then her. One of the kittens adored her right away but sasha(the new older one) smacked her around when she came too close. She also would not let them come near her while she ate.

The other kitten has territorial issues so she was the one starting the growling/swatting when sasha was near, she also sat on top of the little box and smacked her when she was using it(only did this when she was in 'her' box). I would keep Sasha in a seperate room while we were not home but it got to the point where she wanted out to join the house hold so I let her. She still hissed and swatted for a while(only with the territorial cat and the dog) but 5 months and a new house later and they are all great together.

She is still scared of the dog but not as bad. She now shares food, cuddles and grooms both of the other cats. She also plays with them and chases with them both. Not as much since she is older but joins them a few times a day.

Hang in there it will get better :)
 
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