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post #1 of (permalink) Old 04-06-2005, 02:41 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 937
Cat's Law of Physics

Cats' Laws of Physics

Law of Cat Inertia -- A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion -- A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetis -- All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics -- Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching -- A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping -- All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation -- A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Acceleration -- A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance -- Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration -- No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance -- A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation -- Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation -- Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation -- If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction -- Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking -- A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag / Box Occupancy -- All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment -- A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption -- A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement -- A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing -- A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

Law of Fluid Displacement -- A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest -- A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection -- Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition -- A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter
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