I think first things first. Up to this point, you've turned your trimming sessions into wrestling matches. I'd say, get your cat used to being held, first. Not all cats like being held. But if you work on it slowly and make it a pleasant experience every time, and let her go when she's had enough, then gradually over a long period of time, she'll get used to it if not actually like it. In the meantime, you'll probably have to have someone else do the clipping so she doesn't associate you with it. Couldn't you have it done cheaper by a groomer?