Why don't people understand? - Rant - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-07-2008, 12:10 AM Thread Starter
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Why don't people understand? - Rant

How do you make people understand about spaying/neutering? I swear there are so many things that lead me to believe my mother is not my real mother!!! Her logic is seriously flawed. On several things but here is one example:

Recently a non-friendly outside cat she feeds (whether or not she considers that her cat or not I don't know, but in my opinion irrelevant) had 4 kittens. Before the kittens, my mom regularly fed 3 cats. That mamma cat and two cats she thinks are her babies (now grown). None have homes, so I assume not fixed. And none of them will let people near them.

She decided to keep 2 kittens as inside cats and was going to take the other 2 to the local shelter. I asked her to please let me make a Craigslist ad at the least to try to find them homes first. Which I did. She got 2 calls, both of which we no call no shows.

So now she is considering taking in the 2 non-friendly cats from outside and basically "replace" the two non-friendly outside cats with the two boy kittens. She plans to fix the mamma who has become more friendly since having the kittens and she will be her outside cat.

I asked her "Do you have enough money to fix ALL 4 kittens plus the mama?". I asked because I know my mom barely has money to pay rent. Her answer was "why should I have to fix my MALE cats to prevent OTHER peoples females from getting pregnant?... That's their problem." This statement made me want to scream as it is probably the most ignorant thing I have ever heard, but remember this is my mother. She asked me "Do you know what I mean?". I tried to be respectful as possible and simply stated "No, I don't agree with that at all." She changed the subject instantly.

I really think this is a matter of education. I know she is a good person with a big heart for animals. Which is why this confuses me. And there are SO many people in the world like this. ALOT back home - It's a small town and its the type of town that no one leaves and people just don't think out of the box, not too smart etc. I don't mean to sound harsh but its the truth, its why I left !!!!

Anyways, I didnt mean for this to be so long but it kills me that my own mother is one of these people. So I searched and found her a local rescue group. They posted an ad on Craigslist saying they spay and neuter for $25. Plus I told her whatever she decides, if she gets rid of any of them, to try the rescue group first. She was expecting to pay $75 to spay the 2 females she is keeping indoors so I am assuming now she should be able to fix all 5 at $25 each and keep them all. But as for the other 2 non-friendly, non-fixed cats, I guess she plans to take to the shelter.

What I want to see happen is fix the mama and all 4 kittens if she really is going to keep them all and get the other two into the rescue. I'm going to try to call her and see what she is doing and try to persuade her into doing what's right. My mom is the type that does whatever she wants, which is usually just whats most convenient for her, and no one can tell her what to do.

What do you think I can do to try to handle the situation from 7 hours away? I just don't want to see all these strays producing strays. It's not right. I know she is in a terrible financial situation but that does not mean non-neutered males should be running the neighborhood.


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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-07-2008, 06:12 AM
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Its tricky. I guess the way I'd try to do it is to point out the health benefits of getting the Toms neutered. You might want to point out that they are less likely to roam, less likely to get into cat fights etc. And of course - if they are in the house - they wont spray everywhere if they are fixed! Well - at least they are much less likely to spray.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-07-2008, 09:29 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks. I will try to research something and email it to her regarding that things your mentioned. She might listen if she reads it somewhere. I think it just mostly bothers me because it shows that people are only worried about themselves. People don't realize the things they do affect others, whether it be animals or other people. I guess "out of sight, out of mind". It's so frustrating...

*sigh....


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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-07-2008, 11:37 AM
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I think you have to take her financial state into account.
She is doing what she can afford and by fixing her females at least they aren't producing any more kitten litters. I understand the males can/will still roam and breed other females, but she needs to take care of what she can take care of, first.
Can you offer to pay for fixing the males for her, as an incentive?

Here is another angle for argument:
The more cats that arrive UNspayed/neutered and she feeds, the more kittens will be born and brought to the food. More and more kittens from the litters will survive and eat the food she provides until eventually there are more cats than food, then the numbers will begin to decline as some do not get proper nutrition and their health will suffer.
Yes, it is nice to just feed them and feel good about it, but you also have to be aware of what your limits are, because by placing food you are changing the dynamics of their survival.

Good luck, I know how frustrating it can be.
When I came home from the hospital I developed an infection and called a neighbor who is a nurse at our local Doctor's clinic. I was very thankful that she came, but we started talking about cats because she saw mine and she made a comment about how she feels all female cats need to have a litter of kittens before they were spayed.

I decided to not say anything. First, I just didn't have any energy. Second, I did not want to alienate her when she was so kind to drop everything at home and come over to me when I called. Finally, I don't think I could have got through to her about the importance of spay/neuter in the short amount of time I had and with my panicked mode of thought at the moment because of worry over my condition.
I may try again later, when I see her at the clinic for my checkup. I'll be prepared and show her how 1 cat, having 4 kittens, 2M/2F, and all the females having litters with 2 females each, how those numbers will quickly add up to homeless cats.
Black and White Mathematics. Maybe that will get through?
h



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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-07-2008, 11:57 AM
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Do you have any TNR programs in your area that can come out and neuter the feral colony?
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-07-2008, 01:21 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi n Q
I think you have to take her financial state into account.
She is doing what she can afford and by fixing her females at least they aren't producing any more kitten litters. I understand the males can/will still roam and breed other females, but she needs to take care of what she can take care of, first.
Can you offer to pay for fixing the males for her, as an incentive?
You're right about the financial thing. I know she does not have a lot of money that's why I really didnt give her a hard time, only stated that I didnt agree. I think I am going to offer to pay if she really does keep them. She didnt mention anything about money or not being able to afford it. I really think she believes what she said, "It's the person with the female cat's problem." I guess that's true but in my opinion does not mean that it is right. I just mentioned the money thing because fixing them all is expensive and I know she does have any to spare.

I was just super irritated last night and typing it all out made me feel a lot better. You know how little things build up and then you just freak out?? Yeah, my mom drives me up the wall with her "logic" all the time but she hit the soft spot when she said that about cats.

I know what you mean about "deciding not to say anything". People who dont understand that you are spaying and neutering for a larger cause than just having one of YOUR cats have kittens, think you are crazy when you start ranting and talking about "all the cats and kittens being put to sleep everyday" and the overpopulation. They just stop listening and/or think you're a nut. Which is why I didnt say anything except I dont agree and hooked her up with a rescue group. I will have to check about the TNR thing. I dont live there anymore and really have no idea.

Thanks for your thoughts tho, I appreciate it.


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