Argh! >:[ - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 03:15 AM Thread Starter
 
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Argh! >:[

Alright, so I've never had a really good relationship with my parents. My mom has always been very cruel towards me ever since I was little, and my father has always been too busy to pay any attention to me or help me get through my mom's treatment or anything. I suffered a lot growing up.

So I agreed to come stay with them with my cat for awhile, and everything was going well for a long while.
He is now a full grown cat, and has NEVER EVER been outside. I don't WANT him to go outside. I gave that rule, and they were fine with it.

Lately, my mom's been being an utter pain. She's taking his collar off or complaining about it all the time and saying it's "too tight" or "hurting him" and that cats shouldn't wear collars. I assure you, his collar is already waay looser than it should be (I had to loosen it just to make her stop whining.)

She's also using methods of punishment I told her she wasn't allowed to like scaring him and spanking him and squirting him with a squirt bottle.

I give her rules, and she breaks them. She's tearing apart everything I've set up for my cat as far as habits and rules and stuff. I've been working on this for his whole life and she's just messing it all up.

Tonight, I just got home and I find them all outside with the doors open to the outside and the cat isn't inside the house. I lose it. I go out and ask them what's going on, and my mom confesses that she's been bringing him out EVERY night the past week or two. The worst part is that when I finally found where he was in the back yard, he was about to escape through the fence and make a break for it. I have no doubt in my mind he would have never found his way home, or one of the VERY mean and territorial male strays just two houses down would have torn my little lover boy (who has nail caps on) up. Not only that, but he now thinks he can go outside whenever he wants. I have a whole new list of things I never had a problem with before that I'm going to struggle with for a very long time now.

He has developed SO many bad habits he's never had before, AND he will barely let a person near him anymore. Whenever you come near him, he looks scared and runs off like you're going to yell at him for something. The only person here he seems to like is me, and whenever I'm home he refuses to leave my side if other people are home.

I'm really sick of this whole situation, but for the next few months I really don't have much of a choice but to tough it out. Gahh. I'm so irritated. I can't wait to get out of this, although as far as habits go I think it might already be too late for my kitty. Rrrr.

I hate it here.
All I do is fight with my parents and get angry. I need to get back out.

Oh, another thing I need to mention: She takes off his collar before letting him out.. And he is VERY person-friendly and a nipper when he plays. If he didn't have his rabies tag on, he might get immediately put down... If the rest of the entire scenario weren't bad enough. Grr.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 03:23 AM
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Re: Argh! >:[

Are you staying with your parents to help THEM out or for yourself? If it's for them, tell them they must respect your rules for your cat or else you're leaving. If you're staying with them to get back on your feet, I guess all you can do is sit your Mom down and try to make her understand why you have certain rules for your cat. Not sure how much good that will do....

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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 03:30 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: Argh! >:[

Quote:
Originally Posted by marie73
Are you staying with your parents to help THEM out or for yourself? If it's for them, tell them they must respect your rules for your cat or else you're leaving. If you're staying with them to get back on your feet, I guess all you can do is sit your Mom down and try to make her understand why you have certain rules for your cat. Not sure how much good that will do....
It was originally for them, but because of what I had to set up in order to stay here I won't be able to get back out in a few months. The way they were before I finally kinda "moved" in convinced me everything was going to be fine, and my mom is a huuge cat fan (but majorly old fashioned, and has only had outdoor-indoor cats) so I thought it would be fine there as well.. If worse comes to worse, I might have to put my cat back at my boyfriend's house for awhile. It should be fine, he spent his first few months there, but I kind of dislike the idea of being away from my baby. :[
I'd still do it if I had to, though... Or I guess I could work really hard at getting another place. I had some plans set up for early next year, but I might just change them I guess. We'll have to see.

Gahh, yeah. You're right. I am definitely having a long talk with my mom tomorrow. If they can't respect me, I really don't know if I can stand being here.. Especially when they do that kind of stuff to my baby boy. He's such a good boy and he doesn't deserve it.. And I don't want him getting lost or hurt.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 04:08 AM
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Re: Argh! >:[

Maybe it would help to put all the do's and don't's in writing and explain each point very calmly. For instance, tell your Mom that with nail caps, your cat has no protection being outside, but if you remove them, they run the chance of getting things torn up in the house - furniture, curtains, etc. That might work.

If this doesn't work, leaving your cat at your boyfriend's house is probably the next best thing.

Families are so hard sometimes.

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 05:53 AM
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Re: Argh! >:[

I would go back to your own place, or send the cat to your boyfriend's house. I would also personally treat your mother like she treats your cat.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 08:52 AM
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Re: Argh! >:[

I'm with Hugh. Every time Mom gets out of line, you need to squirt her with the water bottle, and then spank her. She knows what she's doing, and she's just doing it to be naughty.

Have you though about crating your mom while you're out during the day?
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 04:32 PM
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Re: Argh! >:[

For the sake of your cat, you know what you need to do. Your mother has already agreed to abide by your rules for your cat and not followed through.
I would have no hesitation in having your cat stay with your boyfriend.

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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2008, 11:14 PM
 
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Re: Argh! >:[

I was almost in same boat as you were. The only difference is i was staying with my dad and step mom and it involves my dog. It really gets frustrating when someone undo all of your hard work and training. Needless to say her and I are not very close after that.

Luckly i can re train my dog to undo all of his bad habits, i assume it'd be even harder to undo bad habits on a cat. I think i would have lost it too.

I'm about to go on vacation in about a month and i'm looking to board my animals, my step mom says " i can watch them for you" I was thinking " yea right over my dead body!" i know i'd return to a big mess. I can picture 2 of my cats that are indoor cats only will go missing because they were let out and get eaten by coyotes ( my dad and step mom live on a farm property)and both of my dogs gaining some bad habits. Terrific picture isn't it?. I know i wouldn't be a very happy person when i return.

I totally know what you're going through.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-13-2008, 06:09 PM
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Re: Argh! >:[

icedtei, if it were me, I'd draw up a written contract and bring your mom to a notary to sign it. Have each rule in its own section, and have her initial each section, then a concluding paragraph something like, "I, the undersigned, agree to follow and abide by the rules and guidelines laid out in each of the above sections.", and have her sign the whole thing. I know it sounds cold, but it's no more cold than what she is doing to your cat.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-14-2008, 09:27 AM
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Re: Argh! >:[

I would put your cat at your boyfriends house till you move out. Yes it will be hard but at least you know that he will be safe and taken care of. Could you stay at your bf till you get your own place? I would be looking for anyway out of there!
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