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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-03-2008, 06:56 PM Thread Starter
 
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was it just a bad idea?

I mean, getting a cat together with a 2 year old? It's so frustrating. I know you all are probably sick of me complaining about the situation. But I have to know, from a cat lover's perspective, is it fair to have this cat be treated this way? I have done everything. I have read him books about being nice to animals. I have put him in the naughty spot (up to 10 times a day!!!). I don't know what else to do. Please help.
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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-03-2008, 07:05 PM
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

Is it fair?
Maybe not...but, maybe it is fair...if the cat is tolerating it well, it is a good opportunity to give a cat a great home, teach a toddler about being kind to animals and listening to Mommy and for Mommy to thin her hair by pulling it out.
My Mother had always had a cat or two when my Sis and I were little. The cats were indoor/outdoor and they never ran away from home, so I guess they liked it there just fine.

As long as the cat has a place where it can retreat and be alone to feel safe and unmolested, I think it is okay. If the kitty could not get away from the mauling attentions of a toddler I think it would be more problematic, because you would see the cat getting annoyed and expressing it with behavior issues involving teeth/claws. I'm pretty sure it will work itself out, but you may feel you are going crazy during the process until it does.



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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-03-2008, 08:00 PM
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

Sometimes we feel just as bad subjecting our Gracie to our teenage son ! So really, as long as your kitty can jump up high or hide out when necessary, it should work out. These are probably the most challenging times you will have, by the time your boy is a little older, all of this will have worked itself out...

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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-03-2008, 08:24 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

Today Linus grabbed Oliver's neck and bit him on the head and scratched his neck pretty good. I saw it happen and I made Oliver apologize to Linus and then put him in the naughty spot. I think the naughty spot isn't working. I'm thinking maybe if Oliver disrespects Linus that maybe Oliver shouldn't be allowed to touch Linus the rest of the day? Do you think that will work? This kid needs to learn how to be NICE!! Ugh!!
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-03-2008, 09:33 PM
 
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

What would you do if he were being mean to a baby? You wouldn't get rid of the baby, of course, but would find a quick and effective way to change his behavior.

The cat deserves no less.

If reading and timeouts don't work then take away something he likes. When you see him being rough with the cat tell him the next time he does it he will lose his favorite toy/candy/whatever for a day. Then when he doesn't play nicely follow through on the threat.

Keep a close eye on him and let him know you are unhappy with him when he's mean to the cat. Then show him how he should pet and play with the cat. Praise him highly when he does play nicely on his own.
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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-03-2008, 09:41 PM Thread Starter
 
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

I don't think he'd understand me taking things away quite yet.

Oh and he KNOWS when I'm not happy. I make that pretty clear. I also praise him A LOT for being gentle with Linus. Thinking about it now, I think the problem is with my discipline techniques. I have to find something else besides time outs. I'm going to try telling him that if he hurts kitty that he cannot touch kitty for the rest of the day. That will bother him because he really loves this kitty. It's like an "I love you-let me hurt you" relationship. They both hurt each other but they go back for more. All kidding aside, I will follow through with no touching kitty rule and hopefully that will work. Thanks for all your help.
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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-03-2008, 10:00 PM
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

Oliver will learn, it'll just take time. As for whether or not it's fair to Linus, I felt the same way sometimes after bringing the twins home. Poor gentle Cinderella, getting stuck in kitten smackdown games, with Cali on her back and Charlee counting down with her little paw. Linus will be fine. Cats are very forgiving.



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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-04-2008, 11:20 AM Thread Starter
 
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

Great picture. I notice that Linus is very forgiving otherwise he would never let Oliver near him after what he's done. I'm going to be a lot stricter on him now. This morning he already was mean to Linus so I made it so Oliver could not touch Linus for an hour. That was torture for him. He wanted to pet Linus so bad. This just might work! Cross your fingers!!
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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 07:54 AM
 
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

Maybe you could try distracting Oliver when you see him being naughty. Try giving him a new game to play or getting him to help with a chore.
I also think that children benefit from having simple explanations, so rather than getting angry and shouting, you could try just sitting very calmly together and explaining that he's hurting the cat. I know it must be hard, but try to keep calm, it will help the situation more if you're calm and in control. Two is not a great a age (so I hear), but don't let Oliver get away with it. (I remember an incident when I was very young - splashing my mom when she was bathing me, and thinking it was hilarious. She told me very calmly that the soapy water was hurting her eyes. I felt terrible because I just didn't realise. And I never did it again.)
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old 12-05-2008, 08:02 AM
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Re: was it just a bad idea?

I once pulled my aunt's dog's tail (when I was about the same age). My mother saw, and she smacked me. I never did it again.


I know I'm going to get a lot of grief for this, so save your fingers and don't do it. Both my parents smacked me and my bro when we did something especially bad, and I know it didn't have a negative effect on me. It just made me stop doing whatever it was I was doing. Oh and my bro didn't turn out to be a violent man either.

I'm not saying you SHOULD smack Oliver, as I can't tell you how to raise your child, but it's what I would do as the "naughty step" is being worn out.
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