Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her? - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 05:28 PM Thread Starter
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Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

im back with more cat stories about jade and azores. azores being the queen and jade the newbie. i really really love jade and i want to get a third cat to sort things out but hubbie says no to third cat unless some certified cat person says its ok.

so its been 6 months. their interaction had escalated to more violence. then dwindle and its back at medium level. azores makes an effort to walk past jade and ***** slap her. sorry thats the best way to explain it. its like shes thinking "im walkin im walking im walking, oh wait a tic, i just walked past jade, i need to give her a good thrashing." *wack wack wack* "ah now where was i? oh yes, im walking im walking....."

there in this stage now that jade is now defending herself. azores will *wack wack wack* and jade is like *thrash thrash run!* ill see jade chasing azores smacking her and they are really close, jade wacking azores about mid waist. when azores stops youll sometimes hear a moan and they stop, or keep fighting, and sometimes they stare and they break up. now they do this with jade chasing azores and azores chasing jade though usually jade is the one that howls to get azores to stop.

is that play fighting? i dont recall it being that way.
i also think that when they have that session jade goes pee somewhere besides the litterbox because before that started she peed like normal.

in between the beginning and current fighting trend they would walk past each other with the moaning, and azores would huff and puff. i think that period lasted about 2 weeks. thats when i thought "oh glory it is done!" but no it started back up.

so here are my questions:

-are things getting better? do you need me to give you more examples? with jade fighting back is it getting worse?
-would bringing in a male baby black kitten (love black cats love em male love kittens lol) make azores stop being some pimp with the b!tch slapping?
-should i rehome jade (take her back to the shelter) and bring home a pretty black male kitten?
-if so should i literally leave with jade and come back home with another cat that day or would that give azores a nervous breakdown and she starts pooping in the bed?
-the feliway, rubbing towels, flower essence stuff, time out in the spare room so they can reacquaint all seem to fail. did i fail?

(somedays i want to take azores back lol, but never in a million years...or kazillion.)
also jade isnt what was describe at the shelter. it should have said "shy timid cat freaks when you touch her, does not like belly rubs, tolerates being held for awhile but turns schizo and scratches you as she flees, if shes scared she pees elsewhere, is truly a scaredy cat and likes to laydown places where people walk and when you step on her she looks at you like "how could you"" instead of "loveable cat loves to be held and petted, gets along with others."

tia!!
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post #2 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 06:39 PM
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

in this situation i would beg you not to put another cat into it. Chances are it will make things even worse.

This behaviour is very similar to the way suki and whitey would behave, I found 3 things helped:

1) A plug in called Feliway. Available from your vet it is a compund of soothing cat pheremones, to help relax the tenseness.

2) Sprinkle a little cat nip in there dinners, this also helps to calm them down.

3) you need to set up 2 spaces. One for Jade to retreat to for some quite time, and the same for Azores. These two areas need to be private, maybe a room each? were there own smell is dominant, they can pee and eat in quiet. They can go there when they need some peace. And niether cat is allowed in each others 'time out space'.

Please dont get another cat untill you sort the problems you have out now.
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post #3 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 07:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

ive tried the feliway and spirit essences and it doesnt work. ive tried out the time out rooms and it doesnt work either. they either claw their way out or claw their way in, meaning both of them is on either side of the door and then thats when the hissing starts. they retreat on their own to different places and are usually fine but they both like to be around my husband and i and thats when we see them acting up, sometimes its simply then walking past each other that sets off a *smack smack* session.

i think we are going to rehome her unless someone of some professional stature (because hubbie doesnt like unlicensed opinions lol) says to try a third cat.
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post #4 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 07:41 PM
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

then speak to your vet... or an animal behaviourist.
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post #5 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 07:46 PM
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

I am not licensed, but I think this situation is NOT going well. The two cats are NOT playing, they are serious about establishing dominance between the two of them. I think it is doubtful they will ever get along. You may have to resign yourself to allowing Azores to remain an only-cat. You could wiat a bit and possibly try again with a different cat/kitten-intro, but from this end of the keyboard, it doesn't look promising.
Sorry.
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post #6 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 08:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi n Q
I am not licensed, but I think this situation is NOT going well. The two cats are NOT playing, they are serious about establishing dominance between the two of them. I think it is doubtful they will ever get along. You may have to resign yourself to allowing Azores to remain an only-cat. You could wiat a bit and possibly try again with a different cat/kitten-intro, but from this end of the keyboard, it doesn't look promising.
Sorry.
heidi
how long do you think i should wait??
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post #7 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 09:11 PM
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

Of course, if you don't like Jade's personality, you probably never will. But what do you think will happen to her? Do you have a home in mind? I don't mean to be unkind, but it's very hard on animals, especially shy ones, to be rehomed. She might live in a cage the rest of her life or get put to sleep. That's why we have to be reasonably sure it's a lifetime commitment when we adopt a pet. You might have the same problem with another kitten. Perhaps it's best to keep Azore an only cat.

I have had cats that didn't cuddle with each other, but I loved them, so that was all right. They made peace, eventually. I even had a cat who disliked me intensely, but she had personality, and it broke my heart when she died.

It's something to think about very seriously before you make a decision. I wish you well.




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post #8 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 09:17 PM
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

If the cats aren't happy and you aren't happy and hubbie really isn't happy, I don't see the solution being a 20-year sentence of being miserable for all of you. It seems like you've tried everything. I've rehomed a kitty and it was the best thing for everyone. She is the only cat in her new home and is queen of her castle. Can you rehome her without returning her to the shelter (Craigslist, etc.)?

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post #9 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 10:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

i dont think i can. i signed some paperwork that says that if i want to rehome her i have to take her back to the shelter so that she doesnt end up at a high kill shelter. they dont euthanize any pets at that shelter and seem to have a good turn around (cats adopted pretty quickly).
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post #10 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-14-2009, 11:07 PM
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Re: Been 6 Months, am i selfish to rehome her?

Oh, then I'd take her back. I loved Keesha, but Cinderella was losing fur and losing weight and it was just so tense all the time for everyone.

It sounds like it would be the best thing for everyone, including Jade. Sometimes the best thing is also the hardest. I sobbed like a baby handing Keesha over, but she really is in a wonderful new home.

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