Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great! - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 12:01 AM Thread Starter
Cat
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 161
Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

Okay, once again back to my Bella and Brandy problems.

A few members on here have probably read my long drawn out posts of these two and their interactions.

Long story short:

Brandy is a year and a half old now and Bella is 9 months. I had no problem being a one-cat family for a while, but I came in a situation were I rescued an injured kitten (Bella) with a big gash in her chest. We got her vet care, shots, and eventually spaying to find her a home. We fell in love and decided to keep her.

I've had Bella since September (can't remember exact date), and kept her separate from Brandy for a while via Vet's instructions. I knew nothing about "cat introduction" until Brandy went psycho on Bella and bit my foot which brought me here.

I've learned tons since starting the forum and hope to learn more.

Current problem:

I am giving Brandy Composure Liquid currently and using Feliway, and using Rescue Remedy for a time. She has CALMED down in a lot of ways. Almost to the point of seeming indifferent towards Bella through the gates. They got in a huge fight in December after Bella got spayed and I gave them a time off. On January 4th, I kept them separated by baby gates. Trust me, it's a hassle but I love them and wish to help. Perhaps I'm nuts on taking so long.

At night, Brandy is put in my bedroom to go to sleep, and during the day Bella is locked away in the baby gate so they can interact. That way Bella can get out and run around. Both cats seem fine with this arrangement. Bella actually LOVES to go to "bed" and will run in her room in the mornings because both of them know the rotuine. I was going to start giving them time to ineract in April, because I figured 3 months was long enough separated by baby gates.

Brandy snuck out of the bedroom last night and was wandering around and found Bella. They got in a fight, not a rip you a part I'm going to kill you fight (no scratched or fur pulled out).

The advice I need is: Where now? Do I start BACK over from the beginning, or should I move forward like nothing happen? Has anyone ever had this many issues? Or should I just accept the fact that Brandy will never accept Bella and keep them separated until I move out my of Father's house and let her stay here with him?

I'm very confused. It seems SO easy for many people that just keep them a part a few days, introduce, and move on. None of the tricks seem to be helping Brandy to cope. And it's sad because for all apparances she seems fine with Bella through the gate. No hissing, growling, or jumping at the gate now. ****, I saw them playing with a mouse through the gate the other day. I thought they were starting to like each other.

'Chelle
ChelleBelle is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 01:05 AM
Premier Cat
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Monroe, GA
Posts: 12,869
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

It sounds to me like your efforts ARE working. Can you describe their latest fight in more detail?

Were they howling and yowling?
Were they wrestling with arms around each other and when they broke apart did they ignore each other?
... or did one start to stalk and/or keep a close eye on the other?
Did they just exchange a couple hisses and swatting paws until they gave each other more personal space?

Depending on what you answer, I am still leaning towards everything you've been doing as working. You may need to just continue at this slow pace. There is no set guideline for this, the cats are ready when THEY are ready, and not a moment before.
I think you're doing good!
heidi =^..^=



Heidi n Q is offline  
post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 02:22 AM
Cat Addict
 
tanyuh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bilthoven, The Netherlands
Posts: 1,565
Send a message via MSN to tanyuh
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

I agree with Heidi, you seem to be doing very well When cats wrestle, it can look a lot like fighting, but it's perfectly normal. I think some cat wrestling is expected, especially during introductions. Don't lose hope! I think you should keep moving forward; keep up the good work!

"Good Kitty, Samhainy."
tanyuh is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 02:28 AM
Super Moderator
 
marie73's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 27,667
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

I think it's going better than you think, too.

Cinderella would run up on Cleo to intimidate her, never any real contact. That kept up for quite a few months. Cleo just stayed out of her way. They never did become friends, but your cats are younger and could eventually be best friends. Or not. Who knows? There's going to be some posturing and territory issues, but I don't think you're anywhere near throwing in the towel.

I kept my girls separated for a while, but eventually, you have to let them sort it out, starting when you'll be around to supervise, of course.

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Always in my heart, my lovely Cinderella, running free at the Bridge.
Always in my heart, my sweet Cali, running free at the Bridge.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
marie73 is offline  
post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 06:10 AM Thread Starter
Cat
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 161
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi n Q
It sounds to me like your efforts ARE working. Can you describe their latest fight in more detail?

Were they howling and yowling?
Were they wrestling with arms around each other and when they broke apart did they ignore each other?
... or did one start to stalk and/or keep a close eye on the other?
Did they just exchange a couple hisses and swatting paws until they gave each other more personal space?

Depending on what you answer, I am still leaning towards everything you've been doing as working. You may need to just continue at this slow pace. There is no set guideline for this, the cats are ready when THEY are ready, and not a moment before.
I think you're doing good!
heidi =^..^=
They were howling and yowling at each other. Brandy had backed Bella in the corner of the room so she couldn't run away. Brandy and Bella were swipping at each other with their claws, but they weren't biting at each other. It sounded worse than what it looked. I had no idea Brandy was even out until my Father yelled for me saying they were fighting. So, above is what I saw when I walked into the room.

When I called Brandy's name very loudly, she stopped, looked at me, and ran out of the room into another one (which suprised me). Usually we have to separate them by a broom or some such. I was able to get her back into my bedroom with some food persuasion and she did not act "upset" towards me.

After checking on both of them, Bella had a small scrape on her ear, and Brandy was unhurt. No fur was ripped out.

Perhaps it wasn't as bad as I thought? I just don't get while everytime there is no cage or gate in the way they fight one another. Is the barrier like a visual separation of their territory?

'Chelle

P.S. Thanks guys for the words of encouragment. Sometimes that's what you need.
ChelleBelle is offline  
post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 12:24 PM
Premier Cat
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Monroe, GA
Posts: 12,869
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

I don't think it is a 'visual' separation so much as a physical one. Without that barrier the cats are able to BE in places they are usually not and this is probably what is triggering that defensive and territorial behavior. Can you switch them up so they each get time, familiarity and the ability to spread their scent around the home AND they can see each other in each other's territories?

The fight did sound serious because of the yowling. I think it is good they didn't turn it into a full-contact encounter, but I think it sounds like you still have a ways to go...but you *are* getting there. The steps are so small you aren't seeing much progress, but in hearing about it, it sounds like you're moving in the right direction.
h



Heidi n Q is offline  
post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 02:38 PM Thread Starter
Cat
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 161
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

Hmm.... I'll see how Brandy takes being locked behind the gate. I doubt she'll accept it willingly, but I won't know until I try. I suppose it'll be a long haul, but I've gone this long so far.

Thanks for the advice, Heidi. I'll keep you guys posted if there are any improvements.

'Chelle
ChelleBelle is offline  
post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 02:41 PM
Cat Addict
 
tanyuh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Bilthoven, The Netherlands
Posts: 1,565
Send a message via MSN to tanyuh
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

Yes, Heidi gave a great suggestion. Good luck with the switch!

"Good Kitty, Samhainy."
tanyuh is offline  
post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 02:47 PM
Senior Cat
 
kwarendorf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Great Neck, NY
Posts: 724
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

I agree with Heidi about the noise level. My guys go at each other big time but it's nearly silent. When they're done the curl up around each other. When I hear any growling I break them up. These two really do love each other



kwarendorf is offline  
post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 03-09-2010, 03:01 PM
Tom Cat
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 300
Re: Is it time to throw in the towel? Any advice would be great!

I think that my Lacey is just a drama queen. ET is a big time instigator, but he gives her very fair warning. He will slink back, stare at her, raise her paws, and she doesn't go anywhere. Then he pounces on her and they roll around and she growls and cries and it sounds terrible. But then when he gets off her, she goes right back at him. Sometimes when she gets away she will hiss a bit, and sometimes ET backs off, but not always.

ET has gotten maybe 2 small scratches, one on his nose and one on his face, from her. Like kwarendorf said above, ET and Lacey go back to be being best buds after all is over with. I think Lacey is just dramatic. If she REALLY wants to be left alone and ET isn't receptive, then she finds a nice high place and he leaves her alone.

Sounds like your girls will be just fine, they are fortunate you are so patient!

-BP
ETrescued is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome