Cat drama in my house! - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 08:47 AM Thread Starter
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Cat drama in my house!

Just over a month ago I adopted Gaston from another family. My bf REALLY wanted to take him, I gave in but I did say ONLY if he got along with Peppina, my female kitten. The first thing we had to do is have him neutered as he was destroying the house! He seemed ok, was slowly calming down, etc. But now I find that there is just too much competition between him and Peppina, and since he is 5 kilos and Peppina is only 2.5, it's not really a fair fight!

I have been watching Peppina become more and more upset, she was always such a relaxed, easy going kitty. Now she is jumpy and nervous. I keep them mostly separated now and only let them together when I can supervise. Sometimes they play, sometimes it gets very rough. And Peppina has been having jumpy fear responses to every tiny thing!

She is not spayed yet, she is currently taking medication for Urinary stones and I think I have to wait until that is sorted out before spaying. I don't know if that would help with her nerves. The thing is that Gaston is becoming attached to me, he wants to sit with me and purr, etc. It makes Peppina jealous, if she sees, but also I think if I can't keep him, the longer I have him, the more upsetting it will be for him to move again.

There were other families that also wanted Gaston when we took him, the previous owner, who was a friend of my bf's sister really wanted US to take him. He has received good care and love here, but the competition with my little girl is upsetting me and her. I feel bad to give him back, he is a really nice cat, but I feel so awful seeing how upset Peppina is! My sister back home has one male and two females and she tells me the male, even though neutered, is always dominating and disturbing the females.

I feel like it's *possible* that they will get along in another few months, but probable that they wont. I think if there is another family for him, it would be better for everyone that he goes there. I just worry that he will be sad and not get as good care as he does here.

Anyone experienced with this at all? Thanks!
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 09:02 AM
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

I really don't know what to tell you. We have 3 boys and 1 girl. We have had our girl Amsterdam the longest and even though the boys are bigger than her she still finds a way to put them in their place. I don't know if it helps but all our cats are spayed or neutered. How old are your cats? maybe it has something to do with age.


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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 10:35 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

Peppina is 7 months. She has not been spayed yet, I want to do it as soon as possible!

Gaston is a year and a half. He was just neutered 1 month ago. He is getting less aggressive, but is still pretty aggressive.

Peppina tries attacking him alot too, I think she feels this is HER house and is defending her territory. We are thinking of moving to a bigger apartment with a nice terrace, maybe put in a new environment they would get along. I just don't like to risk all these broken hearts if it wont work out.

I swear this guy understands what we are talking about, even though he would have only heard Italian not English in his last house! He is acting all sad and following me around!
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 12:35 PM
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

You could try some Feliway. It's a little expensive but it is very helpful when introducing a new cat. I used it with ours. it might help in your situation...maybe make both cats a little bit more comfortable


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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 02:49 PM
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

Did you do a proper introduction or did you just put the cats together right away?
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 07:38 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

A proper introduction...probably not. I have no idea how, I only found this forum after I took Gaston, because I was having trouble!

I had to bring him here to Rome on the train from Napoli. I arrived, kept him in the cage and let Peppina see him, then introduced them in the living room. He was immediately aggressive with her and was confined to the living room for a few days. After his operation, he was much better, very quiet, recovering. Peppina was running all around and seemed very comfortable with him. They were playing. Everything was fine.

Then Peppina had her first heat. I really was NOT expecting it so soon! Gaston went back to being a super aggressive male. He kept trying to mate with her, even when the heat had passed and she was seriously rejecting his advances. He always wants to bite and lick her. She bats at him. Then they start to wrestle. Sometimes I think it's kind of like kittens wrestling together, but usually it goes too far. He is very big and strong. She can't go anywhere and do anything without him following her always trying to lick and bite.

Now Peppina has Urinary stones. She is on special diet and medication. She had one very big panic attack (my fault, I left her alone a few seconds on the harness and it got caught) But also she has become very very jumpy all the time. Nervous, skittish. She was NEVER like this before. Yesterday I was holding her and she suddenly freaked out and clawed her way free. I didn't try to hold her, but she just suddenly freaked, clawed my shoulder and ripped my shirt! Maybe it's just the stones and needing to be spayed that makes her like this, but Gaston is NOT helping.

The vet said she needs some calm and I am mostly keeping her in the bedroom. She is doing well, but a bit bored. But if I let her out, she has no peace from this guy, he will not give her any space!

This is only a one bedroom apartment, maybe it's too small for these 2 personalities? If there is no other home for him, I will keep him and try to make the best of it, but if there IS another family who wants him, maybe it's better....

People here are a bit ignorant about cats... They all prefer NOT to have them neutered. It's possible that no one will want him now that he has had the operation. Seems crazy to me, but that is what I have been told.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 09:48 PM
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

Spaying her will help big time. What he is displaying is sexual aggression towards her. I hate to say it, until she's spayed he'll probably always act aggressive towards her when she goes into heat. You don't need to get rid of him because of that. Just when she is better get her spayed.

I'm not sure what to tell you about her skittish behavior, we have holistic products in America that can help calm cats down. I have no idea what they sell in Italy. I would say lots of exercise from playing might help build her confidence levels and make her feel more calmer. Is it possible to separate the two cats when you witness the male being aggressive towards her and put him in a room so he can calm down?

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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-23-2010, 12:53 AM
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

Spaying her is the best thing you can do! I think things would definitely calm down after that. Heck, they could even be best of friends!
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-23-2010, 06:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

I really hope so! The thing is that she is NOT in heat anymore and he still acts that way. Maybe she is still giving off female scent or something, but I am worried that he has established THAT behavior toward her and wont change.
He does tent to bite a bit in his personality. He will be purring and sitting next to me and then gives me a bite! Or when I am brushing my teeth, he sneaks up and bites my foot! What's UP with that??
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-24-2010, 11:35 AM
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Re: Cat drama in my house!

Yes, definitely spaying will help calm her down and perhaps help with his behavior too.

Not sure how it is in Italy. In North America we can use something called Feliway. It's basically a scent you can use that the cats smell and it'll calm them down. Try getting some off the internet. There are also other brands, but you'll have to hunt those down.

With his behavior, it just might be his personality. Some cats are playful and nippy. Although my Miu is a kitten, (and she'll behave as such), sometimes I'll climb the stairs and she'll come running up behind me and bat or hug my legs with both paws, claws retracted. I tell her to stop it and she'll run off. She's just playing.

If he's so playful, and if you have the time, one thing to do is basically to exhaust him. He just might have too much energy to expend. Use toys to distract and play with him to wear him out. I guess you'll have to do this without Peppina watching or it might make her more jealous.

It can be a delicate balance as they will get jealous of each other and vie for attention, but that's something to be expected when owning more than one. Think about if you'll have enough time and space for both, then make your decision.
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