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post #1 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 02:10 PM Thread Starter
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Girl/Boy friend jealous of your cat

Now many of us have had their kitty get jealous of their Girl/Boy friend but what do you do when your mate is jealous of the relationship you have with your cat?
Now my ex and myself were an ordinary looking couple, we're never going to be on the cover of people magazine.
Now Samantha was a different matter entirely, she was a pure blood Blue Torbie Maine Coon Cat with a pedigree as long as your arm.
I'm not bragging but she was drop dead gorgeous and her sweet disposition was even better then her looks.
Now Samantha was 2 years old when I met my ex, spoiled rotten and totally bonded with her Papa, she was rather indifferent to other people unless they put forth the effort to win her affection.
Now my ex was jealous of Samantha and when we got a place together expected Samantha to obey her.
Samantha remained true to her nature and indifferent to my ex.
Now she would complain to me about the cat and I'd tell her Samantha's a cat you need to win her over.
Instead of this my ex felt the need to get a cat of her own, she befriended a little stray that was hanging around our house.
This was Little Chiquita, she's a good cat but sometimes especially if she see a cat through the window goes all feral and attacks Samantha.
This was a bone of contention as I would not tolerate fighting .
About a year later my ex left, her leaving wasn't cat related, the cats tolerate each other.
What ticks me off to this day is she left her cat and has never inquired about it since.
I think she only wanted a cat because I had a cat and my cat ignored her.
Samantha recently passed away at 16 and Little Chiquita now 12 has been a great comfort to me.
Anyone else have problems with their human partners and their Cat.
I can say our pets never have hidden motives, they get jealous when they believe they're not getting the attention they were used to.
The cure for that is both people bonding with the cat and loving it.
Human relationships are much harder, there's a lot of unspoken expectations.
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post #2 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 02:16 PM
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I feel sometimes like my husband gets jealous of the cats and the attention they get but he would never admit that I'm sure.
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post #3 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 02:24 PM
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I was so worried introducing MowMow to my current SO. I knew he tolerated cats and would TRY to get along because it meant a lot to me. It went down SOO differently than I anticipated. They adore each other. He has pictures of MowMow hanging in his office and uses his picture as an avatar in forums and on FB. When he's up here from AZ MowMow climbs all over him and they are best buds.

I've asked him before if it bothers him how close MowMow and I are and he thinks it's "endearing" and that we are "a package deal, he loves us both".
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post #4 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 02:40 PM
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My boyfriend and I adopted our cats together, so there wasn't much issue there. Now, my bf has had cats most of his life, and knew more about how to interact them with me, but he did get a little frustrated with Apollo at times. Apollo was a new challenge for us both, being very stubborn and hyper and difficult to train.

I used to worry that he didn't like Apollo, or regretted us getting him, but now I often see him cuddling with him, playing with him, calling him, "My boy," and such. So clearly they did manage to bond. He's never gotten jealous of the cats though. The cats like us pretty equally, and I give both him and them equal attention. And he's probably a little relieved when Apollo gives me more attention because Apollo can be...demanding. I think if anything, he's really glad we got cats because he sees how much I needed this. He's commented many times on how much happier I've been since getting cats. I just cannot thrive without some little furry companion to care for, and I was really missing my childhood dog since moving away from home.

No offense cooncatbob, but I would be very frustrated with your partner's attitude about that whole thing. I don't think I could tolerate that sort of behavior in a partner. It is a shame that she just abandoned her cat, but you are both probably better off without someone like that in your life.

Last edited by saitenyo; 06-06-2011 at 02:42 PM.
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post #5 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 02:58 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by saitenyo View Post
My boyfriend and I adopted our cats together, so there wasn't much issue there. Now, my bf has had cats most of his life, and knew more about how to interact them with me, but he did get a little frustrated with Apollo at times. Apollo was a new challenge for us both, being very stubborn and hyper and difficult to train.

I used to worry that he didn't like Apollo, or regretted us getting him, but now I often see him cuddling with him, playing with him, calling him, "My boy," and such. So clearly they did manage to bond. He's never gotten jealous of the cats though. The cats like us pretty equally, and I give both him and them equal attention. And he's probably a little relieved when Apollo gives me more attention because Apollo can be...demanding. I think if anything, he's really glad we got cats because he sees how much I needed this. He's commented many times on how much happier I've been since getting cats. I just cannot thrive without some little furry companion to care for, and I was really missing my childhood dog since moving away from home.

No offense cooncatbob, but I would be very frustrated with your partner's attitude about that whole thing. I don't think I could tolerate that sort of behavior in a partner. It is a shame that she just abandoned her cat, but you are both probably better off without someone like that in your life.
No offense taken.
I consider taking in a small furry animal a binding contact, you agree to care for and love them and they provide loyalty and unconditional love in return.
I was and still am appalled that she just left her cat like it was nothing and it speaks volumes about her character.
I still perplexed that she was jealous of Samantha, all she had to do was put forth the effort to win Samantha over, Samantha was well worth the effort, she was a gentle soul and a loving and loyal friend, the fact that she didn't faun over just anyone was one of her more endearing qualities.
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post #6 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:09 PM
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No offense taken.
I consider taking in a small furry animal a binding contact, you agree to care for and love them and they provide loyalty and unconditional love in return.
I was and still am appalled that she just left her cat like it was nothing and it speaks volumes about her character.
I still perplexed that she was jealous of Samantha, all she had to do was put forth the effort to win Samantha over, Samantha was well worth the effort, she was a gentle soul and a loving and loyal friend, the fact that she didn't faun over just anyone was one of her more endearing qualities.
Agreed 100%

Maybe Samantha sensed something about her character early on too? I've found my pets to be very telling in who they do or do not warm up to. Every former friend I had when I was growing up, whom my dog did not like, ended up being someone who betrayed or wronged me in some major way later on. Our pets can be very smart and see things we may not notice right away!
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post #7 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 03:23 PM
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Fortunately for me, Buzzy is a love bug to EVERYone he meets. Cat haters love Buzzy...and he spreads the love pretty evenly. Now, he and I have a special bond, and my boyfriend knows this... but Buzzy makes sure to spend some evenings just with him.
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post #8 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by saitenyo View Post
Agreed 100%

Maybe Samantha sensed something about her character early on too? I've found my pets to be very telling in who they do or do not warm up to. Every former friend I had when I was growing up, whom my dog did not like, ended up being someone who betrayed or wronged me in some major way later on. Our pets can be very smart and see things we may not notice right away!
I agree some but not all pets can be very good judges of character.
The cat I had before the Samantha, my beloved Meme who I still miss after almost 16 years, was an exceptional judge of character.

She adored my life long pal Lance who would care for her when I went out of town on business trips, but she didn't like Earline an old flame and would jump on the couch between us, facing me with her back to Earline.
I thought at the time it was just jealousy on Meme's part, but time showed her to be right as this person betrayed my trust.
We'd be well advised to listen to our small friends, some of them are very perceptive and not clouded by emotion.
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post #9 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 05:24 PM
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My OH knows how much the girls mean to me. We adopted them together, so there isn't a jealousy issue there. I give the girls a LOT of attention, they sleep on our bed, follow me constantly... He does comment that "they love you more than me", but he doesn't really mind. He knows I'm very animal oriented, whilst he has a go-karting hobby! He can't be that jealous anyway, he's agreed that when we move house (over August) I (we!) can get a kitten once we're settled (he also agreed to a puppy... 3 cats and a dog! )
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post #10 of 31 (permalink) Old 06-06-2011, 06:01 PM
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First there was the baby and the SO was being a bigger baby than the infant about it. Then, there was the parrot, whom I formula fed since it fledged, and the significant other got jealous over her, too. Then, after we pondered divorced and he had moved out of the house for some time, I got the cats. When we thought about reconciling, he was already trying to set rules over who slept where, and where the cats were 'allowed' to go and other such nonsense....moral of the story: keep the animals, lose the stupid human.
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