Can't we all just get along? - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 04:17 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Carmichael, CA.
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Can't we all just get along?

One of my deep regrets in the inability of my late beloved Samantha and Little Chiquita to get along.
They lived together for 11 years with an uneasy truce despite my best efforts.
It makes me sad that it would have improved both their lives to get along.
But every night I would read in bed with Samantha on my right and Chiquita on my left, they'd give each other dirty looks if they felt the other was getting too much attention.
We can't love everyone the same and I can't lie, I loved Samantha more.
Samantha was the gift I bought myself when I lost my beloved Meme.
I fell helplessly in love with her the first moment I saw her even though she was indifferent to me at first.
She soon warmed up to me, I think she like being a only child after growing up in a home full of other cats.
Chiquita was a stray hanging around my home when I moved in, my Ex wanted a cat of her own because she didn't put the effort forth to win Samantha heart (she was Daddy's little girl) so she tamed the stray.
They barely got along, sometime Chiquita would go feral and attack Samantha, this I wouldn't allow and it became a bone of contention between us.
My ex eventually left and she left Chiquita like she was dirty laundry and has never inquired about her since.
I treated them as equally as I could, they got the same food and I tried to be a good Papa to both of them.
Samantha recently died in my arms at 16 from cancer, Chiquita has been a great comfort and now is thriving under maximum attention.
I'd like to get another cat but don't dare, Chiquita would likely attack any stranger brought in and I also feel some what guilty and that Chiquita deserves to be Alpha Kitty for the remainder of her days.
I've often wondered what I could have done differently so they could have been friend.

Last edited by cooncatbob; 06-14-2011 at 04:19 PM.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 04:22 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
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I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Samantha.

Some cats just never do get along.
I had adopted a female cat to be a buddy to my Otis. Even though Otis was willing to make friends, the new female (she was 10 years old) absolutely refused to get along. I worked with her for over three months, had the help of a behaviorist, and finally had to return her to the humane society (she has since found a wonderful new home as an only kitty).

when you think of people in a work situation, it's kind of the same. Some people you just. don't. like. But, you have to get along well enough to be coworkers. I imagine cats can have personality clashes too.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 04:27 PM
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Don't feel bad, some cats are meant to be only cats. Cinderella never became friends with Cleo, even though Cleo tried time and again.

Gigi would thrive as an only-kitty, I'm living in a house cut in half most of the time.

I think it's great that you're letting Chiquita have the house to herself. I don't think there's anything different you could have done.

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

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Always in my heart, my lovely Cinderella, running free at the Bridge.
Always in my heart, my sweet Cali, running free at the Bridge.

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 04:40 PM
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You can second guess yourself forever, but it likely wouldn't have changed anything. Some cats just jell, gell? (forgot how to spell this aft), some tolerate each other and others despise each other. I had a situation of a half brother and half sister. They played together as kittens, but when his sister was a year old I had her bred. She became very defensive with her kittens and attacked her half bro a few times. He never got over that, and after the kittens had gone to homes, he was relentless. In his presence, I could not speak to her, pet her, pay any attention to her or he would attack her to the extent she would lie on her side and pee. Then he would walk away. Even when they were both neutered and spayed and they were indoor/outdoor cats, he would still attack her outside. When he was 15 y.o. he developed a tumor in the bladder and had to be euthanized. His half sister was a completely different cat after that. Even tho she was a senior cat she was more lively, more spontaneous, sat in my lap (which she never dared before), and enjoyed being pet. She lived another happy 2-1/2 years after that.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 04:57 PM
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Chiquita is a lucky girl to have such an understanding Daddy. I don't think you could've prevented these 2 girls from not getting along. They just had clashing personalities and were obviously jealous little divas. It happens with people and it happens with cats. Don't beat yourself up over it. You are doing a great thing now by putting Chiquita's needs before your own.

I am sorry to hear about Samantha and your story about Meme in the 'love thread' was wonderfully touching, comforting, and so full of wisdom
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