After years of trying, Assumpta has finally broken my lamp!
Years ago, someone gave me this inexpensive little ceramic lamp. I never liked it, but to keep the peace, I used it. Well, Assumpta developed this habit of knocking it off my bedside table every morning to let me know that it was time to feed the cat (and if that didn't work, she'd go to advanced techniques like sticking her paw up my nose, jumping on my bladder, and biffing me in the face). At first, I was really annoyed, but then I thought "Hey, I can use this to my advantage! I'll let her
break it and take the blame...she won't care, and I'll get rid of the lamp without having to lie!"
So for a couple of years, I've just ignored the sound of the lamp falling off the table, looking forward to hearing a gratifying smash. All I ever heard was a thud.
I've had to replace the shade a couple of times, but the ceramic base remained intact.
This morning, I heard a thud and a loud crraaacccckkk. I jumped out of bed and found the lamp in two distinct pieces.
I have already done a respectful disposal of the remains, and installed an antique metal drafting lamp held onto the table with three industrial C-clamps, and a backup wall-mounted glass oil lamp with a shade that she can't possibly reach.
I am such a bad cat owner...getting the cat to do my dirty work for me like that.
What a stylish team we are, Assumpta and I.