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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2005, 10:00 AM Thread Starter
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don't want my cat to feel abandoned...

I think I mentioned this in a thread a few months ago, but this summer my boyfriend and I are moving in with my grandparents in Vancouver so we can go to school, and his parents are going to take care of the cats for an indefinite amount of time.

And now I'm really worried that Jasmine will be abandoned and unloved... I say this because when we first adopted them as kittens, Ariel was super loving and trusting right off the bat, but it took a good year for Jazzer to really warm up to us and come and ask for pets and stuff. And now I'm worried that she'll become distrustful of everyone when she goes to live with the inlaws. I know I'm probably overreacting, but I don't want her to think that all people are out to abandon her... I want her to become settled in her new home. I think Ariel will be fine... she doesn't really strike me as being an emotionally deep cat so long as she has her daily amount of treats and pets she's happy. But I feel so depressed when I think of Jasmine and what she'll think of us leaving her there.

My boyfriend suggested bringing them over for "playdates" (his parents have a really great chow and a very old cat) ... I know that's generally not a good idea, but do you think it would make the transition better? If we brought them for an afternoon, then for an overnight, then for a week, until eventually we just left them there?

Or would it be better to bring the cats over two weeks before my bf and I leave, so we could visit them at his parents?

Or would it be better just to bring them there and leave them cold turkey?

I'm not worried about the cats getting along with the dog... he's always trying to make friends with the other cat and bringing her his toys (I think he used to live with cats) so they'll be fine, but the other cat (who is 16) is used to being the princess of the house and I'm worried about how she'll get along with my cats. Ugh. I wish I could take them with me, this is so depressing, but I can't. My poor babies!
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2005, 12:05 PM
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I think it would be better to have them visit with you there (at the inlaws) as often as possible. I always worry about the same thing when, for some reason, a cat is temporarily rehomed, or has to have a "baby sitter" for a while. So, as long as she's unable to get out of your grandparents' home, I'd visit with her as often as possible. That way, I think Jasmine will realize that you have not abandoned her, and instead of having to switch loved ones, she will only be adding more.

After my niece left her cats for a year, they hid from her when she came home. It didn't last too long, but it was upsetting. I am always frightened when I have to move a cat, but if you believe she will be safe, and have no way out of the grandparents' home, perhaps it would be all right.

This is a subjective matter, so I'm sure you'll get some other opinions.




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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2005, 12:42 PM
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Why would you think they're going to feel abandoned and unloved? They're going to be in a good home, right? His parents are going to take good care of them, right? I think they're going to be just fine. Just visit them as often as you can so they remember you. Ahh....so there we have it....this is more traumatic for you than for the cats. Really, I think you'll be just fine, too. Remember, you have the benefit of knowing that eventually you'll all be together again.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2005, 01:21 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by timskitties
Ahh....so there we have it....this is more traumatic for you than for the cats.
Umm... yeah... that's basically it. They're definitely going to a good home... my inlaws are retired, so the cats will have all the attention their little hearts could desire. I guess it is just a selfish worry on my part... I guess I want my cats to 'remember' me kindly, so to speak. I don't want them to think I don't love them, or that they're being punished or whatever.

Jeanie - I'm kind of confused by your post. Maybe I wasn't clear - I'll be moving like 3000 km away... we might come back to Montreal at Christmas if we can afford it, but that's about it. Are you saying that I should visit them at the inlaws before I leave? I was thinking that would probably be the best transition.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2005, 01:25 PM
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Yes, that's what I meant. Of course I didn't know how far away you'd be, or you could have visited them there periodically. That is a long way, though! I should have looked at your avatar more closely.




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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2005, 04:08 PM
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Oh, yeah, I didn't realize either it was so far away. Here's a wild and crazy idea....send some of your dirty laundry, so the cats can stay familiar with your scent!!
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-30-2005, 08:40 PM
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That's a good idea. Put it in their beds. And tell the inlaws not to wash it!




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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-31-2005, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by timskitties
Here's a wild and crazy idea....send some of your dirty laundry, so the cats can stay familiar with your scent!!
Hmm, that IS a good idea! But of course, the scent would wear off after a while, so I'd have to send MORE dirty clothes, and if they happen to come back clean, then that's just a bonus, right?
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-01-2005, 12:19 PM
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Tsk, tsk, such a schemer! Even better idea!




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