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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-29-2005, 06:52 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
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need some advice

hi everybody, my cat had been lost for a few days so i was driving around incase he had been hit by a car. my suspicions were realised and i discovered him dead on the side of a country road. it was hard to see him like that, i had to get some friends to give me a hand taking him home. i cannot bear of thinking about the pain he must of been in. besides dealing with that, he was only a kitten and has a sister at home. they are both only 1, and i am unsure if she will realise he is missing, and if she knows he is dead. she seems fine, but i feel as though it will be hard for her, is this true or is just me projecting my human emotion onto her? does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the situation? thankyou
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-29-2005, 07:11 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss that must be a terrible thing to have to deal with.

I too have to 1 year old sisters, and can only imagine your suffering.

I can only take an educated guess at this and assume that, as kittens are taken away from their mothers, and very quickly adapt to the new situation, the same would probably apply to your little lady. I doubt that the sense of loss we feel as humans woul;d be comparable to that which cats feel. She will probably notice her brothers absence, but hopefully will quickly adapt to her new situation. Lots of love to you and your lady.

I know that there are people on this forum who will be able to offer fantastic advice, possibly from first hand experience. They're such a fantastic bunch of people, you have definatly come to the right place to find support and advice fot this difficult situation.

In the meantime, to help with your loss, there is a fantasic topic called over the rainbow bridge, where people write about their losses, you may find some comfort in this.

I wish you and your kitten all the best. *HUGS*
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-29-2005, 07:58 AM
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I'm really sorry for your loss, it must have been hard for you.

My personal experience is as follows. When I had to get my beloved Bumper, euthanased, I was very concerned about the other cats, as they were all very close. I had him done here at home, and kept him afterwards for a few hours to allow the others to see & smell his body, I guess I just didn't want them to think he had just disappeared. They all came down to smell him, but I must admit I was a little surprised by how 'unbothered' the cats seemed by it all. I came to the conclusion that maybe I was just putting human emotions and qualities onto them. However, I have no idea if it would have been different if I hadn't let them see his body - maybe they would have become depressed at the absence of their big brother. In the following weeks, they did seem to look for Bumper in his usual spots, and seemed a little confused as to why he wasn't there, but as far as I could tell, they got over it a lot quicker than I did. I don't know what they were thinking or feeling, but they never seemed to have any visible changes in behaviour or temperament that I would associate with grieving, other than the seldom searching for Bumper.

One of my dogs, on the other hand, took it far worse, and became depressed and upset. Again, this is a situation I didn't fully understand. Asha was close to Bumper, and was nervous of his body when introduced to it. Was she grieving him afterwards, or was she literally just picking up on and acting on my own grief, depression and sadness? Dogs have been known to mimic their owners moods. I guess it's something I will never fully understand, but I did find a lot of comfort in them still being there.

Please take care, love and cherish your little girl, and one day maybe you will feel you can offer some of your love to another kitty in need.

Ems
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-29-2005, 09:51 AM
 
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I've also heard that animals cope better when getting to smell the body.
I'm not sure if there is any truth to that.
When I was growing up we had 2 brittany spaniels-a mother and daughter.
When we had to put the mother down, we did it at the vets office. The daughter did seem to go into a depression for a few weeks. But they'd been together for about 9 years at that point.
My only other experience with animals dealing with death was when my father died. He died at home. He was sick, so mom had a hospital bed set up for him in the spare bedroom. After he died, his dog Babe curled up under his bed and stayed there all day. She'd never done that before.
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