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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 03:28 AM Thread Starter
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NEED HELP AND FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. So. I live with my girlfriend, her 2 kids, and our cat Rocky. Who is a 3 year old male, (unnuetered male cat)... i dont believe in nuetuering a cat... since he doesnt spary all over our house... its not a big deal... UNTILL NOW!... Ok... so heres the deal... Last weekened my girlfiend went to her sister baby shower, and came home with a MALE kitten. He's not like, a BABY kitter... his kinda big... my guess is he's at least 3-6 moths old allready... Ok... so like... heres the problem... Rocky(the grown male we had first) was beat and treated like crap by her ex.... he has issuies with people yelling, raising their hands to him, ect.... BUT... Rocky literlally loves me and my girlfriend... he crys when we dont let him in to come sleep with us at night.... when i go out to bars with friends he does nothing but cry at the door for me... ECT... So.... We bring home this kitten, who i named appropriatly, Bullwinkle. Well.... At first we stuck the grown male cat,(rocky) in our bedroom... so Bullwinkle could get used to his surroundings.... Then... after about 15 minutes of him sniffing around... we brought Rocky out, but i held him, and my girlfriend held the kitten Bullwinkle... And Rocky at first was real offencive twoards him, Example, i put Bullwinkle(the kitten) between my legs, and pet him, and Rocky ran up and grabbed him by the throat. I slapped him, and he ran off and hid in the kids bedroom. Well i've been scared about the same thing happeneing since then.. I dont want this little cute kitten to get killed... So... we've kept them seperate... Untill tonight... We brought them both together, i help Rocky,(the grown male) and my girlfriend held the kitten Bullwinkle... We brought them close... they sniffed... and INSTANTLY THE KITTEN GOT DEFENSIVE THIS TIME!!!! he puffed his back hair, his tail, and HISSED at Rocky, witch Rocky DID NOT LIKE!.... So. I figured it this way.... Rocky need to assert his dominance, cause this IS his house... He's been here for 2 years and this place is his. So we put both of the cats down in our living room, and right away they sniffed, the kitten showed his submissivness, and backed away and hid under the couch(withc rocky cant fit under cause hes too big and fat...)... and still to this point as i sit here and type... they are doing that... Rocky sits and looks at the kitten under the couch... but he wont come out.... The kitten comes from a family consisting of his Mother, and 2 brothers... Who were locked in a garage all there short lives.... So... i ask for advice from experienced cat owners.... What should we do? Rocky(the grown cat) ISNT acting at all offencive twoards him... not hissing.... rising hair.. anything like that.... we got the kitten in hopes that him and Rocky would be friends.. cause Rocky seems AWEFULLY lonely.... so... we really want them to be friends and playmates.... Instead, its the kitten who is being defencsive, and hissing, rising fur, ECT.... So.... i ask this... should we just keep them together in the same room so that Rocky can show him that hes going to be the dominant cat? Will this work? Will it not? Should i get both of them nuetured and maybe that will help? Declawed as well???? I really want these 2 cats to be happy and friends together.... But i cant MAKE them like eachother.... the way i look at it, is the kitten isnt at all used to being around other cats.... So should i just give them time together? But at the same time watch them incase the kitten gets offencesive with the grown cat? So in case a throat gets grabbed we can sepereate them? I really need some advice here people... cause i dont have money to bring them to a vet to ask for advice or whatever.... PLEASE HELP!!!! Thanks for your time, and have a great day....
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 04:09 AM
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definately get then neutered, it will calm them down, your older cat will probaly now start spraying to assert dominance over the little one, as for the little one getting defensive he is doing that as the older one has attacked him once, he is scared. I would let them be together if you are in the same room to stop any fights but seperate them if you are going out. Short times together will get them used to each other and they will develop between them who is in charge. I always do this and all my cats get on really well now after shaky starts. They still have the odd spat but us humans do as well. Perseverance will get you there, good luck
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 04:13 AM
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I agree that both cats should be neutered. Like chilli said, chances are that your older cat will start spraying now that there is another cat in the household.

Here are some links that you will find helpful:

Introducing Your New Cat To Your Other Pets

Cat to Cat Introductions

How to Introduce an Adopted Cat to a New Household

Declawing - What You Need To Know

Good luck! Keep us updated on how things progress.
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 04:31 AM
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i dont believe in nuetuering a cat

should we just keep them together in the same room so that Rocky can show him that hes going to be the dominant cat? Will this work? Will it not? Should i get both of them nuetured and maybe that will help? Declawed as well????
No, introducing a second cat into the home is a big deal, and one that should be thought long and hard about. Once you've made that decision be prepared for hard and frustrating work in getting the cats introduced: it could take months. The links that Nell have given you are really good ones. As for getting your cats neutured, in my opinion it is an absolute must - their behaviour will more than likely change, and it would be irresponsible of you not to. Declawing??? In my opinion no, but there are more humane alternatives, like soft claws.

Good luck Cinsere, I hope it works out for you.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 11:40 AM
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Let's see, How to begin this reply...

Slow introduction are best with other feline family members. Give your more established cat (Rocky) lots of care and attention; He definitely is feeling his position in the family is threatened Bullwinkle. I would highly recommend having them neutered. I understand you are not in favor of this however, it is healthier for both and will help to calm them... Not that this is a fix all but, your boys will be less outraged by one another's strong scents and testosterone levels. As for de clawing this will help to reduce injuries however, it is not a must if you would rather not. If de clawing is not a option than check into capes for their claws as a temporary method to ease injuries until things become calmer in the house hold then perhaps reevaluate the de claw option.

~Introducing your new kitten/Cat~

When you bring your new kitten/cat home it is best to confine him to a quiet room with food, water and, definitely, his litter box. Keep loud noises to a minimum as he becomes acclimated to his surroundings. Once he's comfortable with that room, let him slowly start to explore the rest of the house, always keeping an eye on him so he doesn't get into trouble. Provide toys for him to use, and make sure you spend lots of time playing with him.


Challenges to dominant males from other males are dealt with forcefully, with the tomcat punishing any rebels swiftly and aggressively to maintain the hierarchy. In catteries, stud cats are kept in separate cages to prevent fighting, either for dominance or the right to breed with certain queens.


Any un-neutered male is a tomcat. A tomcat will be more determined to mark and spray his territory, he will also focus more on fighting and social status. The strongest/toughest male establishes himself as top cat through combat. Lower level males constantly fight for position, causing consistent tension in the ranks. Neutered males have no social rank and do not fight as much as tomcats.

I hope this info will help in some form or another, good luck!
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 12:24 PM
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First off cinsere, congrats on giving Bullwinkle a better home, that is very thoughtful of you.

The above information and advice is great. A few things I would like to add:

Do not punish Rocky, he needs special attention from you to show him he is just as important as before. If he gets really upset, spend time with him alone. I have 3 cats, all of which are still struggling to get along. My female Tasha, our first cat gets on much better if she is being pet and loved when all 3 are together, she gets very upset if the others are pet and she isn’t, then the growling and swatting starts. My other female Angel needs "alone" time to be happy, (I think she has middle child syndrome! ). You and your girlfriend should have both cats eating, playing and getting attention together. If they cannot do this without attacking, separate them with some kind of gate so they can see each other but still eat and play together. It works best with you on one side and you girlfriend on the other side. In short, it's a positive association with each other.

Secondly, letting cats "work it out" and show dominance is not a good idea. One or both could get severely hurt and the odds are it will not get better, it will get worse. I never leave my cats alone unsupervised as they would tear each other apart. It could take months but hang in there, they will eventually learn to coexist if not like each other.

Get you boys neutered ASAP before they start spraying. If you don't, spraying may not stop even after neutering. It's been known to happen.

Good Luck, it should work out fine, just have some patience as you got off to a bad start and that can take awhile to rectify.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 12:37 PM
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I definitely agree on getting them both neutered, Rocky ASAP! I also really hope Rocky has not been going outside unneutered for the past 3 years...
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 04:51 PM
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I also strongly urge that you get your toms neutered, Rocky first, and the kitten by 6 months. You will lengthen the lives of both cats, and calm down their territorial instincts. One Tom could impregnate at least 3 females and week, and with an average of 4 kittens per litter, that's 156 kittens a year! That's a minimum. Many of those kittens will die in shelters.

Please read the information about declawing. I think you'll decide against it.

Everyone is right about the slow introduction. Exchange their bedding periodically, and put a drop or cooking vanilla on the back of their necks. It helps when they have the same scent. Good luck.


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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 05:06 PM
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Re: NEED HELP AND FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First things first....Welcome to the forum! I hope you can take the time to read some on here, it's very informative. I hope that we can all help with any questions that you can think of. Being a worldwide group means there's bound to be at least one other person here going through what you are, if not all of us!

Originally Posted by cinsere
should we just keep them together in the same room so that Rocky can show him that hes going to be the dominant cat?
I just wanted to say, that though you might think Rocky would be the dominant one because he is older, watch. Judging from Rocky's behavior so far, I would say that the kitten is going to be on top. The kitten is asserting himself more than Rocky right now, but that may change. Give it time. It took our girls quite a while (3-4 months) to "like" each other.

Cat surprise us....all the time. One thing I've learned, you can't second guess a cat. They are always a step ahead of you.

Good luck!
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-08-2005, 10:52 PM
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I wholeheartedly agree about the neutering! I didn't really check on here before introducing my boys and just let them be.......there was hissing, biting, slapping.......I just made sure to give the one that was here first lots of extra attention. they were fine in a few hours.....hissed from across the room, the hissing died down and in a month or so we caught them napping together! good luck!
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