I will be banking my cat's DNA
My little fuzzy angel is dying of liver cancer and kidney disease, and I made the decision on the weekend to bank his DNA with Genetic Savings and Clone. Having this option has been like someone throwing me a lifeline, and I don't go into this with any misgivings. I know any kitten produced will not be "him", only similar to him. My angel was a feral cat, and it took me nearly three years to coax him into my life. Any future kitten wouldn't have had that life experience. He had a very hard life before I took him in, and I've always wondered what it would have been like to have had him from a kitten...
Such a kitten won't be taking a home from another cat, I've always opened my door to rescued cats (I currently have three that I rescued in the house), and will continue to do so, but this little one would be something extra special to me.
It's entirely possible that, in a few years time, if my grief ever lessens, that I may decide not to go through with it. I understand what someone said about tarnishing the memory of the old cat, or even disrespecting his memory by replacing him, and I'm agonizing about that right now. It might be the only thing that prevents me from eventually going ahead with it. But I had my angel neutered before I realized that he is the cat love of my life, and I would love for his line to continue in some manner. I would view any future kitten as his son, nothing more, but I look forward to seeing what similarities there might be.
And I'm also agonizing about the "what ifs": what if the samples don't arrive in time, what if they're damaged, what if they don't prove to be viable and I will have gone through all this for nothing. Without a doubt, this has been the worst week of my life!! If this had happened five years ago, I would have been suicial! Banking his DNA is the only thing that's getting me through this, but I understand and respect the decision of many of you not to do what I'm doing. I admire your ability to let them go, not replacing them, but moving on to a new love. It's just that I've never loved anything as much as I love this little cat, and it's entirely possible that I never will.
I just know that if I don't act now and bank his DNA, I could regret it for the rest of my life. I've had friends tell me that they wish that this had been an option when they lost their beloved. And I've had others tell me what a fantastic cat I have, and that it's a shame I didn't get a litter from him. That all just adds to the pain I'm feeling.
It's too late for me to back out of this, as money has already changed hands, and the kit will be delivered to the clinic today, but I would appreciate your comments. As I said, I may never go through with it, but it's providing me a small measure of comfort to think of what might be in the future. And this is the future, whether we like it or not. The genie is out of the bottle.
Am I wrong to bank his DNA? Or is it just part of my grieving process that I need to have this option in the future?