Having 2nd Thoughts - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 04:41 AM Thread Starter
 
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Having 2nd Thoughts

So I brought home the 2nd cat to my house. She is a pretty calico Persian, approx. 2 years old.

Now, before I go any further, I have to say I am having 2nd thoughts about keeping her.

I know this is a forum where everyone believes in 2nd chances, and rooting for the "underdog".. so please don't be offended by what I have to say, please hear me out.

I came into contact with a well known breeder of Persians, in hopes of getting another kitten, but decided on getting a retired breeder female. Sadly, the breeder of these cats is going out of business, due to a family personal problem. So she is rehoming all of her cats. I choose my cat, purely based on the picture, because the breeder lives in another state. I asked the breeder how much she wanted for her, and she said the only thing she asks for is to get the cat spayed ASAP, and upon receiving proof she'll send the registration papers to me in the mail.-- yes, the cat was free. I asked if this cat had any medical problems, and she said no, the cat is very healthy.
So I told my husband about this, he said NO MORE CATS. OUR CAT IS ENOUGH. so over a week I begged and pleaded until he caved. Yes I am ashamed I did this juvenile act.
Once the breeder heard back from me, it was like a whirlwind, days later a date was set for her to drive the cat to me. We met in a parking lot on the 17th, and she handed over this frightened animal, we talked for maybe 2 minutes at the most. Then I came home with this cat.
I did let my kitten look at the cat briefly, but [after a bit] decided to quarantine the new cat into my son's vacant room. I finally got the chance to look over the cat, and became alarmed at a few things.
SHe has the extreme point, but her nose is very very small. When she breathes in the little flaps flap close making it hard for her to breathe. From what I understand from other breeders, this cat will need a surgery to correct the breathing problem. I noticed feline acne on her chin, and 2 scabs under her nose. When she pants(which is often) she has terrible halitosis-- I MEAN TERRIBLE! The breeder told me the cat has had 3 successful litters, and obviously the last one was in the past 2-3 months based on her very very very slender frame.
She has food, water, litter box, scratching post in my son's room. She has pooed on the carpet, peed on the carpet, and meowed the whole time. I understand she is stressed, and with a little coaxing she comes out to be petted.

Ok at this point I started to get those weird vibes in my stomach, like maybe I made the wrong decision. I am sitting here wishing that I didn't talk my husband into this, and wondering what did I get myself into. My daughter really adores this cat, but then, my daughter is 5, she loves everything.
I love my husband, and we never have fights or problems.... well right now, we have a major one-- he isn't talking to me, and refuses to acknowledge the new cat.
Right now, I feel real bad-- but I don't think I can handle this situation-- I was told I am getting a healthy cat, but she obviously isn't. I just want to kick myself for jumping into this--
I really think I want to give the cat back. I have contacted the breeder via email, but did not say exactly come get her i don't want her... but I think tomorrow I will. Deep down I know I don't want to keep this cat, the cat has so many health and behavioral issues, and it hasn't even been 24 hours--

Ok.. so I am a bad person....
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 07:06 AM
 
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I'm sorry I don't think there's any easy answer on this one. I, for one, would not and could not tolerate pee and poo on my carpet. I know there are people who can, and they may shame me, but I just can't live like that.

Maybe if I tell you a bit of my story, you'll feel better. I adopted Sampson on 5/15/05 and gave him back on 5/18/05... because he was sick and peed on the carpet. I felt the same way as you did, it was too much. I had lost my other cat on 5/11/05 and yes, I probably jumped too soon into getting another one, but like you, I thought I was getting a healthy cat. I brought him to the vet the next day after I got him because he was pooing blood The vet told me that he wasn't sure what it was, but I should bring him back for more tests. I wasn't prepared for this. I had just spent countless $$$ on my last cat. Having to pay for a checkup of a new cat or neutering is one thing, but gosh I didn't want to go into the visit and research deal again... but I did keep him and tried to decided what to do. He continued to poo blood, and I was giving him medication and on the 4th day I had him, I noticed he peed on the carpet I know, I felt bad too, like you, but it was all I could take. The pee wasn't such a bad thing, I think maybe I could have worked with it, but it was the "unknown" of the medical too.

Anyway, to make a long story back I took him back to the shelter that night and cried the whole way. Well to my surprise, the shelter was extremely apologetic for adopting him out being so sick. I found out that he had coccidia and round worm, and a bad URI. I continued to miss him, and went to see him at the shelter almost every day. He was so sick in his cage, I felt terrible. Well once he started to get better, the shelter asked if I was interested in adopting him again, I was shocked!!, as I thought for sure that they woud be extremely mad at me, but you know, they understood. So I waited a bit and I did re-adopt him He's here with me now since Monday and he's doing fine. I think his pee incident was due to stress and probably being sick, and possibly me having the one litter box in the back bathroom. I now have two litterboxes for him, one in the kitchen, and one in the front bathroom, LOL!! He uses both!!, LOL!!... but I'll pull one eventually.

Anyway, my point here is that you can only do what you can do. I think there are people who are prepared to deal with sick cats, and maybe people who are more able to have cats pee and poo in their house and it doesn't bother them. There are others that it does.

So if the cat is sick, and he is wrecking your house, then I would give him back I know it's horrible, but what are your other options.... I personally couldn't have a cat peeing and pooing in my house. If that makes me a bad animal lover, oh well... but that is what and who I am.

So you can either take him to the vet and try to determine if he is sick and maybe his peeing and pooing is due to that, or you can send him back. I think his meowing in the room would go away eventually as that is just stress of him getting acclimated to your house.

In anycase, please don't feel bad... we do what we can with what we have and that's all we can do. You obviously are good mommy to your other cat, so you're far from a horrible person. It's just a bad situation to be in, and unfortunately isn't going to be one that will be resolved easily.

Good luck... keep us updated as to what you decide to do.

Annie
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 12:59 PM
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Have you taken her to the vet? I've only had one instance with peeing on the carpet, and it turned out my cat was sick too.

I would not beat yourself up over this -- the breeder should've told you about her health conditions before you got her. Maybe you could take her to the vet and find out exactly what they think the situation is, if she will require surgery, what they can give you for the bad breath, etc., then contact the breeder to see how she wants to handle it.

Poor girl.
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 01:05 PM
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The most important thing is...your marriage!
You should talk with him and tell him you are truly sorry,
try to make a plan for a solution...if that means return the cat..
then return the cat.
I know how men can be with animals and their limits.
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 01:09 PM
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I think it would be fair to give the cat back if you don't want it. Obvisouly, you'll feel miserable,, the cat will sense it. Also, the breeder should have told you about the conditions.

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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 01:25 PM Thread Starter
 
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Yes, I think I will give the cat back--- I hate being put into this situation-- I truly did want another cat... have had many opportunities to get cat/kittens...
I agree with boscosmum-- not worth putting strain on marriage. We have a great marriage, very strong-- but my husband is very very mad at the situation, and now I am too. I am grown up enough to admit I made a huge error. My mistake was thinking if I got a retired breeder female cat from a reputable breeder well know in CFA I should be fine, right? well, I was wrong.
My daughter is not understanding the situation-- as I sit here typing, she is in the room with the cat. She wants to keep the cat, I just am not prepared for that. Sure, the cat can be loving when she wants... but I feel like the worst person when I can be in there with her thinking"I don't feel anything , no love for this animal"
Don't get me wrong, I love animals-- I just don't feel that special feeling I had like when I got my kitten.

And the cat was meowing ALL NIGHT!
So what did my husband do..... he opened the door to let her out! I said NO! She is being quarantined-- he just left for work, leaving me to chase this cat.... ug... and to top it all off the breeder still hasn't responded to my emails..... I may call her later today-- but I am a coward-- much easier to think out what you are to type, than say it on phone...
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 01:27 PM
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I think your weird vibes in your stomach are telling you something. Like maybe this was done way too fast and for the wrong reasons. If the breeder will take the cat back, I think that's what you should do. And then take a break, and start over from scratch, and find yourself the RIGHT cat for you and your family. Sometimes these things work out -- consider jazzo's story -- but seeing you don't have the support of your family, I think taking the cat back, if you can, is the right move both for you and the cat. Just my opinion.

edit->I just hope you CAN give the cat back. It sounds suspiciously like someone who wanted to get rid of a cat, no questions asked, and no warranty given. If you know what I mean.
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 01:30 PM
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You made the righ choice. I'm sorry for the situation you were put in. I'm sure, once you're prepared, you can sit down I talk with everyone, see how they feel about getting another cat, when the time comes later on. I know you're a true animal lover because you're doing the right thing for your cat.

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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 04:05 PM
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This upsets me to no end! What infuriates me is that some Persian breeders are so insistent on the flat face that they are damaging the breed. I believe she probably was a breeding queen, because that breeder probably wanted to further flatten the faces of her future litters. The welfare of the breed should come first, not some extreme feature! Oh, this makes me angry!

Jackie, you do what you think is right. There is no doubt you were duped. I'm sure you feel sorry for the cat, but this breeder evidently wanted to hand this problem over to someone else. That is so unethical!




Jeanie

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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-18-2005, 04:21 PM Thread Starter
 
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ok... I am a little relieved to see no one is hating me for not wanting to keep her. I do love animals-- I really really do. The cat has obviously been through a lot.
The breeder finally contacted me via email stating if I want to return her, I would have to meet her in the same place tomorrow at 4pm. I have called her cellphone and am waiting for a reply. I do feel like a bad person. I just sat through an hour long yellmatch from my own mom. She thinks I should keep the cat, and how dare I get rid of her...

Jeanie-- I agree with your assessment. This cat SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN BRED, and has obviously been bred to get the extreme face. The cat is very underweight, and she is only 2-- already has had 3 litters-- now I don't know if that is the typical amount or not...


Now, not to sound hypocritcal, my little Himalayan has the extreme point, but from what other persian lovers have said, there is a different levels of EXTREME point...
I feel so terrible.. my daughter is crying-- and I AM TO BLAME.. my little girl JEnny is only 5, and I really don't like myself right now. I am hurting my daughter's feelings, she wants to keep the cat... it is heartbreaking listening to her rationalize keeping the cat....
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