Feeling very discouraged about the new third cat - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-06-2005, 10:44 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Feeling very discouraged about the new third cat

I just don't know if this is going to work out. The cat virtually lives in the closet. She did come up on the bed and sleep with us for a while last night. And she was very friendly to my cleaning lady on Monday, a person she had never seen before. She seems to be people-friendly, but she is just pyscho with the other animals..(two cats and three dogs)..none of my resident animals have made a single aggressive move toward her..yet she won't stop hissing and growling.

How long should I give this?? If she isn't going to be able to be in a multi-animal household, this will never work. The resident five animals all get along just fine.

I regret bringing her home, to be honest.
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-06-2005, 11:42 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: U.S.
Posts: 310
aww *hugs* i am sorry you are feeling so bad.. i'm not sure what you can do except wait it out. i've read on here it could take months, but that does seem to be a long time to keep her stressed. If it were me, i'd give it more time. I really wish you more luck with this... my introduction has gone okay, the cats have yet to go within 10 foot of one another. resident cat hisses sometimes and the new cat feels intimidated by him sometimes and others he doesn't even pay attention. i still keep her in her room which is rather large for a cat. So i don't feel bad for leaving her in there all day even though i know she wants to roam around the rest of the house, but i think it's too early because of the resident cat.

do you have anyone who would want to care for her that doesn't have other animals? i would really hate suggesting taking her to the shelter or anything like that.. once again, good luck. don't feel so discouraged, it isn't your fault that it isn't working so fast. just try to provide her with as much love as possible.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-06-2005, 11:59 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
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I'm going to hang in there and give it more time, I want this to work so badly!! the other animals aren't even paying attention to her, there is no reason for her to be this stressed out.

If by chance it doesn't work out, I will only giver her to a resuce group or a no-kill place..not the regular animal shelter..that is a sure death sentence. I don't know anyone who wants a cat right now, unfortunately.

She is such a sweet cat, I saw her in action at my friend's house;;always in a lap, purring, so affectionate!!
She seems to be having a nervous breakdown here!!!
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2005, 12:06 AM
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 12,504
It's been less than a week. It can take a new cat months to become fully at home in a new place. I'm not saying it's going to take that long, and I'm not saying that the new cat will eventually adapt. You just never know. You're going through a phase right now where you're doubting if you did the right thing. I can only say that only time will tell. How much time? I don't know.

I suppose if you're convinced this cat isn't going to work out and/or you don't have the inclination and the will to give it that much time, then the sooner the better the cat should be returned. Before bonding takes place.

You posted again while I was writing, and it sounds like you really want to make this work. So I think keeping the cat is the right thing to do.

Good luck and best wishes.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2005, 12:13 AM
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Poor baby. How long has it been now? Have you had her completely seperated from the other pets? Sounds like she may be a little overwhelmed.
Don't feel badly, you're doing the best you can and sometimes it just doesn't work out. Some cats are just happier with fewer other animals or evenby themselves.
It seems to me it hasn't been that long yet and it still may be OK. Just try to keep her surroundings as calm and quiet as you can.
Hang in there!

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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2005, 05:37 AM
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 110
We had an adopted stray like that a while back ("Kibbee") - another female so ours was very stressed out.

Finally just took KIbbee out back and...

NAW! Just kidding! Put an ad in the paper - something like, Nice, spayed orange female cat, likes people, doesn't like other cats!

A nice older couple came and took them to their house where Kibbee had a nice home and ruled!

Anyone wants pics of KIbbee, let me know.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2005, 06:06 AM
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She is such a sweet cat, I saw her in action at my friend's house;;always in a lap, purring, so affectionate!!
She seems to be having a nervous breakdown here!!!
I got Lily at the end of August this year. She was very sweet and affectionate when I found her and was up until she finally met my other kitty. She growled and hissed at him constantly. she totally withdrew and did not want to be touched. It is now early December and she has come around almost 100%. She still hisses and growls at him on occassion but things are remarkably better. She loves to be pet again and just hangs out with the rest of us..makes herself at home. It takes cats a while sometimes. I don't know if your situation will work out like mine but I would give it a little more time.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2005, 11:47 AM
Join Date: Aug 2005
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I've only had Winston for not even 2 weeks. I will admit the getting along with other cats and our dog has been wonderful. I can't complain about that at all but with us, it's actually taking more time. He spends almost the whole time downstairs and, with exception of when he's on our son's bed, does not like to be touched much and is very aloof. He's quite sweet on my son's bed but that's the only place. We rarely see him. The owners said he was very affectionate, talkative and cuddly. I have yet to see that cat. I think in my case and in your case we just need more time. Your story encouraged me too
manitu22. I think in my case and in nancy's case we just have to be patient. I think we all know in our minds that adjustment for some cats takes a long time but when we're in the midst of adjustments we want it to happen now.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2005, 07:14 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 223
well, I returned the cat to the previous owner, my friend. This was not the right environment for the cat. She needs to be the only animal in the house. She looked right at home at my friend's house..I am hoping my friend will just decide to keep her, it is the perfect situation for the cat.

I will NOT be adding any cats to this household anytime soon, if EVER..that's for sure!! My cats are so well adjusted and happy, I feel badly that I disrupted their lives this way.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 12-07-2005, 10:16 PM
Join Date: Jul 2005
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I am curious - why did your friend give up the cat in the first place since she has now taken her back?

I respect you decision but I really think that with more time things might have worked out. My cats certainly were not getting along after just one week. There was still a lot of hissing (from the new guy who felt more threatened) I felt like a bad mommy who made a really bad decision but I hung in there. It took about 1 month for them to sleep together in the bed and they still bicker sometimes.

Anyway - you might still consider a 3rd cat. Every cat is different and my cats aren't the most easy going. There are power stuggles and fights for attention. I just go with the flow.
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