I feel so guilty - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2006, 03:28 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
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I feel so guilty

Hello all. I apologize if this first post is overly long, but this something I have to get off my chest.

On Sunday Feb 6 I must have gone to bed and forgot to lock the front door of my house. It was very windy that evening and sometime early Monday the wind blew the door open. I heard the bang, but being only half awake I assumed it was my brother leaving for work (he normally leaves around 3 AM) Sometime later the cold air seeping in finally roused me from bed. But by that time the damage was done.

Lucky, my indoor calico cat I've had for over five years was gone. She had wandered out. At first I was concerned but didn't panic. Lucky has gotten out about five times before. The last time was almost exactly three years earlier when my niece left the door open. Lucky was gone outside then for exactly a week. But she came back, hungry but with no other ill effects. This was also during the winter and it had even snowed mid-week.

All those other times I instantly assumed Lucky was gone...but she stayed close and came back. I Told myself it was almost inevitable she would get out again, but I won't worry so much because she always came back.

I haven't seen her any sign of her now for almost a month. I've searched the entire neighborhood for days. I've posted signs and placed flyers in mailboxes. I placed two non-lethal traps with tuna by both the front and back doors. I've called the shelter. She's gone.

I have another cat who is a former stray I adopted some years ago and he goes and comes constantly without incident. I see other neighbor cats around all the time. Our street is pretty isolated and with lots of big open yards around. If she had been hit by a car, wouldn't I have seen her body in the street?

I've read that neuted well-fed, well-loved indoor cats will not wander far if they get outside the house. I've read they go into fear mode and just hunker down close somewhere near until hunger and cold force them by home. This is what has happened with Lucky before. On two of the other occasins she got out, I heard her underneath an old car body behind our next-door neighbors garage. I've seached that entire area thoughly several times. No sign of her. What could have happened to her this time?? Where could she have gone???

I feel so guilty because I forgot to lock the down AND I failed to get out of bed to close it promptly before Lucky got out. I imagine she's dead by now. Starved or frozen to death. That little cat loved me so much and I loved her. I feel I let her down and wasn't a responsible pet owner.

I lost another cat to cancer a year ago and in time came to terms with the grief. But you can't control cancer. I left the door unlocked! I didn't re-act fast enough to close it before she got out! And little sweet Lucky paid the price with a cold, wet miserable death!! You have no idea how the guilt gnaws away at me! Who would believe a 43-year old man could feel this way over a cat. Any advice for to deal with my grief and more importantly my GUILT????
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2006, 04:47 PM
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I'm so sorry for the terrible time you are having. It is so hard not to blame yourself in a situation like that. However, you didn't do anything on purpose. It's not like you threw the poor little thing out in the cold! It was an accident.

You never know what can happen, so keep hopes up. She may turn up. Maybe she has found a warm spot somewhere. Maybe she wants to come home, but has found herself locked in a garage. (That happened with a cat we had when I was little.)

Have you knocked on each neighbor's door? Maybe someone found her and took her in, not knowing she already had a home. Have you put an ad in the paper? Kitties can sometimes roam pretty far.

I hope she does come home. I can only imagine how crazy I would be if one of my babies had gone missing for 3+ weeks.

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2006, 06:36 PM
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Hugs and prayers being sent Lucky kitty come home! Check and see if she was picked up too (by the pound or humane society). When my kitty went missing I put up flyers, knocked on doors, put an ad in the paper with a reward. paws crossed!
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2006, 06:45 PM
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It happened with a cat I used to have (Melody). I feel so sorry for you. I hope that Lucky eventually comes home. However, kitten season is almost here. Perhaps you can rescue some feral kittens and that will help numb the pain.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2006, 06:50 PM
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I am so sorry you are experiencing this

Definitely post flyers, place ads, etc. Also, call the local shelters to make sure she hasn't been turned in AND the local vets, rescue groups, etc.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-28-2006, 07:27 PM
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*Fingers crossed* that your baby finds her way home.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-01-2006, 01:48 AM
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Did you try your neighbors? My mom happened to find her cat at a neighbor's few houses down after it was missing for 2 weeks. Mom told me that the neighbor said that the cat got in using the pet door and decided to hold it just in case somebody finds it.

Hope Lucky comes home or is being taken care of until you find her.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 10:30 PM
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I'm so sorry It's not your fault, poor kitty. Maybe she will return. Things happen in life that we just don't have an explanation for You loved her and that's what matters... maybe she'll still come back, let's hope.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-04-2006, 01:03 AM
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Well...dont give up hope just yet.

Remember a while back in the news about ten years ago in Northern MN? It got down to a record -52 degrees overnight. My cat (I have two...this one is now at my moms house) was outside during that time. He showed up a few days later. Cats are pretty tough little buggers...I hope she makes it back soon!
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