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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 03:15 PM Thread Starter
 
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help! kitten hates being stroked :-(

Hi everyone,
My partner and I took home 2 beautiful 13 week old kittens from a shelter last sunday, and I'm looking for some advice on how to help a VERY shy kitten. They are brother (Iggy) and sister (Ella), and although the Iggy is very affectionate and will let you stroke him till the cows come home Ella won't even let you touch her, and will recoil when a hand is placed on her.

She will feed from our hand and sit near us but as soon as we try and touch her she runs away. I would love to know if there is a way we can build her confidence and show her that we are not going to harm her.

It is so confusing to have one kitten with so much love to give and the other hating any physical contact at all.

We have kept them in a safe room and we would love to let them explore the rest of the place, Iggy is dying to get out, but are worried Ella will be even more scared and hate us even more!
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 03:22 PM
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This is perfectly normal. One of my kittens is more shy than the other and actually sinks down to the ground when I go to pet her as if she's in some limbo contest I can't see. But she's also a major lap kitty. It's just the petting she doesn't seem to care for right now.

Cleo just turned two years old and doesn't like being touched very much, but we're working on that. She had issues with her previous owners.

Cinderella LOVES to be brushed and have her little face scratched, but will not let me hold her in my lap for even 5 seconds.

Every cat is different, you'll discover what they like and don't like. It takes patience and I know right now, it probably hurts your feelings, but it's nothing personal.

Welcome - and please post pictures when you can!

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 04:33 PM Thread Starter
 
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Hi Marie,

thanks for your quick reply! so how should we approach Ella? do we ignore her and let her come to us? Or should I keep trying, little by little?

Also, when should we let them out of their safe room? Do we wait for Ella to become completely happy with us or do we let them out now?
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 05:03 PM
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I would let her come to you. Cinderella was my first cat (she adopted me last year) and has a sad history. I would come home from work and she would hide under my bed. I would just talk to her very softly as I was going about my business. I sat down on the floor and read or watched t.v. Eventually, she came out from under the bed, but any noise would send her flying back. Even changing pages while reading a newspaper.

Sit near her and have some treats ready, but let her set the pace. As far as the rest of the house, I'm not sure how big your house is. One floor? I'd leave the door open and let her decide how far she wants to travel.

You'll get better advice than this, I'm sure. Kinda new at the cat thing myself - despite having 4 now!

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 05:19 PM Thread Starter
 
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we have a 2 bed flat so it's not huge, so I don't think it would scare her too much. She is definately getting a lot better...but actually, I think she might be a he!

I have just been playing with some string and I could see her properly for the first time and she has the same "bumps" as her brother...maybe the shelter couldn't see properly as she is jet black and obviously was very timid and shy when they got her. I had two female cats when I was younger and she doesn't look like them "down there"?

Looks like Ella is a fella! sorry couldn't resist
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 05:24 PM
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That's so funny! Same thing has happened to members on this Forum. Sometimes you don't find out until you take them to get spayed and they need neutering instead!

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

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Always in my heart, my sweet Cali, running free at the Bridge.

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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 05:58 PM
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Re: help! kitten hates being stroked :-(

Quote:
Originally Posted by zoenoble
Hi everyone,
My partner and I took home 2 beautiful 13 week old kittens from a shelter last sunday, and I'm looking for some advice on how to help a VERY shy kitten. They are brother (Iggy) and sister (Ella), and although the Iggy is very affectionate and will let you stroke him till the cows come home Ella won't even let you touch her, and will recoil when a hand is placed on her.

She will feed from our hand and sit near us but as soon as we try and touch her she runs away. I would love to know if there is a way we can build her confidence and show her that we are not going to harm her.

It is so confusing to have one kitten with so much love to give and the other hating any physical contact at all.

We have kept them in a safe room and we would love to let them explore the rest of the place, Iggy is dying to get out, but are worried Ella will be even more scared and hate us even more!
Takes small steps, you can hand feed her, once she is done gently rub her head for a couple seconds, then make small increments, she will be loving you up in no time.

Maria
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-05-2007, 09:13 PM
 
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my cat is very shy as well, she likes to be able to sniff a hand until she is satisfied before she will let anyone touch her. she does it to me sometimes, but she also follows me from room to room and can't have a closed door between us.

so i say give your kitty time, sit quietly with her so she gets comfortable with you and then begin getting her used to touching.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-06-2007, 03:32 PM
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I think if Ella turns out to be a boy, you should change his name to Fella. It's cute and you'd have a funny story to tell people.

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

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Always in my heart, my sweet Cali, running free at the Bridge.

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-06-2007, 06:31 PM
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Sometimes it's hard to tell with the little kittens. But, for future reference, males have : and females have ยก
Congratulations on the new panther in your home!

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