Jealousy problem-3 cats. Please help prevent re-homing! - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-30-2009, 03:01 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
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Jealousy problem-3 cats. Please help prevent re-homing!

Hello all,

I have a major problem with my 2 year old, neutered, male domestic short hair. He is a very loving, playful, sociable and sweet cat. My wife and I also have 2 other cats. An 11 year old female and 9 year old male. Both healthy and neutered. My wife brought these two cats to the relationship when we met about 16 months ago.

When we first moved in together (to a new apartment for both of us), my cat loved my wife but was very aggressive toward my wife's male cat. My cat would never let her male walk by without attacking him. But still, my cat had no problems with my wife or her female cat. Then we bought a condo and moved again. This is when problems started with between my cat and my wife.

As soon as we brought the cats to the new place, my cat began hissing at my wife. He would run away from her and his hair would raise on end! He would even swing at her with his claws. His aggression toward her male cat also continued. In addition to this new aggression toward my wife, he periodically relieves himself in a corner, in our closet or under the bed. I bought him his very own litter pan and put it at a separate area and he likes it and uses it but still goes in a corner once in a while only when my wife is home. When my wife is gone, he returns to his normal loving self and even sleeps together on our bed right next to the other 2 cats. When my wife comes home, he runs away from her, hisses and starts attacking the older male cat again. We even tried having only my wife feed him for a while and his aggression still continues.

We are just about at wits end. I do not want to give him up to the animal shelter because I don't want him put down. I am currently looking in to giving him up to a rescue orginization but they are very picky and don't like aggressive cats. He is so lovable and sweet! I have heard that St. Johns Wort works with aggressive cats or even Prozac. Does anyone know how much SJW to give him? Any other suggestions??

Please help!
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-30-2009, 03:14 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Monroe, GA
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Re: Jealousy problem-3 cats. Please help prevent re-homing!

Welcome, and I'm sorry you guys are having such trouble. I am not very experienced in this area, so I'm hoping others with more experience will chime in.

It almost seems as if your cat is behaving towards your wife as if she were a rival, I doubt this is from jealousy, but I wonder if it is a 'different smell' sort of thing. Ack! It is late and I'm not making much sense, so I'll keep this short.
Fel-i-way is a pheromone product that can be used as it has a natural calming effect on cats. Telling them that 'everything is okay and good'. Masking scents and odors can be done with a spot of vanilla on the back of the shoulder-blades. I've never tried that, so wait for someone with more information about how that is done before you try that.

As for re-homing...it sounds like that may be best for him if you cannot resolve this current negative behavior, though I'd see if I could find him a home yourself where he could be an only-cat, if you can't get him into a reputable adoption program.
Best of luck,
Heidi

PS...when we moved from CA to WA we brought our unsociable barn cat with us. The residence we had made arrangements to move into was sold out from under us just days before the moving truck came. We made some quick adjustments and had to move into a single-wide trailer at a trailerpark. When we arrived, the cats outside at that trailer park were very sickly-looking and I did not want to let Oscar out with them. So, he stayed in the front room while the other cats had the run of the trailer. Every evening I would put the group of cats into the Master Bedroom and let Oscar out of the front bedroom to socialize with us, play and exercise. We had to keep him in that manner for 7mo before we were able to find a suitable house to move into and he could return to being The Barn Cat...however he chose to become a Porch Cat and enjoyed sleeping in a box on a table so he could watch us inside the house. He never did adjust to being friendly with the other inside cats, or he'd have become an indoor cat.
Some cats are just meant to be only-cats.



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