What to do with a cat who hates cuddling - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 10:00 PM Thread Starter
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What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

Dante may look like a sweetie, but boy is he independant! He HATES to cuddle and will only tolerate being held if we are standing up. As soon as we sit down he squirms and is off like a bat. He won't jump up to lay in laps and if you sit beside him he'll move and lay on the floor. He'll purr and roll on his back when you pet him and in the mornings he's rubbing against my legs, up on my desk head butting me in the face and all purring so he does like some attention and he does like us...I think. But he just will not tolerate being snuggled. It's very frustrating and disappointing. Is there anyway he'll grow out of this or come to like being cuddled?
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 10:41 PM
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

Right now he is a young, adolescent cat.
How many adolescent boys still allow their mothers to hug all over them? And in front of their friends? Forget it!

I think he is young and will eventually outgrow it. Has he been neutered yet? That could help make a difference, too. Right now, he probably wants to play, Play, PLAY! Also, his growing body could be a little sensitive to touch and he just prefers to not be over-stimulated with snuggling and holding. It may take some time for him to get past this. I would keep petting and trying to snuggle so when he is ready you will have been preparing him for it and continuing to ask for it...and therefore not miss it when he finally IS ready.

We got Floofy in Feb/2008 and he was about 10mo old. He was ALL about playing! And petting would always turn into a playful wrestle. No snuggly, friendly hugging or kissing, it all turned into a wrestle, unless he was sleepy, then he would allow petting and snuggling. Now, just over a year later, he is beginning to allow and seek out petting attention and it doesn't turn into a playful wrestle. It just takes time.
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 10:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

Thanks Heidi! Dante definitely is a one track minded cat...it's always about some form of play! And yes, he is neutered (although he was done a bit too early I think, maybe not, but the shelter I got him from thought he was 7 months when they neutered him, but he was actually between 3 and 4 months.)

When we first brought him home he would lay in laps, he had no problems adjusting to us so we thought that was great. And now he just wants to ge away from us...we thought maybe he associated being held with getting his nails trimmed which is a big ordeal and takes many tries to get all four paws trimmed...ugh, any advice on how to do that as efficiently as possible would be great...but I digress. But it does make sense that he just wants to play and I HOPE he will come around...because threatening to take him back just isn't working
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 10:55 PM
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

My twins don't like being picked up or carried. But Charlee is my only real lap cat. Cali sat in my lap for a long time last Sunday, which was nice.

Cinderella has never, ever been a lap cat, but she'll cuddle under the blankets with me. I can hold her now, standing up, but I started out at just a few seconds at a time. The second she started to struggle, I put her down. It took a while, but now I can hold her as long as I want. But the second I sit down, she's off.

Cleo doesn't want to be held or picked up. From the way she screeches, you'd think I was swinging her by her tail! I'm slowly working on it, holding her and giving her a treat, so she'll associate it with something good. But she pretty much just wants down.

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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 10:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

I always thought that female cats were more independant and I would expect that behaviour more from them, but with a male cat I thought we'd get someone more needy. So I'm hoping it's the age thing.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 11:01 PM
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

get another cat lol. imma get me one lol
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 11:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

Once we get a bigger place and more money we'll get another cat, but as of now we'll have to make due with the one we have now, hehe (all jokes, I love the little bugger).
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 11:04 PM
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

I do like Marie does, handle the cats to get them used to it and push them further and further beyond what their boundaries are until they accept the handling as included within their boundaries.

I learned this with my first bottle-raised kitten; Marmalade. For some reason, I didn't pick him up and hold him much. I guess I figured he just wanted to run/play so I'd let him do what he wanted. The result was an adult cat who loved attention but would tense and freeze for as long as you held him and until you set him down. He never grew comfortable with being held/carried. Now, all cats that come to us (either as our own or fosters) are put through a rigorous Kitty Cat Boot Camp I've devised to work on progressing them through all stages/kinds of handling so the fosters have a great chance at finding a home with any family. For my own cats, I feel it just makes them more confident with us and with houseguests.



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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-06-2009, 11:10 PM Thread Starter
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

We definitely try to hold him as much as possible. I did it while watching a movie earlier and he didn't squirm as much as I thought he would and got to hold him for around 5 min or so...so, yay progress. I'll keep it up!
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-07-2009, 07:31 AM
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Re: What to do with a cat who hates cuddling

Quote:
Originally Posted by chloecatgirl
But it does make sense that he just wants to play and I HOPE he will come around...because threatening to take him back just isn't working
I have threatened to take Juno back to the place I volunteer and trade her in. (Will never, ever happen!) When I got her it was with the hope that finally she would be the one that cuddled, but no dice. All seven of my cats are friendly in their different ways but not one of them is a cuddler.

Heidi, what is your boot camp like and do you think it would work to make adult cats more cuddly?

Sue



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