Does my cat hate my boyfriend because he misses him? - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-27-2010, 10:01 AM Thread Starter
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Does my cat hate my boyfriend because he misses him?

Long story. I brought my female cat Moria,1 year old, from the small apartment i shared with my boyfriend in Argentina, to my family´s big house in Chile during the summer. She loves the house, not so much the 2 male older cats that live here. Still, they get along decently.
In the meantime, my boyfriend is visiting his own parents house and has come to visit twice. Moria, who loved him, slept with him, played with him and purred like crazy, can´t stand him. Hides and doesn´t let him touch her.
That´s not all: she does this with all men in my house. But LOVES the ladies. Still, weird that after 3 months living with a guy, she suddenly just forgets him in a week and treats him like a perfect stranger?
So, I have 3 theories:
- She remembers him, but is angry because he´s not here with her. So now she ignores him.
- She forgot him and is just scared of anyone big who talks loud (she´s only been in this house for a week).
- She actually has a bigger problem with those big male cats that already live here and she doesn´t really trust, and therefore takes it out on all male beings: cat or humans. Can this actually happen? I mean, she´s just TOO easy with women, and some she hasn´t even met before.
What do you think? What to do?
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Last edited by meowyn; 12-27-2010 at 10:03 AM. Reason: *SHE* misses him
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-27-2010, 09:46 PM
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I think it's hard to say, all the theories you have are possible reasons. It's likely one of those three reasons, although I doubt she's forgetten him in such a short span of time. Likely the cat is just upset with him and confused. To answer your question, yes cats and other animals can prefer one gender over the other, most often this does tend to be females with cats from what I've seen... my theory is that cats like this appciate the calmer and quieter appreach that men often lack or that maybe its a pheromone thing.

It must be very upsetting for your boyfriend, I hope it all works out!


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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-28-2010, 11:12 AM
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Of the theories you mentioned, I suspect the second one comes the closest to the truth. Your first theory -- sort of a "he ignored me so I'll ignore him" concept -- might be a human reaction, but requires a bit too much complex thought for a cat. As for your third theory...although cats would recognize male and female in their own species, I doubt they understand the difference between male and female in humans. In addition, that theory would require your cat to associate male cats with male humans, which I suspect is unlikely. Cats do, however, understand the difference between deep, booming voices and softer voices. So, it's likely that your cat is no longer used to having a male around and is a little frightened or put off by the louder voices, etc.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-28-2010, 11:06 PM Thread Starter
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His latest visit, she was a bit more friendly. Or less frightened, mostly. I wasn´t the kind to think cats were so fast to forget --all my cats always seem to remember me even if I leave for months-- and it is really upsetting for my boyfriend. He´s more of a dog person, this is his first cat... and pretty much makes his case for "dogs are more loyal". I hate it!!
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-28-2010, 11:30 PM
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As already mentioned, your first and third theories are way too complex and human like for a cat's reasoning abilities. The second may be part of the equation...

You've moved a cat away from her home and she has lots of new people and other cats to contend with. She's naturally out of sorts. Her response to your boyfriend while not normally expected with someone she knows well, isn't completely unusual. Cats identify their people with sight and smell...your boyfriend comes in smelling very different after having been at his parents house. And I assume since he's a dog person that there are dogs at his parent's house...a scent that could really put your cat off, especially combined with all the other changes.

I suspect that she just needs adjustment time and an opportunity to reconnect with your BF.


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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-02-2011, 04:52 PM
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I'm thinking a variation on #2 and #3 -- she sort of forgot him and is just scared of any human with an unfamiliar male scent. Human male scents and cat male scents are too different for her to be lumping together, but she could have developed an aversion to the human male scent specifically from the other men around, who are scaring her for other reasons. If she didn't have much contact with men other than your BF before, the key marker of his scent for her might have been the maleness of it, and now that there are other men around, she's confused, but knows that they can't all be your BF. So she might not trust the scent recognition anymore because she's been smelling what she thought of as your BF's scent on other men, who she can tell for other reasons (loudness, etc.) aren't him.

Or that's my theory anyway.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-03-2011, 05:56 PM Thread Starter
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Smile Better!

Thanks everyone for your help. Time has proved her attitude to be pretty much what everyone told me to be: a combination between confusion and my boyfriend smelling unfamiliar, I guess. For new years i was with him all day, all night, and my cat purred happily by his side (even when i wasn't there!). I guess she wanted him to smell like me!
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